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Author Topic: DocWyeth's Place! Back to Topics
TUrtLE1625

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Message Posted: May 3, 2006 4:51:34 PM


Stop by and give a warm welcome to DocW, a friend from Pennsylvania.

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TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Jul 26, 2014 11:13:22 AM

Good morning DocWyeth.
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jul 23, 2014 8:25:30 AM

Good morning DocW.
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TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Jul 20, 2014 9:23:56 PM

Good evening DocWyeth.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jul 20, 2014 2:04:11 PM

Good afternoon all.
Busy week at work. Put in a new network. Lots of hours and still more to fix up monday morning.
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KERRMAN
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Message Posted: Jul 20, 2014 1:57:56 PM


Afternoon Doc!
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jul 16, 2014 5:25:12 AM

Good morning DocW
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jul 14, 2014 1:39:59 PM

The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.

The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have
so much energy.
The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your
energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around,
the sales lady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said, "I want five loaves."
She said, "My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."
He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this but me."
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KERRMAN
Champion Author Reading

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Message Posted: Jul 12, 2014 8:10:41 PM


lol...another good one Doc!
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jul 12, 2014 1:41:40 PM

An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater. When
the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir,
but you're only allowed one seat." The old man just groaned but didn't
budge.

The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm
going to have to call the manager." Once again, the old man just groaned.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned
with the manager.

Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man,
but with no success. Finally they summoned the police.

The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy
what's your name?" "Fred," the old man moaned. "Where ya from, Fred?" asked
the police officer.

With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied,
"The balcony."
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TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Jul 12, 2014 11:53:11 AM

Good morning DocWyeth.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jul 11, 2014 10:49:09 AM

Is a nation without borders a nation?
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jul 11, 2014 5:24:54 AM

Good morning DocW.
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jul 10, 2014 4:28:10 PM

Good afternoon my friend DocW.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jul 10, 2014 9:12:47 AM

Today's the 67th anniversary of the Roswell UFO incident. Conspiracy theorists, start here:
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jul 8, 2014 9:06:34 AM

Happy Birthday to

Beck Hansen (Bek David Campbell, July 8, 1970), known by the stage name Beck, is an American musician, singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist. Beck rose to fame in the early 1990s with his lo-fi, sonically experimental style, and he became well known for creating musical collages of a wide range of styles. His later recordings encompass folk, funk, soul, hip hop, alternative rock, country and psychedelia. Beck has released ten studio albums, as well as several non-album singles and a book of sheet music.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jul 7, 2014 11:23:59 AM

1963The Rolling Stones made their UK TV debut when they appeared on 'Thank Your Lucky Stars.' Also appearing on the show was, Mickie Most, The Cadets, Helen Shapiro and Gordon Mills. The group made a total of 13 appearances on the show between 1963 and 1966.?
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jul 6, 2014 1:30:44 PM

Your second half rank is: 44
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jul 6, 2014 9:30:26 AM

It was alright Blu. A few too many locals with large M80 too late at night. Other than that it was peaceful. Made a huge salad for myself and my little dog got some expensive wet dog food.

Hello TC. I will visit you later and leave more SOTOs.
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TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Jul 5, 2014 11:59:11 PM

Salutations DocWyeth.
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jul 5, 2014 6:24:44 PM

Hope you had a great 4th.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jul 5, 2014 10:52:40 AM

1965, Marty Balin and Paul Kantner formed a Folk-Rock group that would evolve into the Jefferson Airplane, the premier San Francisco psychedelic band of the late '60s. The Airplane made its debut the following month at a Haight-Ashbury club, and was signed to RCA later in the year.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jul 4, 2014 5:45:23 PM

Great Fireworks
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jul 3, 2014 12:14:47 PM

Today

American singer, songwriter and poet, Jim Morrison of The Doors was found dead in a bathtub in Paris, France, the cause of death was given as a heart attack. He co-wrote some of the group's biggest hits, including ‘Light My Fire’, ‘Love Me Two Times’, and ‘Love Her Madly.’ On the 25th anniversary of his death an estimated 15,000 fans gathered at Pere Lachaise Cemetery in Paris, France to pay their respects.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jul 2, 2014 9:23:09 AM

