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Author Topic: You might be a redneck if: Back to Topics
JCS319
Champion Author
Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 6, 2009 10:27:51 PM

Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 28, 2015 3:18:14 AM

Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 28, 2015 2:24:32 AM

You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 26, 2015 11:52:21 PM

Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 26, 2015 12:59:26 AM

You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 25, 2015 12:20:09 AM

You burn your yard rather than mow it.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 23, 2015 10:47:51 PM

Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 22, 2015 10:15:08 PM

Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
emrgcy
All-Star Author Calgary

Posts:867
Points:529,220
Joined:Mar 2012
Message Posted: Mar 21, 2015 3:13:22 AM

You stock up on the Sears catalog just before winter starts.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 21, 2015 3:02:56 AM

Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 21, 2015 2:47:12 AM

You think the stock market has a fence around it.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 20, 2015 1:31:53 AM

You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 17, 2015 11:24:44 PM

You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 16, 2015 11:01:26 PM

Sandpeople back down from your mama.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 15, 2015 9:57:04 PM

You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in your back pocket.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 14, 2015 3:45:34 AM

Your moonshine is made on a real moon.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 12, 2015 10:40:34 PM

You used a carbon-freezing chamber to mount the Wampa you shot while on vacation on Hoth.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 10, 2015 10:43:08 PM

You wonder why Luke and Leia gave up on getting married.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 9, 2015 10:20:19 PM

The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 7, 2015 3:03:36 AM

More than half the droids you own don't function.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 7, 2015 2:57:02 AM

You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 6, 2015 1:54:37 AM

You have a stuffed womp rat anywhere in your home.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 4, 2015 11:46:40 PM

The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 3, 2015 10:54:21 PM

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 2, 2015 11:24:07 PM

Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side.. .it'll be a hoot."
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 1, 2015 3:36:54 AM

You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 1, 2015 1:44:31 AM

The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 27, 2015 1:35:32 AM

You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 26, 2015 12:21:03 AM

Wookies are offended by your B.O.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 24, 2015 11:29:13 PM

You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 22, 2015 3:04:18 AM

You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 22, 2015 12:56:36 AM

A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 20, 2015 12:28:41 AM

You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 19, 2015 12:30:05 AM

You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 16, 2015 3:01:40 AM

You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 14, 2015 3:03:19 AM

Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off it.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 14, 2015 3:03:07 AM

Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off it.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 14, 2015 2:38:38 AM

There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 13, 2015 2:08:27 AM

At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 12, 2015 1:39:20 AM

You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
R209
Champion Author California

Posts:31,998
Points:1,050,350
Joined:Jul 2012
Message Posted: Feb 11, 2015 1:35:50 AM

Your first cousin is also your stepmother.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 11, 2015 1:26:54 AM

You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 10, 2015 12:29:08 AM

Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 9, 2015 1:59:45 AM

You've ever shot a mouse inside your home. You might be a redneck Jedi if...
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 7, 2015 3:22:24 AM

Your baseball bat "ain't never been used on a ball, but it's sure hit plenty of other things."
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 6, 2015 11:48:47 PM

Your homecoming basketball game was rained out.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 5, 2015 1:39:19 AM

You've ever drunk mouthwash just because you're too lazy to walk down to the liquor store.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 4, 2015 1:41:44 AM

You re-use dental floss to save money.

[Edited by: JCS319 at 2/4/2015 1:45:12 AM EST]
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 3, 2015 1:53:26 AM

You have a lucky rabbit's foot in your pocket and a lucky rabbit nailed above your fireplace.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 31, 2015 3:09:58 AM

The lake has to be restocked after you take a bath.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 31, 2015 2:54:51 AM

Higher math means counting over 10.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:29,329
Points:3,351,960
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 30, 2015 1:15:28 AM

You think the freeway is the back door of the movie theater.
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