utvolsfan007
Champion Author
Virginia
Posts:4,943
Points:752,475
Joined:Mar 2011
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Message Posted: May 18, 2013 8:15:30 AM
Don`t judge me by my past ...I don`t live there anymore
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utvolsfan007
Champion Author
Virginia
Posts:4,943
Points:752,475
Joined:Mar 2011
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Message Posted: May 16, 2013 6:53:31 PM
Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow,
LIVE TODAY
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utvolsfan007
Champion Author
Virginia
Posts:4,943
Points:752,475
Joined:Mar 2011
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Message Posted: May 15, 2013 3:38:23 PM
Nobody is a virgin anymore, life has screwed us all!
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utvolsfan007
Champion Author
Virginia
Posts:4,943
Points:752,475
Joined:Mar 2011
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Message Posted: May 14, 2013 12:12:23 AM
I can't dance, and I can't sing but I can always hum the music
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tckayaker
Sophomore Author
Michigan
Posts:225
Points:126,785
Joined:Oct 2012
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Message Posted: May 12, 2013 12:15:14 AM
breathe in, breathe out, move on...
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utvolsfan007
Champion Author
Virginia
Posts:4,943
Points:752,475
Joined:Mar 2011
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Message Posted: May 11, 2013 5:19:06 AM
Everything in life is temporary.
So if things are going good,
enjoy it because it won't last forever.
And if things are going bad, don't worry,
because it won't last forever.
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snappyray09
Champion Author
Arkansas
Posts:26,402
Points:1,333,900
Joined:Sep 2009
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Message Posted: May 10, 2013 7:27:47 PM
"Have a good day,unless you have other plans".
Our society is doomed..............
IDIOT SIGHTING
I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please"
She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....
IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,MS
IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
-- From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS IDIOT SIGHTING
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'
our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office, no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING
How would you pronounce this child's name?
"Le-a"
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo.
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It's pronounced "Ledasha".
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.
If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.
They walk among us......and they VOTE.
REV;RAY.
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tckayaker
Sophomore Author
Michigan
Posts:225
Points:126,785
Joined:Oct 2012
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Message Posted: May 9, 2013 11:01:01 PM
"he's not the brightest chalk on the sidewalk, is he?"
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: May 9, 2013 8:06:34 PM
We need to promote the use of abundant, ultra clean American natural gas as our primary alternative to all oil based fuels.
Warren
{:-)
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utvolsfan007
Champion Author
Virginia
Posts:4,943
Points:752,475
Joined:Mar 2011
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Message Posted: May 9, 2013 6:46:49 AM
Never let the truth get in the way of a good story!
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HELLRAZOR
Champion Author
Las Vegas
Posts:7,547
Points:1,075,750
Joined:Jan 2010
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Message Posted: Apr 26, 2013 10:55:04 AM
"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same." -Ronald Reagan
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utvolsfan007
Champion Author
Virginia
Posts:4,943
Points:752,475
Joined:Mar 2011
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Message Posted: Apr 18, 2013 12:06:49 AM
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them
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utvolsfan007
Champion Author
Virginia
Posts:4,943
Points:752,475
Joined:Mar 2011
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Message Posted: Apr 15, 2013 3:48:09 PM
If I won an award for laziness,
I would probably just send someone
out to pick it up for me.
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Apr 12, 2013 5:12:19 PM
Smoke from the oven is not a good sign.
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Apr 8, 2013 4:34:00 PM
"Those Who Throw Dirt, Lose Ground"
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Apr 7, 2013 8:53:41 PM
"Sometimes we get nearer to the Lord through music then perhaps through any other thing except prayer."
--J. Reuben Clark, Jr.
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Apr 1, 2013 4:10:29 PM
Damned if I do, Damned if I don't so dammit I will!!!
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Mar 29, 2013 4:11:13 PM
Everything's within walking distance-------------if you have the time.
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Mar 28, 2013 5:07:29 PM
I'm just a kid at heart.
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snappyray09
Champion Author
Arkansas
Posts:26,402
Points:1,333,900
Joined:Sep 2009
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Message Posted: Mar 27, 2013 11:05:56 AM
1. If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for being in the country illegally,… you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
2. If you have to get your parents permission to go on a field trip or take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion,… you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
3. If you have to show identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book, but not to vote, … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
4. If the government wants to ban stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than ten rounds, but gives 20 F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt, you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
5. If, in our largest city, you can buy "two" 16-ounce sodas, but not a 24-ounce soda because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat,… you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
6. If an 80-year-old woman and 3 yr old child can be stripped searched by the TSA, but a woman in a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched,… you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
7. If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more,… you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
8. If a seven year old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is cute, but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable, … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
9. If children are forcibly removed from parents who discipline them with spankings while children of addicts are left in filth and drug infested homes…, you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
10. If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government intrusion, while not working is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized housing, and free cell phones,… you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
11. If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big screen TV while your neighbor buys iPhones, TVs and new cars, and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage,… you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots
12. If being stripped of the ability to defend yourself makes you more safe according to the government,… you might live in a country founded by
geniuses but run by idiots.
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ReddevilNO
Champion Author
New Orleans
Posts:3,350
Points:577,690
Joined:Aug 2011
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Message Posted: Mar 25, 2013 7:19:55 AM
Overpowering a man does nothing to convince him that you're right.
