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Author Topic: Laugh of the day Back to Topics
yourgas

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Ontario

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Message Posted: Jun 6, 2003 1:02:48 AM

Submit your story or joke of the day and give others a 'laugh of the day'

[Edited by: TB at 8/3/2005 1:23:29 PM EST]
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ma-bell
All-Star Author Manitoba

Posts:675
Points:3,621,015
Joined:Jun 2002
Message Posted: Apr 23, 2015 9:56:28 AM

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson..
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
' Ryan, you be Jesus!'
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 23, 2015 5:41:02 AM

Interesting Facts About Dogs - Part 2
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01. The Canis vertigus, or turnspit dog, was an essential part of every large kitchen in Britain in the 16th century. The small cooking canine was bred to run in a wheel that turned a roasting spit to cook meat evenly. The wheel was put high on the wall, to keep the dogs from overheating.
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02. Dogs sneeze to communicate to other dogs that they’re not being aggressive.
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03. In 2010, a team of researchers at the University of California tested the reliability of drug- and bomb-sniffing dogs. They put 18 police dogs through 144 runs of a clean room with no drugs or explosives. But the dogs indicated on 123 runs, indicating a failure rate of 85% according to the test’s criteria.
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04. In WWII, the US Army asked Americans to loan their untrained household canines to make the ultimate sacrifice: to serve in World War II. The dogs’ handlers even sent letters home to their owners for Christmas and to inform them of their dog’s performance throughout the war.
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05. According to a 2008 study published in the journal of Applied Animal Behavior Science, the most aggressive dog breeds are Dachshunds (wiener dogs), Chihuahuas, and Jack Russell Terriers; not the Pitbull, Rottweiler or Doberman.
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06. “Lone Survivor” Marcus Luttrell received as part of recuperation a yellow Labrador puppy when he got home. On April 1, 2009, four men approached Luttrell’s property and killed the dog. Luttrell proceeded to chase the individuals through four counties in his truck armed with two 9 mm Berettas until police apprehended the individuals.
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07. Finding live victims is really important for rescue dogs. After 9/11, constantly finding bodies at the Ground Zero was leading to high stress in these dogs as they thought they were failing. To keep the spirits up, firefighters would hide in the rubble so that dogs could find them.
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08. Between 1943 and 1951, the fictional female Rough Collie dog named Lassie was the inspiration for seven MGM feature films. In 1951, MGM owed the Lassie’s owner and trainer $40,000 in back pay. Not planning any more Lassie movies, MGM instead gave the rights to the Lassie trademark to the dog’s trainer, who spun it off into a TV show that ran for 19 seasons.
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09. When police raided a dog fighting ring in South Carolina, 8 suspects attempted to flee the scene. One of the suspects was taken into custody after one dog chased him and “took him down.” The dog then escaped.
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10. As the Titanic sank “someone decided to free the dogs from their kennels, leading to the surreal sight of a pack of excited dogs racing up and down the slanting deck.”
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11. A guide dog calmly led her owner and 30 other people down 1,463 steps out of the World Trade Center on 9/11 despite the confusion, smoke, and noise around them. After descending over half the distance, they passed the firemen who were heading up, who the dog stopped to greet. Once safe, the dog then helped a woman who was blinded by the debris.
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12. Dogs have bacteria on their paws that make them smell like corn chips. This is commonly referred to as “Frito Feet.”
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13. Dogs will sometimes fake being sick to get attention.
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14. In 1987, Gabi, a German Shepherd guard dog in a Belgrade Zoo fought and defeated an escaped jaguar and in doing so saved the life of a zoo employee.
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15. In 1929, popular dog actor Rin-Tin-Tin may have received the most votes for the first Academy Award for Best Actor, but the Academy determined that a human should win.
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16. Some of Moscow’s stray dogs have figured out how to use the city’s immense and complex subway system, getting on and off at their regular stops. In the morning they travel into city to scavenge for food and catch the train back home in the evening.
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17. Snub-nosed dog breeds continually struggle to breathe because of their deformity.
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18. Because domestic dogs are descended from wolves, dogs like squeakers as the squeaky noise is reminiscent of the squeaking sound frightened or injured prey would make, appealing to the dog’s hunting instincts.
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19. In 2013, a loyal German Shepherd in France prevented the suicide attempt of its owner by knocking the gun out of her hand and helped the woman stay alive long enough for authorities to find her and intervene.
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20. Rubbing your dog’s ears sends nerve impulses to the hypothalamus and pituitary glands. These glands secrete endorphins, pain-killing, feel-good hormones that make dogs feel relaxed, even euphoric. When you rub your dog’s ears, she’s essentially getting high on her own hormones.
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21. A breed of dog called the Komondor is bred to guard sheep because their dreadlocks are too thick for wolves’ to bite through, and because they look like sheep.
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22. The Shiba Inu nearly became extinct during World War II due to a combination of food shortage and a post-war distemper epidemic. All subsequent dogs were bred from the only three surviving bloodlines.
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23. During World War II in Australia, there was an Australian Kelpie whose hearing was so acute that it could warn air force personnel of incoming Japanese planes 20 minutes before they arrived, and before they showed up on radar. He could also differentiate the sounds of allied from enemy aircraft.
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24. Chinese guide dog users are prohibited from using public transportation and are refused service by most private taxis, restaurants and supermarkets. China’s disability law does not protect guide dog users from discrimination, and Beijing actually penalizes guide dog use within its city limits.
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25. In 1923, a dog named Bobbie was separated from his owners and lost. Six months later, Bobbie appeared on their doorstep mangy and scrawny with feet worn to the bone; he showed all the signs of having walked the entire way back alone. During his ordeal he crossed 2,551 miles (4,105 km) of plains, desert and mountains in the winter to return home, an average of approximately 14 miles (23 km) per day.
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ma-bell
All-Star Author Manitoba

