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Author Topic: You might be a redneck if: Back to Topics
JCS319

Champion Author
Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 6, 2009 10:27:51 PM

Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Apr 21, 2014 11:19:04 PM

You drive around a parking lot for fun.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Apr 20, 2014 4:18:04 AM

Your house has a kickstand.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Apr 20, 2014 1:39:06 AM

You don't think Jeff's jokes are funny.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Apr 18, 2014 1:41:25 AM

You're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Apr 16, 2014 10:30:14 PM

You think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Apr 13, 2014 3:04:53 AM

You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Apr 13, 2014 2:58:44 AM

You watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Apr 11, 2014 11:57:13 PM

Your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Apr 10, 2014 12:21:31 AM

Your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Apr 7, 2014 10:56:34 PM

You've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Apr 3, 2014 3:04:02 AM

You think a turtleneck is a key ingredient in soup.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Apr 2, 2014 3:11:56 AM

You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Apr 1, 2014 3:41:42 AM

There are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 31, 2014 4:06:08 AM

Motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 30, 2014 3:07:20 AM

There are more fish on your wall than pictures.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 29, 2014 3:18:00 AM

You list your parole officer as a reference.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 29, 2014 12:57:12 AM

The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 27, 2014 12:49:05 AM

You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 25, 2014 11:50:23 PM

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 24, 2014 11:31:18 PM

Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 23, 2014 3:04:17 AM

You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 22, 2014 2:54:37 AM

You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 21, 2014 1:36:25 AM

The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 19, 2014 10:44:59 PM

You take a fishing pole to Sea World.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 18, 2014 1:31:31 AM

There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 16, 2014 4:28:54 AM

Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 15, 2014 3:33:07 AM

Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 14, 2014 1:51:12 AM

You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 13, 2014 1:38:11 AM

You've ever hitchhiked naked.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 11, 2014 1:40:18 AM

Your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 10, 2014 1:50:44 AM

Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 8, 2014 4:05:26 AM

Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 8, 2014 1:37:28 AM

Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 6, 2014 1:29:41 AM

Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 5, 2014 2:15:08 AM

People hear your car long before they see it.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 4, 2014 1:38:54 AM

You think cur is a breed of dog.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 3, 2014 1:07:01 AM

Your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Mar 1, 2014 3:29:16 AM

Your best ashtray is a turtle shell.

[Edited by: JCS319 at 3/1/2014 3:30:35 AM EST]
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 28, 2014 10:12:38 PM

You think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 28, 2014 1:36:35 AM

Your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 27, 2014 12:53:04 AM

Your coat-of-arms features kudzu.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 26, 2014 12:16:25 AM

Your baby's favorite teething ring is the garden hose in the yard.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 25, 2014 1:46:21 AM

Your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 24, 2014 12:18:22 AM

Your secret family recipe is illegal.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 22, 2014 3:02:20 AM

You watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 22, 2014 1:27:52 AM

You think Old Yeller is a movie about your brother's tooth.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 21, 2014 1:30:05 AM

A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 20, 2014 2:04:38 AM

You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 18, 2014 10:52:51 PM

There is more oil in your cap than in your car.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:24,955
Points:2,877,810
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Feb 17, 2014 11:19:00 PM

Your back porch is bigger than your house.
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