2nd July 1979..."The Walkman"

Sony introduced the Walkman, the first portable audio cassette player.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jul 1, 2014 9:10:54 AM

The Politician and Hell
.
.
So a politician dies…
.
And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name. "So, you’re a politician…" "Well, yes, is that a problem?" "Oh no, no problem. But we’ve recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in Hell.
After that however, you’re free to choose where you want to spend eternity!""Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell??" says the politician. "Them’s the rules" Says St Peter, clicks his fingers, and WOOMPH, the guy dissapears…
.
And awakes, curled up with his hands over his eyes, knowing he’s in Hell.
Cautiously, he listens for the screams, sniffs the air for brimstone, and finds… Nothing.
Just the smell of, is that fabric softener? And cut grass, this can’t be right?
.
"Open your eyes!" says a voice. "C’mon, wakey wakey, we’ve only got 24 hours!". Nervously, he uncovers his eyes, looks around, and sees he’s in a hotel room. A nice one too. Wait, this is a penthouse suite… And there’s a smiling man in a suit, holding a martini. "Who are you??" The politician asks. "Well, I’m Satan!" says the man, handing him the drink and helping him to his feet. "Welcome to Hell!" "Wait, this is Hell? But… Where’s all the pain and suffering?" he asks. Satan throws him a wink. "Oh, we’ve been a bit mis-represented over the years, it’s a long story. Anyway, this is your room! The minibar is of course free, as is the room service, there’s extra towels next to the hot-tub, and if you need anything, just call reception. But enough of this! It’s a beautiful day, and if you’d care to look outside…" Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings, the man wanders over to the floor-to-ceiling windows through which the sun is glowing, looks far down, and sees a group of people cheering and waving at him from a golf course. "It’s one of 5 pro-level courses on site, and there’s another 6 just a few minutes drive out past the beach and harbour!" says Satan, answering his unasked question. So they head down in the lift, walk out through the glittering lobby where everyone waves and welcomes the man, as Satan signs autographs and cherrily talks shop with the laughing staff. And as he walks out, he sees the group on the golf course are made up of every one of his old friends, people he’s admired for years but never met or worked with, and people whose work he’s admired but died long before his career started. And out of the middle of this group walks his wife, with a massive smile and the body she had when she was 20, who throws her arms around him and plants a delicate kiss on his cheek. Everyone cheers and applauds, and as they slap him on the back and trade jokes, his worst enemy arrives, as a 2 foot tall goblin-esque caddy. He spends the day in the bright sunshine on the course, having the time of his life laughing at jokes and carrying important discussions, putting the world to rights with his friends while holding his delighted wife next to him as she gazes lovingly at him. Later, they return to the hotel for dinner and have an enormous meal, perfectly cooked, which descends into a food-fight when someone accidentally throws a bread roll at the next table (where Ghandi is having a game of truth-or-dare with Marylin Monroe). As everyone is falling about laughing and flinging breadsticks at each other, his wife whispers in his ear… And they return to their penthouse suite, and spend the rest of the night making love like they did on their honeymoon. After 6 hours of intense passion, the man falls deep into the 100% Egyptian cotton pillows, and falls into a deep and happy sleep…
.
And is woken up by St Peter. "So, that was Hell. Wasn’t what you were expecting, I bet?" "No sir!" says the man. "So then" says St Peter "you can make your choice. It’s Hell, which you saw, or Heaven, which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on". "Well… I know this sounds strange, but on balance, I think I’d prefer Hell" says the politician. "Not a problem, we totally understand! Enjoy!" Says St Peter, and clicks his fingers again.
.
The man wakes up in total darkness, the stench of ammonia filling the air and distant screams the only noise. As he adjusts, he can see the only light is from belches of flame far away, illuminating the ragged remains of people being tortured or burning in a sulphurous ocean. A sudden bolt of lightning reveals Satan next to him, wearing the same suit as before and grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and a coil of razor-wire in the other. "What’s this??" He cries. "Where’s the hotel?? Where’s my wife??? Where’s the minibar, the golf-courses, the pool, the restaurant, the free drinks and the sunshine???"
.
"Ah", says Satan. "You see, yesterday, we were campaigning. But today, you voted…"
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jul 1, 2014 9:07:14 AM

Wolfman Jack died today in 1995
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KERRMAN
Champion Author Reading

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Message Posted: Jun 30, 2014 8:36:06 PM


I really like that one Doc, it was good!
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jun 30, 2014 11:20:00 AM

A Honda mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Honda
when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was
there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car
when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look
at this? The cardiologist, a bit surprised walked over to where the mechanic
was working on the Honda . The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on
a rag and asked,

"So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out,
repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and
when I finished, it worked just like new. So how is it that I make $24,000
a year and you make $1.7M , when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic....