Posts:675
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Joined:Jun 2002
Message Posted: Apr 22, 2015 9:28:54 AM

A little boy was overheard praying:
'Lord, if you can't make me a better
boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am.'
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 22, 2015 5:26:34 AM

April 22 is … National Jelly Bean Day
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ma-bell
All-Star Author Manitoba

Posts:675
Points:3,621,015
Joined:Jun 2002
Message Posted: Apr 21, 2015 11:23:28 AM

Sign over a Gynaecologist’s Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 20, 2015 5:43:33 AM

Interesting Facts About Dogs - Part 1
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01. There is a program in Ohio that pairs abused, neglected or abandoned dogs with prison inmates for the rehabilitation of the dogs and the inmates.
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02. Humans and dogs are the only known species to seek visual cues from another individual’s eyes, and dogs only do this when interacting with humans.
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03. China’s pet markets make most of their money on ill animals. Vendors perform tabletop plastic surgery to make sickly mutts resemble more valuable breeds, then pump them full of new blood laced with painkillers and stimulants. The dogs are known as “week dogs,” because they die in seven days.
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04. Google prefers dogs to cats. Their code of conduct specifically states that they are a dog company.
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05. JFK’s daughter was secretly gifted the puppy of the first Russian dog in space as part of a series of secret daily correspondence between JFK and Khrushchev. The dog then proceeded to bite every Kennedy
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06. Spiked dog collars were invented in ancient Greece and were originally designed to protect the dog’s throat from wolf attacks
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07. Three stray dogs in Afghanistan saved 50 American soldiers by attacking a suicide bomber. A Facebook group raised $21,000 to bring the dogs back to the US and reunite them with the soldiers.
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08. A British bomb detection dog in Afghanistan died from the stress of seeing his handler shot. They had set a new record for bomb detections and the dog was awarded the equivalent to a Victoria Cross.
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09. The dog that played Comet on “Full House” is the same dog that played Air Bud.
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10. Dogs bark more than wolves because dogs have evolved into the equivalent of overgrown wolf puppies
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11. Three dogs in New Zealand were taught to drive a modified car around a race track in an effort to show the intelligence of shelter dogs.
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12. Russia’s Vladimir Putin brought a large dog with him to a round of negotiations with German politician, Angela Merkel, knowing that she had a pathological fear of dogs, in order to gain a psychological edge.
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13. In the 1860’s in San Francisco, two stray dogs who were “best friends” became local celebrities, their exploits were celebrated in local papers, and they were granted immunity from the city’s dog catchers.
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14. If a guide dog judges that a command is unsafe, it will refuse the command. This is called “intelligent disobedience”.
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15. A Labrador retriever service dog pulled his disabled owner into the recovery position after he was struck unconscious, then covered him with a blanket, retrieved his mobile phone and pushed it against his face, and only left his owner to fetch help once he had regained consciousness.
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16. Pit Bulls were once known as “nanny dogs” because of how kind and protective they were of children.
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17. The soviets trained dogs to serve as anti-tank bombers, but because they used soviet tanks to train the dogs, the dogs attacked Russian tanks instead of their German targets.
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18. Seeing eye dogs are trained to poop on command, so that their vision impaired owners can easily clean up after them.
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19. In season one of HBO’s Game of Thrones, the dire wolves were played by a relatively new breed of dog known as the Northern Inuit Dog.
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20. If you get the proper paperwork filed out, you can have your dog listed as an “Emotional Support Animal,” allowing you to bring him/her on planes and allowing him/her to live with you even if your lodging prohibits dogs.
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21. Dogs are often placed with cheetahs in captivity to help keep them calm.
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22. There is an effort called The Yellow Dog Project, which was created to bring awareness to the general public about dogs who need space while training, recovering from surgery, or being rehabilitated through the use of a yellow bow attached to the dog for easy visual recognition.
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23. The young St. Bernard rescue dogs learn how to rescue lost travelers through modeling the behavior of older dogs. They do not receive any special training, and the dogs decide for themselves if they will specialize in staying with the victim or going to seek help.
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24. In WWII, a dog named Gander fended off two Japanese ambushes. When they came back again, with a grenade this time, Gander picked it up and charged back at them, killing more Japanese, saving his wounded team, going out in a blaze of glory and earning a posthumous medal.
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25. Some dogs that fail seeing-eye school go to work as bomb-sniffers for the ATF
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26. Service dogs are trained to know when they are on duty. When their harness is on, they know they are at work. When you take it off they instantly become playful and energetic.
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27. There are special bins in Mexico City where when you put your dog poo in it, you get free wifi. The more poo, the longer the free wifi.
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28. There is a seeing-eye goose in Poland that leads around a blind dog.
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29. The average dog can learn 165 words, count up to 4 or 5 and even have a basic understanding of arithmetic.
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30. Using a basic food-reward system, normal household dogs were trained to detect both lung and breast cancer with 90-100% success rate when checked by biopsy-confirmation, only by smelling patient’s breath. This was also after only a few weeks of training.
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 19, 2015 5:50:55 AM

