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Author Topic: DocWyeth's Place! Back to Topics
TUrtLE1625
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Oregon

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Message Posted: May 3, 2006 4:51:34 PM


Stop by and give a warm welcome to DocW, a friend from Pennsylvania.

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DocWyeth
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Message Posted: Mar 30, 2015 10:17:33 AM

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Mar 30, 2015 10:10:02 AM

A man is angry because he has it in his head that someone stole his wallet. He walks into a church to steal someone else's wallet, but he has a change of heart during the service. He confesses to the priest afterwards about what his intentions had initially been. The priest asks, "What made you change your mind?" The man says, "In your sermon on the Ten Commandments when you got to 'Thou shall not commit adultery,' I remembered where I left my wallet!"
DocWyeth
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Message Posted: Mar 29, 2015 11:45:33 AM

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
? Lao Tzu
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Mar 28, 2015 7:25:38 AM

Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life.
blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Mar 28, 2015 7:03:55 AM

Good morning DocW. You have a blessed weekend my friend.
TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Mar 28, 2015 2:47:09 AM

Greetings DocWyeth.
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Mar 26, 2015 12:22:05 PM

Good Morning all
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Mar 24, 2015 8:43:18 AM

A guy sits down at the bar and orders several drinks in rapid succession.

"Is everything okay, pal?" the bartender asks .

“My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn't talking to me for a month!”

Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, "Well,
Maybe that's kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?”

"Yeah. But today is the last day.”
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Mar 24, 2015 8:42:50 AM

I'm 83.
Except for brief period in the 50's when I was doing my National
Service, I've worked hard since I was 17. Except for some serious
health challenges, I put in 50-hour weeks, and didn't call in sick in nearly 40 years. I made a reasonable salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, it looks as though retirement was a bad idea, and I'm tired. Very tired.

I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth" to people
who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government
will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to
people too lazy to earn it.

I'm tired of being told that Islam is a "Religion of Peace," when every
day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honor"; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren't "believers"; of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery"; of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur'an and Shari'a law tells them to.

I'm tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia and other Arab countries use our oil money to fund mosques and madrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in Australia, New Zealand, UK, America and Canada , while no one from these countries are allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia or any other Arab country to teach love and tolerance..

I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global
warming, which no one is allowed to debate.

I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses or stick a needle in their arm while they tried to fight it off?

I'm tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of all
parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful
mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting
caught. I'm tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor.

I'm really tired of people who don't take responsibility for their lives and actions. I'm tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination or big-whatever for their problems.

I'm also tired and fed up with seeing young men and women in their
teens and early 20's be-deck themselves in tattoos and face studs, thereby making themselves un-employable and claiming money from the Government. And I'm sick and tired of seeing young kids walking down the streets looking like idiots with their underwear showing.

Yes, I'm damn tired. But I'm also glad to be 83.. Because, mostly,
I'm not going to have to see the world these people are making.
I'm just sorry for my granddaughter and their children.
Thank God I'm on the way out and not on the way in.There is no way this will be widely publicized, unless
each of us sends it on!

This is your chance to make a difference.

"I'm 83 and I'm tired. If you don't forward this you
are part of the problem".
KERRMAN
Champion Author Reading

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Message Posted: Mar 22, 2015 12:07:24 PM


Good afternoon Doc!
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Mar 22, 2015 10:00:46 AM

Good Morning World
TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Mar 21, 2015 3:11:45 AM

Salutations DocWyeth.
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Mar 20, 2015 9:33:14 AM

Each Friday night after work, sun, snow or rain, Jack, being a Newfie, would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a moose steak. But, all of Jack's neighbors were Catholic, and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled moose steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The priest came to visit Jack, and suggested that he become a Catholic.

After several classes and much study, Jack attended Mass, and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said: "You were born a Protestant and raised a Protestant, but now you are a Catholic."

Jack's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled moose filled the neighbourhood.

The priest was called immediately by the neighbours, and, as he rushed into Jack's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Jack, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: "You wuz born a moose, you wuz raised a moose, but now you is a codfish.."
blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Mar 17, 2015 8:30:46 AM

Good morning DocW
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Mar 15, 2015 10:19:59 AM

During your lifetime, you will produce enough saliva to fill two swimming pools.
Actually, Saliva is more important than you realize.
If your saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Mar 11, 2015 2:55:10 PM

The Train of Life
.
.
At birth we boarded the train and met our parents, and we believe they will always travel on our side; however, at some station our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone.
As time goes by, other people will board the train; and they will be significant i.e. our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of your life.
Many will step down and leave a permanent vacuum.
Others will go so unnoticed that we do not realize that they vacated their seats.
This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, goodbyes, and farewells.
Success consists of having a good relationship with all passengers requiring that we give the best of ourselves.
The mystery to everyone is: We do not know at which station we ourselves will step down.
So, we must live in the best way, love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are.
It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life.
I wish you a joyful journey on the train of life.
Reap success and give lots of love.
More importantly, thank you for being one of the passengers on my train.
KERRMAN
Champion Author Reading

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Message Posted: Mar 9, 2015 9:11:00 PM


We went up over 50 today Doc, hopefully it continues.
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Mar 9, 2015 9:52:00 AM

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
When we overheard the blonde admin girl talking about the Sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said She "didn't think she'd get sunburned
Because the car was moving."
TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Mar 7, 2015 11:32:56 AM

Good morning DocWyeth.
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Mar 7, 2015 10:42:49 AM

Hello everyone.
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Mar 5, 2015 7:45:11 AM

Dead Penguins - I never knew this!

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica?
Where do they go?

