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Author Topic: DocWyeth's Place! Back to Topics
TUrtLE1625

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Oregon

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Message Posted: May 3, 2006 4:51:34 PM


Stop by and give a warm welcome to DocW, a friend from Pennsylvania.

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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jan 22, 2015 9:20:52 AM

Good morning DocW. I went to Baltimore twice yesterday. The bad weather wasn't that bad Thank God. Friday I follow a truck mounted crane to Dayton NJ. Starting out the new year with some extra funds..............
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jan 22, 2015 8:13:46 AM

Q: What did the plug say to the socket?

A: "Socket to me, baby!"
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TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Jan 21, 2015 11:08:15 PM

Good evening DocWyeth.
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jan 21, 2015 7:30:33 AM

Good morning DOcW and take it easy if you are out and about. I have to take someone to the Doctor in Baltimore this morning. I am praying for a safe trip.
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Brillo8
Champion Author North Carolina

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Message Posted: Jan 20, 2015 6:47:09 AM

Good morning Doc!
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jan 19, 2015 11:19:15 AM

A guy walks into a bathroom, sits down, and notices three buttons in front of him marked, WW, WA, and ATR. Curiosity gets the better of him so he decides to press WW. Suddenly, warm water sprays up his rear. “Mmmm,” he says to himself. “That was good.” So he presses WA and a jet of warm air dries his backside. “Mmmm. Nice!” So finally he can’t resist pressing the ATR button. The next thing he knows, he is waking up in a hospital ward just as the nurse is entering the room. “Nurse, Nurse! Where am I? What happened?” The nurse replies, “You must have missed the sign to not press the ATR button.” “What does ATR mean exactly?” says the guy. “Automatic Tampon Remover. Your testicles are under your pillow.”
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jan 18, 2015 9:56:47 AM

Do you know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers fighting over a penny.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jan 17, 2015 12:46:21 PM

Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?
A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.
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TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Jan 16, 2015 11:23:01 PM

Good evening DocWyeth.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jan 16, 2015 3:19:39 PM

A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."
"No way! They have no clothes and no shelter," the Russian points out, "They have only an apple to eat, and are being told they live in a paradise. Obviously, they are Russian."
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jan 14, 2015 10:11:35 AM

What do you call Satan and a lawyer?

Twins!
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jan 12, 2015 2:04:46 PM

Q: What is the difference between a dead skunk in the middle of the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road?
A: The skid marks in front of the skunk.
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KERRMAN
Champion Author Reading

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Message Posted: Jan 11, 2015 6:59:15 PM


How was your weekend Doc?
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jan 7, 2015 2:12:02 PM

Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer."

"Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!"

God replies, "You better send them up here immediately."

Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them."

God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you."

Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
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TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Jan 6, 2015 11:30:54 PM

Good evening DocWyeth.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jan 6, 2015 12:08:45 PM

Good Afternoon all

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KERRMAN
Champion Author Reading

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Message Posted: Jan 5, 2015 10:28:24 PM


What's up Doc?
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jan 5, 2015 8:41:05 AM

Good morning DocW.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jan 4, 2015 10:21:24 AM

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
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Brillo8
Champion Author North Carolina

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Message Posted: Jan 4, 2015 9:20:47 AM

Good morning Doc! Hope you have a nice Sunday!
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jan 2, 2015 10:10:01 AM

Happy New Year
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jan 2, 2015 9:40:31 AM

Good morning DocW
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jan 1, 2015 6:02:58 PM

Happy 2015 DocW.
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trevor3000
Champion Author Pittsburgh

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Message Posted: Jan 1, 2015 2:26:08 PM

Happy New Year DocW!
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TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Jan 1, 2015 1:07:28 PM

Happy New Year DocWyeth!
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KERRMAN
Champion Author Reading

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Message Posted: Dec 31, 2014 8:28:35 PM


Happy New Years Doc!
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Dec 31, 2014 10:35:19 AM

It is New Years Eve.
Tonight is Amateur night. If you are one, be safe and dont drive.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Dec 30, 2014 1:30:38 PM

Today's holiday list: 12/30

Today is Bacon Day!
Today is Falling Needles Family Fest Day!
Today is Festival of Enormous Changes at the Last Minute!
Today is National Bicarbonate of Soda Day!
Today is No Interruptions Day!
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Dec 30, 2014 1:28:15 PM

Happy New Year. Then Happy Orthodox Christmas Then Happy Chinese New Year. Then...
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Dec 26, 2014 9:02:47 AM

May you all have a HAPPY RETURN DAY
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KERRMAN
Champion Author Reading

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Message Posted: Dec 25, 2014 4:49:35 PM


Merry Christmas DocW!
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TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Dec 25, 2014 11:57:22 AM

Merry Christmas DocWyeth.
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Dec 25, 2014 9:37:35 AM

Merry Christmas DocW....
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Dec 24, 2014 9:33:38 AM

How do you tell a devil worshipper happy holidays?Tell them to go to h' ell.
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Brillo8
Champion Author North Carolina

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Message Posted: Dec 24, 2014 8:38:30 AM

Merry Christmas to you and your family Doc!
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Dec 23, 2014 12:50:18 PM

Good Afternoon everyone
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KERRMAN
Champion Author Reading

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Message Posted: Dec 20, 2014 10:27:41 PM


Evening Doc!
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TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Dec 20, 2014 1:15:10 PM

Greetings DocWyeth.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Dec 19, 2014 11:40:05 AM

The Teacher says to the class: Who ever stands up is stupid
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: I said who ever stands up is STUPID!
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: Johnny, do you really think that you are stupid?
Little Johnny: No Mrs, I just thought that maybe you are lonely being the only one standing.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Dec 16, 2014 1:01:53 PM

A family is at the dinner table.
The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”
The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”
This infuriated his wife and daughter.
The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?”
The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks.
“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Dec 14, 2014 8:22:40 PM

Good Afternoon All
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Dec 11, 2014 11:16:10 AM

Little Billy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Obama.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send Billy a $5.00 bill.
President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
Billy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:
Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.00.
Thanks,
Billy

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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Dec 11, 2014 11:10:23 AM

GOod Morning All.
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Dec 11, 2014 6:19:33 AM

Good morning DocW
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Dec 10, 2014 2:40:06 PM

You know you're starting to get up there in years when you have to use a shopping cart at the pharmacy.
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TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Dec 9, 2014 10:41:41 PM

Good evening DocWyeth.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Dec 9, 2014 10:34:16 AM

Fred was in the fertilized egg business.
He had several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
Fred's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!
When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To Fred's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.
He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pullet surprise" as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.
Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
.
Vote carefully in the next election, you can’t always hear the bells.
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Chuckieboi
Champion Author Phoenix

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Message Posted: Dec 7, 2014 12:02:24 PM

Morning, DocW
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KERRMAN
Champion Author Reading

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Message Posted: Dec 7, 2014 12:00:31 PM


Good morning Doc!
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Dec 5, 2014 12:10:28 PM

Good Afternoon All
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Dec 4, 2014 9:54:45 AM

Hello All.
Very busy at work and I really did not have time to write. I hope you all had a lovely holiday
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