Facts You Might Not Know About Classic ’80s Films
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Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
50. In the early drafts of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Yoda was named Buffy.
51. The reason Han Solo was frozen in carbonite was because Harrison Ford had not signed on to do the third film (Return of the Jedi). Had Ford not agreed to do the third film, the carbonite would’ve been used as a way to kill off the character.
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Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
52. Originally Yoda was not intended to appear in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, but after Lucas consulted with a child psychologist he decided to include the character so that he could confirm the fact that Darth Vader really was Luke’s father.
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The Goonies
53. During the filming of The Goonies, Jeff Cohen (Chunk) came down with a case of the chicken pox; he was so scared he was going to be replaced that he secretly showed up to work sick, and his chicken pox are visible during the iconic “Truffle Shuffle” scene.
54. The pirate ship that is seen in The Goonies was real. The film’s director, Richard Donner, did not allow the cast to see it in advance in order to be able to get genuine reactions from them during filming.
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Stand by Me
55. The cigarettes the boys smoked in Stand by Me were made out of cabbage leaves.
56. Stand by Me is closely associated with director Rob Reiner, but he actually wasn’t the original director attached to the film. The film was supposed to be directed by British director Adrian Lyne, but he ran way behind schedule on 9½ Weeks and producers asked Reiner to step in at the last minute.
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American Gigolo
57. Richard Gere took the role of Julian Kaye in American Gigolo two weeks before production started, after John Travolta (who was originally tied to the role) dropped out.
58. Christopher Reeve was who producers first had in mind for the role of Julian Kaye. He turned down a million dollars to play the role.
59. American Gigolo launched then-unknown fashion designer Giorgio Armani’s career — Armani provided Julian Kaye’s (Gere) entire wardrobe. Armani’s involvement with the film came after Travolta’s management suggested they use him to style the film.
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Heathers
60. Jennifer Connelly and Justine Bateman were the original choices to play Veronica in Heathers, the role that eventually went to Winona Ryder.
61. Brad Pitt was turned down for the role of JD (the role that eventually went to Christian Slater) because he looked “too nice.”
62. The original intended ending for Heathers was much, much darker. The scene featured Veronica committing suicide after she murders JD.
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Gremlins
63. In the original script for Gremlins, Gizmo was supposed to be the villain, turning into the gremlin Stripe and becoming the leader of the gremlin pack. Steven Spielberg (who produced the film) suggested they change that plot point because he felt Gizmo was cute and audiences would want to see him throughout the film.
64. Gremlins and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (which also both happen to be Spielberg-produced films) were responsible for the creation of the PG-13 rating system. Both films, while rated PG, contained lots of violence, but not enough to warrant an R rating.
65. Tim Burton almost directed Gremlins, but was eventually passed over because he had never directed a feature length film.
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Batman
66. Michael Uslan, the producer of Batman, envisioned Jack Nicholson playing the Joker in 1980, after seeing a photo of him as Jack Torrance from The Shining in the New York Post. Ulsan took Wite-Out and markers, and sketched out the Joker over Nicholson’s face.
67. Fans protested when it was announced that Michael Keaton had landed the role of Bruce Wayne/Batman. Warner Bros., the studio behind the film, received 50,000 angry letters.
68. Dick Grayson/Robin was originally supposed to appear in a small scene, played by Kiefer Sutherland, but the scene was cut as the filmmakers felt he was irrelevant to the plot.
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ma-bell
All-Star Author Manitoba

