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Author Topic: You might be a redneck if: Back to Topics
JCS319
Champion Author
Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 6, 2009 10:27:51 PM

Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 1, 2015 3:36:54 AM

You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 1, 2015 1:44:31 AM

The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 27, 2015 1:35:32 AM

You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 26, 2015 12:21:03 AM

Wookies are offended by your B.O.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 24, 2015 11:29:13 PM

You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 22, 2015 3:04:18 AM

You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 22, 2015 12:56:36 AM

A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 20, 2015 12:28:41 AM

You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 19, 2015 12:30:05 AM

You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 16, 2015 3:01:40 AM

You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 14, 2015 3:03:19 AM

Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off it.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 14, 2015 3:03:07 AM

Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off it.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 14, 2015 2:38:38 AM

There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 13, 2015 2:08:27 AM

At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 12, 2015 1:39:20 AM

You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
R209
Champion Author California

Posts:31,441
Points:1,015,875
Joined:Jul 2012
Message Posted: Feb 11, 2015 1:35:50 AM

Your first cousin is also your stepmother.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 11, 2015 1:26:54 AM

You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 10, 2015 12:29:08 AM

Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 9, 2015 1:59:45 AM

You've ever shot a mouse inside your home. You might be a redneck Jedi if...
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 7, 2015 3:22:24 AM

Your baseball bat "ain't never been used on a ball, but it's sure hit plenty of other things."
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 6, 2015 11:48:47 PM

Your homecoming basketball game was rained out.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 5, 2015 1:39:19 AM

You've ever drunk mouthwash just because you're too lazy to walk down to the liquor store.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 4, 2015 1:41:44 AM

You re-use dental floss to save money.

[Edited by: JCS319 at 2/4/2015 1:45:12 AM EST]
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 3, 2015 1:53:26 AM

You have a lucky rabbit's foot in your pocket and a lucky rabbit nailed above your fireplace.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 31, 2015 3:09:58 AM

The lake has to be restocked after you take a bath.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 31, 2015 2:54:51 AM

Higher math means counting over 10.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 30, 2015 1:15:28 AM

You think the freeway is the back door of the movie theater.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 29, 2015 1:27:09 AM

You place a classified asking less than $1.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 28, 2015 1:12:26 AM

Your kids learned to shoot before they learned to walk.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 27, 2015 1:25:00 AM

You've ever parked your date next to a YIELD sign hoping she'd take the hint.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 26, 2015 1:48:26 AM

You think the Gettysburg Address is where Lincoln lived.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 24, 2015 3:30:03 AM

Your bumper sticker reads "If you're missing your cat, look in my treads. "
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 23, 2015 2:15:02 AM

Duct tape and wire are the only two things holding your truck together.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 21, 2015 2:01:53 AM

The idea for the Budweiser frogs came from listening to you and your friends trying to read the label on the bottle.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 20, 2015 1:55:29 AM

You have more tires in your yard than on your trucks.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 18, 2015 3:11:04 AM

You've ever invited friends over to show off what's left of the squirrel that you shot with your deer gun
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 17, 2015 2:58:22 PM

Your driveway is two tire tracks with grass growing down the middle.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 15, 2015 10:44:01 PM

People ask your wife when her baby's due and she's not pregnant.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 14, 2015 11:17:20 PM

You don't change your socks until the first pair rots off.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 14, 2015 2:15:49 AM

You need a dictionary to spell your name.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 11, 2015 10:40:09 PM

You put a Clapper on your headlights.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 10, 2015 3:05:02 AM

You think OFF is a fine smelling cologne.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 10, 2015 2:50:48 AM

You can identify your friends by the sound of their mufflers.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 2, 2015 1:14:35 AM

Your husband spray paints the upholstery of your car to make it look new.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jan 1, 2015 2:50:41 AM

You think 'possum is the "other white meat".
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Dec 30, 2014 3:02:28 AM

You're 42 and still have clowns come to your birthday party.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Dec 29, 2014 3:46:00 AM

You go to garage sales to shop for Christmas gifts.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Dec 27, 2014 3:02:24 AM

You refer to the Surgeon General's Warning on a pack of cigarettes as your medical encyclopedia.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Dec 27, 2014 2:58:04 AM

You think "Dueling Banjos" is classical music.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Dec 26, 2014 3:38:38 AM

You only bathe when it rains.
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:28,967
Points:3,318,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Dec 26, 2014 2:48:14 AM

You can't take a bath in the winter 'cause the stream is frozen.
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