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Author Topic: You might be a redneck if: Back to Topics
JCS319

Champion Author
Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Nov 6, 2009 10:27:51 PM

Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 20, 2014 3:20:27 AM

You've ever been stuck in your own driveway.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Aug 20, 2014 2:47:17 AM

You are in 6 grade and the only one in your family that can write your name.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Aug 18, 2014 3:03:51 AM

You think a strip joint is where they disassemble cars.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Aug 18, 2014 2:53:42 AM

You thought ER was ET's cousin.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Aug 16, 2014 3:02:14 AM

You're still upset that they canceled "The Dukes of Hazzard".
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Aug 16, 2014 2:11:01 AM

You don't know what a redneck is.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Aug 14, 2014 3:04:10 AM

You consider pickled deer organs a delicacy.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Aug 14, 2014 2:43:21 AM

Instead of locking the doors of your house, you keep a shotgun within reach, "just in case".
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Aug 12, 2014 3:15:27 AM

The oak tree in the front yard is an essential piece of automotive repair equipment (how else are you gonna pull the engine out of the old Dodge?)
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Aug 12, 2014 2:32:38 AM

Your idea of new siding on the house is more tar paper.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 10, 2014 3:26:00 AM

You buy the lot next to your house because you need the room for all your "stuff" (cars, trucks building materials).
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Aug 10, 2014 2:27:28 AM

Your kids can't go out for Hollween because there's nobody within walking distance to get candy from.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Aug 8, 2014 3:09:38 AM

You argue to the government that the budwiser plant should be one of the 7 wonders of the world.


[Edited by: JCS319 at 8/8/2014 3:09:58 AM EST]
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Aug 8, 2014 2:24:37 AM

Your Truck has more Neon on it than the window of your local bar.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Aug 6, 2014 3:03:36 AM

There's a pothole in the road and you swerve . . . to hit it.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Aug 6, 2014 2:12:39 AM

You think the internet is a new fishing tool.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Aug 4, 2014 3:45:21 AM

Your idea of a luxury car is one that has the white fur covered seats in it.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Aug 4, 2014 1:48:58 AM

You've ever told the local sheriff that you smell a pig and he replies, " I knew I should have taken a shower after I slopped the hogs today."
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Aug 2, 2014 4:13:33 AM

People mistakenly come to your house thinking your having a yard sale.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

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Message Posted: Aug 1, 2014 3:22:01 AM

You refuse to wash your truck on account that you have a strong suspicion that mud and rust is all that's holding it together.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Jul 31, 2014 3:02:24 AM

You've run out of room on your arm from the tattoos of all wives names.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Jul 31, 2014 2:54:51 AM

The fuel for your main mode of transportation is oats.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Jul 29, 2014 3:03:47 AM

You ever wonder what happened to that nice John F. Kennedy boy.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Jul 29, 2014 2:59:54 AM

You think your IQ is the number of coons you shot out of season.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Jul 27, 2014 3:44:39 AM

Your car is the only one in a parking lot and you can't find it.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Jul 26, 2014 3:18:55 AM

You surf the net primarily for tater gun building instructions.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

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Message Posted: Jul 25, 2014 10:56:03 PM

You've ever wrestled your mama for the last can of beer.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Jul 24, 2014 4:56:50 PM

You can hit a bullseye from up to 50 yards away, but still have trouble with your ABC's.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Jul 24, 2014 1:02:55 AM

You think Tang is in the fruit group.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Jul 13, 2014 3:10:47 AM

City code enforcement officers use your property as a proving ground for new recruits.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Jul 13, 2014 2:46:17 AM

Your most productive fishing lure is a Dupont drifter and a dip net.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jul 12, 2014 1:56:32 AM

Your gear shift lever is a pair of vise grips.
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67SS396C
Champion Author Omaha

Posts:17,302
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Message Posted: Jul 10, 2014 3:10:01 AM

you have more than three dogs under your front porch
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Jul 10, 2014 3:06:37 AM

Cruise control in your truck involves fishing line, a pulley and a hook.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Jul 10, 2014 2:53:40 AM

Your mustache is longer than your wife's hair.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Jul 7, 2014 3:03:44 AM

The best day of your life was when you found an unopened bottle of Jack Daniels "over yonder in them hills."
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Jul 6, 2014 4:17:32 AM

The worst day of your life was when you dropped your bottle of Jack Daniels the other day.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Jul 5, 2014 3:42:26 AM

Your pickup truck no longer has a back.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Jul 4, 2014 3:23:31 AM

You think the blood on the back of your pickup truck looks cool.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
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Message Posted: Jul 3, 2014 4:48:45 AM

You think the blood on the front of your pickup truck looks cool.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Jul 2, 2014 12:30:37 AM

You roll your pickup truck and laugh about it.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Jun 20, 2014 3:27:31 AM

Your lawn mower has more horsepower than your wife's car, but no blade.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Jun 20, 2014 2:35:20 AM

You recycle enough Copenhagen lids to buy Christmas presents.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Jun 17, 2014 3:02:29 AM

You go to Wal-Mart to people watch.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Jun 17, 2014 2:56:39 AM

You own more than two clappers.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Jun 15, 2014 3:35:46 AM

Your idea of a neighborhood watch program is tuning into "America's Most Wanted".
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jun 15, 2014 1:28:15 AM

When you put your hunting boots on you only get them on the right feet 50% of the time.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jun 13, 2014 11:06:02 PM

You have more than 2 used pampers rolling around in the back of your truck.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
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Message Posted: Jun 13, 2014 1:26:50 AM

You have ever removed the 3-9 zoom scope from your deer rifle to use at a KISS concert.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,415
Points:3,027,665
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jun 12, 2014 2:18:19 AM

Your wife picks thru your garbage cans looking for any bait that may have grown in them since the last time you went.
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