Posts:675
Points:3,621,015
Joined:Jun 2002
Message Posted: Apr 18, 2015 11:55:28 PM

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 18, 2015 5:52:25 AM

Facts You Might Not Know About Classic ’80s Films
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Steel Magnolias
35. Before casting Julia Roberts in the role of Shelby in Steel Magnolias, producers considered both Winona Ryder and Meg Ryan. In fact Ryan was attached to the role until she dropped out to star in When Harry Met Sally.
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When Harry Met Sally
36. In the first draft of the screenplay for When Harry Met Sally, Harry and Sally didn’t end up together. Nora Ephron, who wrote the screenplay, felt it was more realistic.
37. The movie could’ve been cast completely differently; first choice Albert Brooks turned down the role of Harry, while Molly Ringwald turned down the role of Sally.
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The Karate Kid
38. Pat Morita was originally turned down for the role of Mr. Miyagi in The Karate Kid, because producers felt audiences wouldn’t be able to separate him from his comedic character Arnold on Happy Days.
39. Before casting Ralph Macchio as Daniel LaRusso, the role was turned down by Charlie Sheen.
40. While Ralph Macchio might have looked liked a scrawny baby-faced teenager, he was in fact 22 years old (he was born in 1961) when he filmed The Karate Kid.
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Three Men and a Baby
41. Three Men and a Baby is actually a remake of a 1985 French film, 3 hommes et un couffin (Three Men and a Cradle).
42. There was/is a longstanding urban legend that the ghost of a boy who died in the apartment where Three Men and Baby was filmed appears in the film. The “ghost” is actually a cardboard cutout of Ted Danson’s character (which can be seen earlier in the film). Also, the apartment seen in the film was actually a set.
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Fast Times at Ridgemont High
43. Vans became a national shoe brand after Sean Penn’s character in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Jeff Spicloi, was seen wearing the iconic checkerboard sneakers.
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Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
44. In the original cut of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Ferris had two more younger siblings, aside from Jeannie. They were completely edited out from the final cut of the film.
45. While Ferris Bueller was set in Chicago, the home where Ferris and his family lived was actually located in Long Beach, Calif. To make the house look like it was located in Illinois, the production crew removed palm trees and created special facades to make eucalyptus trees look like pine trees.
46. Ben Stein’s classic economics lecture scene was completely improvised and done in one take.
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The Princess Bride
47. The Princess Bride’s director, Rob Reiner, auditioned over 500 women for the role of Buttercup, including Courtney Cox, Meg Ryan, and Uma Thurman, before eventually casting Robin Wright.
48. Robin Wright, who is originally from Texas, had a near perfect British accent and needed very little vocal coaching. Penn picked up her accent from listening to her father, who was from England, speak.
49. Peter Falk, who played the grandpa/narrator, thought he was too young AT AGE 60 to be Fred Savage’s grandfather.

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ma-bell
All-Star Author Manitoba

Posts:675
Points:3,621,015
Joined:Jun 2002
Message Posted: Apr 16, 2015 11:56:49 PM


The Lawyer says to the wealthy art collector tycoon. "I have some good news and I have some bad news."

The Tycoon replies, "I've had an awful day, let's hear the good news first."

