Not Logged In Log In   Sign Up   Points Leaders
Follow Us    10:02 PM

Message Forum - Read Message

Category: Just For Fun > Topics Add to favorite topics   Post new topicPost New Topic
Author Topic: You might be a redneck if: Back to Topics
JCS319

Champion Author
Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 6, 2009 10:27:51 PM

Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
REPLIES (newest first) Post a Reply
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 13, 2014 3:15:01 AM

You go to your local pet shop for a cat scan.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 13, 2014 2:47:41 AM

You see a sign that says "bridge out" and you try to jump it.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 12, 2014 1:14:18 AM

You name your car the General Lee.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 10, 2014 1:08:39 AM

You've tried to quote Jeff Foxworthy and screwed it up.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 8, 2014 10:43:46 PM

You think the only tools "real men" need are duck tape and caulk, and you have successful repair projects to prove it.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 4, 2014 11:01:59 PM

You and your wife celebrate your anniversay at the K-mart cafeteria.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 2, 2014 11:48:51 PM

You just bought your family their 1st Atari game system.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 31, 2014 3:00:05 AM

You search your computer monitor for the dial that changes channels.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 29, 2014 3:05:13 AM

You got married in the family car, in a drive-thru chapel.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 29, 2014 2:40:53 AM

You keep track of all the belt holders in all the wrestling leagues.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 27, 2014 10:24:17 PM

You recite lines from "The Dukes of Hazzard".
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 25, 2014 4:14:07 AM

You can name all the characters from the "Dukes of Hazzard".
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 25, 2014 2:18:38 AM

You repair your car in the autoparts store parking lot.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 22, 2014 3:39:01 AM

Your car is made out of 17 others and each part is a different color.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 22, 2014 2:47:26 AM

You refer to your dog as the dishwasher.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 20, 2014 3:20:27 AM

You've ever been stuck in your own driveway.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 20, 2014 2:47:17 AM

You are in 6 grade and the only one in your family that can write your name.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 18, 2014 3:03:51 AM

You think a strip joint is where they disassemble cars.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 18, 2014 2:53:42 AM

You thought ER was ET's cousin.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 16, 2014 3:02:14 AM

You're still upset that they canceled "The Dukes of Hazzard".
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 16, 2014 2:11:01 AM

You don't know what a redneck is.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 14, 2014 3:04:10 AM

You consider pickled deer organs a delicacy.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 14, 2014 2:43:21 AM

Instead of locking the doors of your house, you keep a shotgun within reach, "just in case".
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 12, 2014 3:15:27 AM

The oak tree in the front yard is an essential piece of automotive repair equipment (how else are you gonna pull the engine out of the old Dodge?)
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 12, 2014 2:32:38 AM

Your idea of new siding on the house is more tar paper.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 10, 2014 3:26:00 AM

You buy the lot next to your house because you need the room for all your "stuff" (cars, trucks building materials).
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 10, 2014 2:27:28 AM

Your kids can't go out for Hollween because there's nobody within walking distance to get candy from.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 8, 2014 3:09:38 AM

You argue to the government that the budwiser plant should be one of the 7 wonders of the world.


[Edited by: JCS319 at 8/8/2014 3:09:58 AM EST]
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 8, 2014 2:24:37 AM

Your Truck has more Neon on it than the window of your local bar.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 6, 2014 3:03:36 AM

There's a pothole in the road and you swerve . . . to hit it.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 6, 2014 2:12:39 AM

You think the internet is a new fishing tool.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 4, 2014 3:45:21 AM

Your idea of a luxury car is one that has the white fur covered seats in it.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 4, 2014 1:48:58 AM

You've ever told the local sheriff that you smell a pig and he replies, " I knew I should have taken a shower after I slopped the hogs today."
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 2, 2014 4:13:33 AM

People mistakenly come to your house thinking your having a yard sale.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Aug 1, 2014 3:22:01 AM

You refuse to wash your truck on account that you have a strong suspicion that mud and rust is all that's holding it together.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jul 31, 2014 3:02:24 AM

You've run out of room on your arm from the tattoos of all wives names.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jul 31, 2014 2:54:51 AM

The fuel for your main mode of transportation is oats.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jul 29, 2014 3:03:47 AM

You ever wonder what happened to that nice John F. Kennedy boy.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jul 29, 2014 2:59:54 AM

You think your IQ is the number of coons you shot out of season.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jul 27, 2014 3:44:39 AM

Your car is the only one in a parking lot and you can't find it.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jul 26, 2014 3:18:55 AM

You surf the net primarily for tater gun building instructions.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jul 25, 2014 10:56:03 PM

You've ever wrestled your mama for the last can of beer.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jul 24, 2014 4:56:50 PM

You can hit a bullseye from up to 50 yards away, but still have trouble with your ABC's.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jul 24, 2014 1:02:55 AM

You think Tang is in the fruit group.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jul 13, 2014 3:10:47 AM

City code enforcement officers use your property as a proving ground for new recruits.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jul 13, 2014 2:46:17 AM

Your most productive fishing lure is a Dupont drifter and a dip net.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jul 12, 2014 1:56:32 AM

Your gear shift lever is a pair of vise grips.
Profile Pic
67SS396C
Champion Author Omaha

Posts:17,423
Points:2,792,990
Joined:Dec 2006
Message Posted: Jul 10, 2014 3:10:01 AM

you have more than three dogs under your front porch
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jul 10, 2014 3:06:37 AM

Cruise control in your truck involves fishing line, a pulley and a hook.
Profile Pic
JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:26,720
Points:3,080,510
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Jul 10, 2014 2:53:40 AM

Your mustache is longer than your wife's hair.
Post a reply Back to Topics