Wonder no more! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate

for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspringthroughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and socialcircle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks,until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?

It's so easy to fool OLD people.

I am sorry, an urge came over me that made me do it!!! Oh quit whining I fell for it, too.
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Mar 4, 2015 12:15:56 PM

Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing. He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge. Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet. When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that faucet?" The manager replied, "That's a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00." Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that's an expensive faucet! certainly out of my price range." She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy. The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one. From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Ma'am, you wanna screw for the hinge?" Mary shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucet." And THAT'S why you can't send a woman to Home Depot!
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Mar 3, 2015 3:29:40 PM

lightly snowing in ABE right now
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Mar 2, 2015 9:53:22 AM

It snowed 4 in here last night. I got it moved while it was still 25 degrees and all soft and light n fluffy. Now it is 33 and snowing this am again. Slush all over and my car looks like a beater with all the dirt on it.
blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Mar 1, 2015 7:17:05 AM

Good morning DocW. Its snowing again. I am trying to leave for Daytona bike Tuesday. Not in this stuff.
blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Feb 28, 2015 6:32:04 AM

Good morning my friend. You have a great weekend and a great March.
TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Feb 27, 2015 11:32:39 PM

Good evening DocWyeth.
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Feb 27, 2015 12:42:20 PM

Good Afternoon
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Feb 26, 2015 11:11:37 AM

Good Morning All
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Feb 25, 2015 11:19:50 AM

Good morning all.
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Feb 25, 2015 11:19:44 AM

Good morning all.
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Feb 25, 2015 11:19:39 AM

Good morning all.
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Feb 23, 2015 12:17:46 PM

Good morning all.
KERRMAN
Champion Author Reading

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Message Posted: Feb 22, 2015 9:27:10 PM


Good to see you Doc!
TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Feb 21, 2015 12:04:37 PM

Greetings DocWyeth.
blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Feb 21, 2015 10:58:24 AM

Good morning DocW. Have a blessed weekend and stay warm
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Feb 21, 2015 8:08:20 AM

Good Morning. Seems I am back in the forums.
I will always say the mods are quick tempered and thick headed.
Brillo8
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Message Posted: Feb 16, 2015 7:39:26 AM

Good morning Doc
blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Feb 15, 2015 9:59:43 AM

Good morning my friend
TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Feb 14, 2015 12:01:58 AM

Bonjour DocWyeth.
trevor3000
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Message Posted: Feb 9, 2015 11:06:19 AM

Good Morning DocW!
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Feb 9, 2015 9:47:52 AM

So I posted this article in the news... GB made it disappear.
Dont tell me they dont have an liberal agenda...

When future generations look back on the global-warming scare of the past 30 years, nothing will shock them more than the extent to which the official temperature records – on which the entire panic ultimately rested – were systematically “adjusted” to show the Earth as having warmed much more than the actual data justified.

Two weeks ago, under the headline “How we are being tricked by flawed data on global warming”, I wrote about Paul Homewood, who, on his Notalotofpeopleknowthat blog, had checked the published temperature graphs for three weather stations in Paraguay against the temperatures that had originally been recorded. In each instance, the actual trend of 60 years of data had been dramatically reversed, so that a cooling trend was changed to one that showed a marked warming.

This was only the latest of many examples of a practice long recognised by expert observers around the world – one that raises an ever larger question mark over the entire official surface-temperature record.

The fiddling with temperature data is the biggest science scandal ever
Brillo8
Champion Author North Carolina

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Message Posted: Feb 9, 2015 8:52:12 AM

Good morning Doc....

Informative post. Thanks!

O One
B Big
A A$$
M Mistake
A America
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Feb 8, 2015 11:08:33 AM

President Barack Obama's Fiscal Year 2016 Budget was unveiled Monday to the American public, along with the Department of Treasury's Greenbook, which provides further explanation and details of the proposals in the president's budget.

This year's version of the budget included a number of provisions targeting retirement accounts. That was no surprise, as provisions aimed at retirement accounts have been a regular feature in budgets in recent years. What was a surprise, however, is how many proposals were targeting retirement accounts, and how many new proposals there were. All told, this year's budget featured over a dozen provisions that, if they were to become law, could directly impact your retirement savings.

TY Mr President for showing me how socialism works. Those that work hard share with those that are lazy via the govt taking from me and giving to a lazy person.
KERRMAN
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Message Posted: Feb 7, 2015 5:33:58 PM


Good evening Doc!
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Feb 7, 2015 9:10:50 AM

A blonde goes to the doctor's and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what's wrong. She replies, "I know who the dad is for one of them but I don't know who the dad is for the other one!"
TCOROLLA
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Message Posted: Feb 6, 2015 11:53:08 PM

Salutations DocWyeth.
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Feb 6, 2015 12:29:53 PM

I just checked the weather and we are at a high of 19 Whoo Hoo
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Feb 4, 2015 12:35:20 PM

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Sunday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the un-install does not work on this program. Can you help me, please???

Thanks, Joe

——————

Dear Joe:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely that you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so that, in the end, nothing would be gained. It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than with the original system. Look in your manual under “Warnings-Alimony/Child Support”. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur,regardless of their actual cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case, avoid excessive use of the Esc key because — ultimately-you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support.
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Feb 2, 2015 2:21:41 PM

How The Internet Got Started - According To The Bible.
.
.
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, Large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying
what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)." Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures Hebrew To The People (HTTP). And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich
Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks. And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are." And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew
Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com. Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
That is how it all began.
And that's the truth.
DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Feb 1, 2015 10:31:45 AM

Q: What do you call 40 guys watching the Super Bowl?

A: The Philadelphia Eagles.
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