The lawyer says, "Well, your wife invested $5,000 in two pictures this week that she feels are worth a minimum of $2-3 million dollars."

The tycoon replies enthusiastically, "Well done, very good news indeed! You've made my day. Now what's the bad news?"

The lawyer answers, "The pictures are of you with your secretary."
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ma-bell
All-Star Author Manitoba

Posts:675
Points:3,621,015
Joined:Jun 2002
Message Posted: Apr 16, 2015 10:15:25 AM

An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the cinema. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."



The old man didn't budge.



The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."



Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing.



The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old dishevelled man, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police.



The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked: "All right buddy what's your name?"



"Fred," the old man moaned.



"Where you from, Fred?" asked the police officer.



With a terrible grunt in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied... ... "The balcony.
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 16, 2015 5:45:50 AM

Facts You Might Not Know About Classic ’80s Films
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Pretty in Pink
20. Robert Downey Jr. was considered for the role of Duckie in Pretty in Pink.
21. In the original ending to Pretty in Pink, Andie (Molly Ringwald) and Duckie (Jon Cryer) ended up together. Test audiences hated it, so the ending was reshot with Andie winding up with Blane (Andrew McCarthy).
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E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
22. Steven Spielberg’s original concept for E.T. was the story of a family that is terrorized in their home by five aliens.
23. The candy E.T. eats was supposed to be M&M’s, but Mars (M&M’s manufacturer) turned down Spielberg’s request to use it in the film. Spielberg then approached Hershey’s, who allowed him to use its Reese’s Pieces (which, of course, had its sales skyrocket after the release of the film).
24. Harrison Ford’s cameo as Elliott’s principal was cut from the film.
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Back to the Future
25. Disney rejected the script for Back to the Future because of the incestuous storyline involving Marty McFly’s mother falling in love with him.
26. Eric Stoltz was originally cast as Marty (when the producers’ first choice Michael J. Fox was unavailable due to filming commitments on his TV show, Family Ties). He filmed five weeks worth of footage before he was let go and replaced with Fox, who the producers were able to get after working out a deal with the Family Ties producers.
27. Doc Brown was originally supposed to have a pet chimpanzee, not a dog.
28. The iconic DeLorean time machine was originally envisioned as a time travel chamber that resembled a refrigerator.
29. In Ronald Reagan’s 1986 State of the Union Address, he quoted the classic last lines from the film, “Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
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Beverly Hills Cop
30. Both Mickey Rourke and Sylvester Stallone turned down the role of Axel Foley in Beverly Hills Cop before it eventually went to Eddie Murphy.
31. Murphy was only 23 years old when the film was released.
32. Beverly Hills Cop wasn’t only the highest grossing film of 1984, it was also the highest-grossing R-rated movie of all time, until The Matrix Reloaded kicked it out of the top spot in 2003.
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Terms of Endearment
33. After Burt Reynolds turned down the role of Garrett Breedlove in Terms of Endearment, the role then went to Jack Nicholson, who went on win the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his performance.
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The Color Purple
34. It was Quincy Jones who suggested that Oprah Winfrey play the role of Sofia in The Color Purple. Jones discovered the then-unknown Winfrey after catching her on a local TV show she was hosting, A.M. Chicago, while on a trip to Chicago.
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ma-bell
All-Star Author Manitoba

Posts:675
Points:3,621,015
Joined:Jun 2002
Message Posted: Apr 15, 2015 4:56:47 PM

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a
dinner with her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip
to the pharmacist to get some condoms.. He tells the pharmacist it's his
first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the
boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like
to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his
girlfriend at the door.

"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's
parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes,
and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over
and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious..'

The boy turns, and whispers back,

'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'
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ma-bell
All-Star Author Manitoba

Posts:675
Points:3,621,015
Joined:Jun 2002
Message Posted: Apr 14, 2015 10:03:37 PM

Susie Lee done fell in love;
She planned to mary Joe.
She was so happy bout it all
She told her Pappy so.

Pappy told her, Susie gal,
You'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon yo Ma don't know,
But Joe is yo half brother.

So Susie put aside her Joe
and planned to marry will.
But after telling Pappy this,
He said, "there's trouble still.

You can't marry Will, my gal,
And please don't tell yo mother..
But will and Joe and several Mo
I know is yo half brother.