"Try doing it with the engine running."
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jun 30, 2014 8:02:45 AM

GOOD MORNING DOCW
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TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Jun 28, 2014 12:26:50 PM

Greetings DocWyeth.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jun 27, 2014 9:45:41 AM

Why does toilet paper need a commercial.

Who is not buying TP?
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jun 27, 2014 4:02:58 AM

Good morning DocW. You have a great weekend sir.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jun 26, 2014 8:40:07 AM

Do not underestimate your abilities!

That is your boss's job.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jun 25, 2014 12:30:37 PM

The Obama administration has quietly cleared the way for the first exports of unrefined American oil, allowing energy companies to chip away at the four-decade ban on selling U.S. crude overseas.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jun 24, 2014 9:21:48 AM

Good Morning Blu
Good Morning Kerrman
Good Morning TC
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jun 23, 2014 10:55:25 AM

Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked and playing with himself in front of a tractor. Mick says, "Jaysus Paddy, what’re ye doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been gettin’ on in the bedroom lately & the therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor.....”?
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jun 22, 2014 12:01:09 PM

Good afternoon DocW. Have a great Sunday and a great next week.
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TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Jun 21, 2014 12:14:59 PM

Howdy DocWyeth.
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KERRMAN
Champion Author Reading

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Message Posted: Jun 21, 2014 10:49:12 AM


Good morning Doc!
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jun 21, 2014 4:39:13 AM

Good morning DocW.
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TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Jun 19, 2014 2:23:35 PM

Greetings DocWyeth.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jun 17, 2014 9:34:31 AM

FACT: If you adjust your facial expression to reflect an emotion, you’ll actually begin to feel that emotion.

So now smile Dammit.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jun 15, 2014 5:16:50 PM

Good Morning Blu
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jun 15, 2014 7:18:30 AM

Good morning DocW
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jun 14, 2014 6:09:12 AM

Good morning DocW
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jun 13, 2014 8:49:10 AM

I never liked beer. Now I know why.
Beer, especially American beer, is made with all sorts of ingredients beyond the basic hops, malt and yeast. There are numerous other ingredients used to clarify, stabilize, preserve, enhance the color and flavor of beer. We know more about what is in a can of Coke than what is in a can of beer.
MSG
Propylene Glycol
Calcium Disodium EDTA (made from formaldehyde, sodium cayanide & Ethylenediamine)
sulfites and anti-microbial preservatives (linked to allergies and asthma)
Natural Flavors (can come from anything natural including a beavers anal gland) Yep you read that right.
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Caramel Coloring (Class III or IV made from ammonia and classified as a carcinogen)
Animal Based Clarifiers: Findings include isinglass (dried fish bladder), gelatin (from skin, connective tissue, and bones), and casein (found in milk)
glyceryl monostearate and pepsin are both potentially derived from animals
BPA It can mimic the female hormone estrogen and may affect sperm count.
Carrageenan (linked to inflammation in digestive system)
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jun 12, 2014 4:27:55 PM

Good Morning Blu

Good Morning TC
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blubaugh
Champion Author Pennsylvania

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Message Posted: Jun 11, 2014 7:28:16 AM

Good morning DocW. Its hump day again. Have a great day.
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TCOROLLA
Champion Author Salem

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Message Posted: Jun 6, 2014 11:01:33 AM

Good morning DocWyeth.
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DocWyeth
Champion Author Allentown

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Message Posted: Jun 6, 2014 7:40:12 AM

A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?"
The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?”
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am.
But let me ask you something.
If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?"
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"
The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."
The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Polish"
.
The clerk replied, "Because you're in Home Depot.
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