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snappyray09
Champion Author
Arkansas
Posts:26,402
Points:1,333,900
Joined:Sep 2009
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Message Posted: Mar 9, 2013 3:28:59 PM
"O one B big A ASS M mistake A america".
we must stand together if we hope to take back our wonerfull contry,fro the demo & repul. Please VOTE. For a third party. THE others have had it for over two hundred years.
Just look at the mess were in. VOTE,VOTE,VOTE.
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utvolsfan007
Champion Author
Virginia
Posts:4,943
Points:752,475
Joined:Mar 2011
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Message Posted: Mar 7, 2013 6:27:57 PM
Some people think I say inappropriate things.
I prefer to think of it as brutal honesty.
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Mar 5, 2013 6:48:17 PM
Fear what you can't understand.
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Mar 5, 2013 12:43:45 AM
Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Mar 5, 2013 12:31:11 AM
Gas Saving Tip: Drive someone else's car!
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rjojo40AL
All-Star Author
Alabama
Posts:831
Points:113,505
Joined:Oct 2010
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Message Posted: Mar 3, 2013 1:52:28 PM
No man is a failure who is enjoying life.
- William Feather
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Mar 2, 2013 11:15:51 PM
Smile at somebody everyday and pass it on.
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Mar 2, 2013 8:47:38 PM
Time is MONEY!
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Mar 2, 2013 6:42:10 PM
What do you mean I aint kind?! Just NOT YOUR kind.
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rjojo40AL
All-Star Author
Alabama
Posts:831
Points:113,505
Joined:Oct 2010
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Message Posted: Mar 2, 2013 1:39:58 PM
To love what you do and feel that it matters -- how could anything be more fun?
- Katherine Graham
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utvolsfan007
Champion Author
Virginia
Posts:4,943
Points:752,475
Joined:Mar 2011
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Message Posted: Mar 2, 2013 9:20:08 AM
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit is greater than he that takes a city.
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Mar 1, 2013 4:42:34 PM
If you're going to do it, do it right.
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utvolsfan007
Champion Author
Virginia
Posts:4,943
Points:752,475
Joined:Mar 2011
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Message Posted: Mar 1, 2013 10:49:53 AM
10 percent of life is what happens to us 90
percent in life is how we handle it.
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Feb 27, 2013 7:28:39 PM
If you can't afford to drive, walk.
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snappyray09
Champion Author
Arkansas
Posts:26,402
Points:1,333,900
Joined:Sep 2009
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Message Posted: Feb 27, 2013 12:18:37 PM
"Have a great day" unless you have other plans.
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utvolsfan007
Champion Author
Virginia
Posts:4,943
Points:752,475
Joined:Mar 2011
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Message Posted: Feb 27, 2013 12:00:08 PM
Your beliefs do not make you a better person:
your life does
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Feb 25, 2013 12:22:19 AM
Miss quote me if I am wrong!
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dognose77
Rookie Author
Indianapolis
Posts:13
Points:25,110
Joined:Sep 2012
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Message Posted: Feb 24, 2013 10:19:31 AM
The more I go to the circus, the less I enjoy seeing the clowns.
Could be about work? Maybe.
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piglet2u
Champion Author
San Antonio
Posts:7,601
Points:1,233,385
Joined:May 2009
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Message Posted: Feb 23, 2013 6:36:40 AM
If you want to change the world,
change yourself.
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Feb 22, 2013 4:51:52 PM
Is the sky really the limit?
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Feb 21, 2013 1:03:06 AM
R U part of the problem or part of the solution?
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snappyray09
Champion Author
Arkansas
Posts:26,402
Points:1,333,900
Joined:Sep 2009
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Message Posted: Feb 20, 2013 10:29:31 AM
Have a great day.
I changed my porfile pic to my bike.
SO EVERYONE CAN SEE MY LITTLE RIDE.
ROYAL STAR 4 cylinder TOUR DELUXE.
I am ready for SPRING "live to ride & ride to live.VAROOOM.
Pray everyone will stay warm & dry.
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mincemeat26
Champion Author
Atlanta
Posts:14,885
Points:2,990,485
Joined:Aug 2004
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Message Posted: Feb 19, 2013 8:30:02 PM
"There is dainja in the air; it is loikin' evvawhere." -- Krazy Kat
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Feb 19, 2013 5:58:53 PM
"Never met a man I didn't like."
Will Rogers
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Feb 19, 2013 5:41:18 PM
"Old is 10 yrs older than your age."
Jimmy Stewart
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HELLRAZOR
Champion Author
Las Vegas
Posts:7,547
Points:1,075,750
Joined:Jan 2010
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Message Posted: Feb 19, 2013 1:54:50 PM
“Every day in the Jungle a Gazelle wakes up knowing today they must outrun the fastest lion or they will be eaten. And every day a Lion wakes up in the jungle knowing today they must outrun the fastest Gazelle or they will starve”…It does not matter whether or not you are a Gazelle or a Lion, when you get up every day, you better be running!
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Feb 18, 2013 5:46:56 PM
Keep on keepin on!!
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piglet2u
Champion Author
San Antonio
Posts:7,601
Points:1,233,385
Joined:May 2009
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Message Posted: Feb 17, 2013 3:39:10 PM
If you want to change the world, change yourself.
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ItisAJeepThing
Champion Author
Tucson
Posts:19,725
Points:2,146,605
Joined:Oct 2006
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Message Posted: Feb 16, 2013 12:32:47 PM
Unless you're the lead dog, scenery never changes!
Iditarod Musher
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