But Mama knew and said, my child,
Just do what makes yo happy.
Marry Will or Marry Joe.
Yo ain't no kin to Pappy.
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ma-bell
All-Star Author Manitoba

Posts:675
Points:3,621,015
Joined:Jun 2002
Message Posted: Apr 14, 2015 9:55:03 PM





Two little old ladies, Connie & Evelyn were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. The short one, Connie, leaned over and said, 'Life is so boring. We never have any fun anymore. For $10.00 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid, boring flower show!'

'You're on!' said Evelyn, holding up a $10.00 bill.

So Connie slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked(as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show.. Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling. Finally, the smiling Connie came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering, clapping crowd.

'What happened?' asked Evelyn.

'I won $1,000 as 1st prize for 'Best Dried Arrangement.. !'

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile !
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 14, 2015 4:42:37 AM

Facts You Might Not Know About Classic ’80s Films
.
.
Ghostbusters
01. Dan Aykroyd was inspired to write Ghostbusters due to his great-grandfather, grandfather, and father all having a big interest in the paranormal.
02. John Belushi was originally envisioned to play the role of Peter Venkman, but he died before production started.
03. The movie did pay tribute to Belushi by basing the character of Slimer on him.
04. Eddie Murphy turned down the role of Winston in Ghostbusters to star in Beverly Hills Cop.
05. The film’s director, Ivan Reitman, voiced both Slimer and Zuul.
06. Iconic porn star Ron Jeremy makes a cameo as an extra in the crowd.
.
Labyrinth
07. Helena Bonham Carter, Sarah Jessica Parker, Jane Krakowski, Laura Dern, and Marisa Tomei all auditioned for the role of Sarah in Labyrinth.
08. Jareth’s (David Bowie) iconic bulge was an intentional costume design choice; they wanted to make him a young girl’s idea of a pop star.
09. Jareth’s face is hidden throughout seven scenes.
10. Labyrinth was the final film Jim Henson directed before his untimely death.
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Sixteen Candles
11. John Hughes was inspired to write Sixteen Candles after he received a headshot of Molly Ringwald.
12. Viggo Mortensen was almost cast as Jake Ryan.
13. The cake in the iconic final scene was made out of cardboard.
.
The Breakfast Club
14. The original title for The Breakfast Club was Detention.
15. John Cusack was almost cast in the role of Bender before it eventually went to Judd Nelson.
16. The library where the gang serves detention in the film was actually a converted high school gymnasium.
17. Over 10,000 books were used to set-dress the library. The books were donated by the Chicago Public Library.
18. Anthony Michael Hall’s real-life mother and sister play his character Brian’s mother and sister in the film.
19. John Hughes made a cameo at the end of The Breakfast Club; he played Brian’s father.
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ma-bell
All-Star Author Manitoba

Posts:675
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Message Posted: Apr 13, 2015 9:28:08 AM

GB'S new point plan is not good for me !!!!
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chocolateflash
Champion Author Las Vegas

Posts:16,733
Points:3,213,175
Joined:Apr 2005
Message Posted: Apr 12, 2015 3:03:37 PM

GB's new point plan.
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 11, 2015 5:48:36 AM

April 11 is … Eight-Track Tape Day
.
.
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London.
Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 9, 2015 5:54:15 AM

Love
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01. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
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02. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
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03. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
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04. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.
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05. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
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06. You mean the world to someone.
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07. If not for you, someone may not be living.
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08. You are special and unique.
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09. Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.
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10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
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11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
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12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won’t get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
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13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
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14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
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15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 8, 2015 5:44:20 AM

