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Author Topic: You might be a redneck if: Back to Topics
JCS319

Champion Author
Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 6, 2009 10:27:51 PM

Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 25, 2014 1:25:48 AM

You think the ATM machine is a giant, public calculator.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 23, 2014 3:42:22 AM

Your mama has more tattoos than you do.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 23, 2014 1:51:38 AM

Your friend tells you he went online last night, and you think he took a drunk driving test.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 20, 2014 10:41:55 PM

You go to a wedding or any formal party and ask someone to pull your finger.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 19, 2014 12:09:56 AM

Your best Sunday clothes include your John Deere baseball cap.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 16, 2014 3:07:03 AM

You've ever absent-mindedly nibbled on your live bait . . . and didn't spit it out.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 15, 2014 3:21:53 AM

You let goldenrod grow in your yard because it looks so pretty.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 15, 2014 2:52:02 AM

Someone knocks on your front door and your back door rattles.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 13, 2014 12:20:26 AM

You want the opening day of deer hunting season to be declared a national holiday.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 11, 2014 3:10:58 AM

You've ever used an inner-tube patch on your jeans.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 11, 2014 2:45:29 AM

You can chew your own toenails.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 10, 2014 1:59:04 AM

You've ever used a hangnail as a tooth pick.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 8, 2014 3:09:51 AM

You think "Country & Western" covers both types of music.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 8, 2014 2:51:40 AM

At least one of the kitchen appliances on your front porch is more than forty years old.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 7, 2014 1:30:58 AM

You think those yellow traffic signs that say "Slow children at play" means the kids in the area are not too bright.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 5, 2014 12:59:00 AM

Your favorite fruit is chicken.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 4, 2014 1:57:47 AM

Your only excuse for smelling bad is it runs in the family.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 2, 2014 2:48:26 AM

When your wife walks in front of you it looks like two pigs fighting in a gunny sack.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 1, 2014 3:16:56 AM

Your mom kisses you goodnight and you go to school the next day and say you've met your future wife.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Nov 1, 2014 2:42:34 AM

You watch "The Dukes Of Hazzard" and have to find someone to explain it to you.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 31, 2014 1:53:52 AM

Your grandma can bench press a ruck axle.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 30, 2014 1:36:26 AM

When the back fills up with empty beer cans, you get another pickup and start all over again.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 28, 2014 11:29:28 PM

You take the back window out of your pickup because it's easier to chuck the empty beer cans in the back that way.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 26, 2014 11:19:28 PM

Instead of flossing you use a plunger.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 22, 2014 11:33:48 PM

Your mother is hairier than your father.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 21, 2014 11:55:36 PM

You've ever strained your tea through a flyswatter.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 20, 2014 12:38:33 AM

You see a forest fire and think 'Bar-bee-Q'.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 18, 2014 3:00:21 AM

Your wife asks you what you want to be when you grow up.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 18, 2014 2:51:37 AM

You have accidentally taken a drink from your spit can.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 17, 2014 1:45:52 AM

You have to check your coke can before you take a drink just in case you have mistaken it for your spit can.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 15, 2014 1:37:05 AM

You go to the post office to research your family tree.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 13, 2014 12:54:32 AM

Baling wire and a pair of pliers are what you consider high tech tools.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 11, 2014 3:15:58 AM

You've given your gun a woman's name.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 11, 2014 2:39:10 AM

You keep a chainsaw in the trunk "just in case".
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 9, 2014 12:31:45 AM

You think a computer hacker carries an axe.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 7, 2014 1:34:51 AM

Your idea of going to see a play involves goal posts.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 6, 2014 12:50:46 AM

You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can't remember how old your children are.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 4, 2014 3:16:37 AM

You can remember the entire NASCAR series schedule but can't remember your wifes birthday, kids birthday, or anniversary.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 4, 2014 12:45:07 AM

Burger King won't let you do it your way, right away.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Oct 2, 2014 1:05:04 AM

Your idea of good fishing involves the use of a boat, a net and dynamite.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 30, 2014 1:57:41 AM

You spell out NASCAR in Christmas lights.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 28, 2014 3:52:28 AM

You've ever been arrested for bootleggin'.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 27, 2014 3:41:52 AM

You *have* a clawfoot bathtub.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 27, 2014 2:53:12 AM

You think the tobacco companies have done nothing wrong.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 26, 2014 1:34:13 AM

Your kids LIKE the Arch Deluxe hamburger at McDonalds.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 25, 2014 1:58:04 AM

You can feed a family of five on ONE McDonald's Extra Value Meal.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 24, 2014 1:54:15 AM

When you say, "Let's hit the hay," you actually MEAN it.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 22, 2014 11:21:43 PM

Coons get into everyone else's trash but yours.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 21, 2014 4:52:12 AM

Your boyfriend gives you car parts for your birthday, and you like it.
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JCS319
Champion Author Tacoma

Posts:27,700
Points:3,192,485
Joined:Dec 2005
Message Posted: Sep 19, 2014 1:15:47 AM

You pull up to a gas station in a limo to buy a can of Skoal.
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