April 8 is … All Is Ours Day
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Tasty Facts About Easter Candy
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01. Jelly beans were invented when some innovative confectioner decided to try encasing the gummy Middle Eastern candy Turkish Delight inside the hard sugar coating of Jordan almonds.
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02. Jelly beans first became associated with Easter at some point in the 1930s, due to their egg-like shape.
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03. Jelly beans came into prominence during the Civil War, when Boston-based candy maker William Schrafft began urged people to send his product to dispatched Union soldiers.
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04. Jelly Belly Candy Company created its gourmet blueberry jelly bean specifically for U.S. President Ronald Reagan, who became addicted to the candy during the process of quitting cigarettes.
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05. About 16 billion jelly beans are produced for the Easter season every year.
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06. Marshmallow Peeps used to be made by hand, an endeavor that took about 27 hours from start to finish. Once the process was automated in the early ’50s, that time was cut down to six minutes.
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07. About 5.5 million Peeps are made every day at the Just Born factory in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. About 2 billion of them were made in 2014.
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08. Peeps used to have wings, but they slowed down the automated process. So, starting in 1955, flightless Peeps became the norm.
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09. The sap of the marsh-mallow plant was first used to make a dessert in ancient Egypt, where it was mixed with nuts and honey. Though it probably not spongey like the modern marshmallow.
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10. Cadbury UK’s Birmingham factory produces approximately 1.5 million Creme Eggs every day. Their combined weight is that of six elephants.
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11. Cadbury Creme Eggs are sold from the beginning of the new year until Easter. When Cadbury made them available year-round in the 1980's, sales actually dropped.
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12. Candy-filled chocolate eggs first hit the market back in 1923, but it wasn’t until 1963 that Creme Eggs, as we know them today were introduced. Eight years later, they began to be marketed as Cadbury Creme Eggs.
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13. About 90 million chocolate bunnies are cast for Easter every year.
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14. Roughly 70 percent of all candy purchased for Easter is chocolate.
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15. The Easter Egg has its origins in the pagan tradition of exchanging eggs during spring, as symbols of fertility and rebirth.
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16. Three-quarters of Americans prefer to gnaw the ears off their chocolate bunnies before moving on to the rest of the body.
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17. The folkloric idea of the Easter Bunny—a rabbit that brings colored eggs and candy to children—was originated by German Lutherans several hundred years ago.
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18. Chocolate eggs were originally produced for Easter in Germany during the 19th Century, and were probably solid, as candy molds were still being perfected.
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19. The largest chocolate Easter egg ever made was 25 feet high and weighed 9,000 pounds. It was filled with marshmallow and an internal steel frame.
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20. A portrait of Ronald Reagan, crafted from 10,000 jelly beans, is displayed in the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, California.
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21. Easter is the second-biggest day of the year for candy consumption, beaten out only by Halloween.
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 6, 2015 5:48:48 AM

April 6 is … Sorry Charlie Day More Info on Sorry Charlie Day
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.
Just got back from my mate's funeral.
He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball.
It was a lovely service.
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ladidaCA
Champion Author Orange County

Posts:10,544
Points:1,807,270
Joined:Sep 2010
Message Posted: Apr 5, 2015 5:55:20 PM

What is invisible and smells like a carrot?
a bunny fart
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 5, 2015 5:46:03 AM

April 5 is … Go For Broke Day
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My neighbour knocked on my door at 2.30am this morning, can you believe that, 2.30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 4, 2015 5:25:12 AM

April 4 is … Tell-A-Lie Day
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 3, 2015 7:50:48 AM

April 3 is … Tweed Day and Don’t Go To Work Unless It’s Fun Day
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 2, 2015 6:16:38 AM

April 2 is … National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day
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Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Apr 1, 2015 6:34:10 AM

NakedDriver that's a great joke.
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April 1 is … One Cent Day
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I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.
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NakedDriver
Champion Author Des Moines

Posts:19,937
Points:3,314,700
Joined:Oct 2004
Message Posted: Apr 1, 2015 3:32:40 AM

ə happy april fool’s day!
do you know why so many people are so tired today?
because they’ve just been through a 31-day march! ə
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Mar 31, 2015 5:35:20 AM

March 31 is … Bunsen Burner Day and National Clams On The Half Shell Day
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.
A husband went to the sheriff’s department to report that his wife was missing.
Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.
Sergeant: What is her height?
Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sergeant: Weight?
Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant: Color of eyes?
Husband: Never noticed.
Sergeant: Color of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown.
Sergeant: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been a skirt or shorts. I don’t remember exactly.
Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my truck.
Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?
Husband: Brand new 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission.
It has a custom matching white cover for the bed.
Custom leather seats and “Bubba” floor mats.
Trailering package with gold hitch.
DVD with navigation, 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, and four power outlets.
Added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins.
Wife put a small scratch on the drivers door.
At this point the husband started choking up.
Sergeant: Don’t worry buddy. We’ll find your truck.
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Mar 30, 2015 5:46:39 AM

March 30 is … I Am In Control Day
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ma-bell
All-Star Author Manitoba

Posts:675
Points:3,621,015
Joined:Jun 2002
Message Posted: Mar 29, 2015 1:43:18 PM

I was sitting with the computer the other day drafting my will and I called out to my wife,

"WHEN I DIE I'M GOING TO LEAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU, LOVE!"

SHE SHOUTED BACK "YOU ALREADY DO, YOU LAZY BASTARD!!
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Mar 29, 2015 5:51:55 AM

God Created Canada
On the sixth day, God turned to Archangel Gabriel and said, "Today I am going to create a land called Canada.
It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty.
It shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs over-looking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon."
God continued, "I shall make the land rich in resources so as to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, and they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth."
"But Lord," asked Gabriel, "don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians??"
"Not really," replied God.. "Just wait and see the winters I'm going to give them!"
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Mar 27, 2015 5:33:26 AM

Thx 4 all the good laffs.
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March 27 is … National “Joe” Day More Info on National “Joe” Day
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.
We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.

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ma-bell
All-Star Author Manitoba

Posts:675
Points:3,621,015
Joined:Jun 2002
Message Posted: Mar 26, 2015 11:32:22 PM

To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own, grandchildren,
nieces, nephews, or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was 'DON'T! '

'Don't what ?' Adam replied.

'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.' God said.

'Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! '
' No Way ! '
'Yes way! '

'Do NOT eat the fruit! ' said God. 'Why? '

'Because I am your Father and I said so ! ' God replied, wondering
why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children
having an apple break and He was ticked!
'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? ' God asked. 'Uh huh,' Adam replied.

'Then why did you? ' said the Father.

'I don't know,' said Eve.
'She started it! ' Adam said.

'Did not ! '
'Did too! '
'DID NOT! '

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
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ma-bell
All-Star Author Manitoba

Posts:675
Points:3,621,015
Joined:Jun 2002
Message Posted: Mar 26, 2015 10:19:40 PM

Diplomacy is the art of telling
people to go to hell in such a
way they ask for directions.
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jdhelm
Champion Author Iowa

Posts:17,900
Points:2,065,615
Joined:Dec 2009
Message Posted: Mar 26, 2015 12:34:46 PM

I got a new stick deodorant today.
The instructions said, "Remove cap and push up bottom.
I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.
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jdhelm
Champion Author Iowa

Posts:17,900
Points:2,065,615
Joined:Dec 2009
Message Posted: Mar 26, 2015 12:31:48 PM

Personalities, a view from inside the eggshell, as revealed by their answers to an age-old dilemma: Why did the chicken cross the road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side' Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2010. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
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ma-bell
All-Star Author Manitoba

Posts:675
Points:3,621,015
Joined:Jun 2002
Message Posted: Mar 25, 2015 11:38:46 PM

A good speech should be like a
women's skirt; long enough to
cover the subject and short
enough to create interest.
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Mar 25, 2015 6:04:59 AM

March 25 is … Pecan Day and Waffle Day
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Suzysnowflake
Champion Author New Jersey

Posts:24,695
Points:2,212,375
Joined:Aug 2009
Message Posted: Mar 24, 2015 11:02:37 AM

Ss
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Suzysnowflake
Champion Author New Jersey

Posts:24,695
Points:2,212,375
Joined:Aug 2009
Message Posted: Mar 24, 2015 11:02:27 AM

Ss
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Suzysnowflake
Champion Author New Jersey

Posts:24,695
Points:2,212,375
Joined:Aug 2009
Message Posted: Mar 24, 2015 11:02:20 AM

Ss
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Suzysnowflake
Champion Author New Jersey

Posts:24,695
Points:2,212,375
Joined:Aug 2009
Message Posted: Mar 24, 2015 11:02:11 AM

Ss
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Mar 24, 2015 5:39:06 AM



Are you smarter than a Cat?
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ma-bell
All-Star Author Manitoba

Posts:675
Points:3,621,015
Joined:Jun 2002
Message Posted: Mar 24, 2015 12:35:52 AM

Where there's a will, I
want to be in it.
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Mar 22, 2015 5:46:17 AM

Truths That Make You Stronger
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Life is not easy. —“ Hard work makes people lucky —“ it’s the stuff that brings dreams to reality. So start every morning ready to run farther than you did yesterday and fight harder than you ever have before.
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You will fail sometimes. —“ The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. So get out there and do something! Either you succeed or you learn a vital lesson.
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Right now, there’s a lot you don’t know. —“ The day you stop learning is the day you stop living. Embrace new information, think about it and use it to advance yourself.
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There may not be a tomorrow. —“ Not for everyone. Right now, someone on Earth is planning something for tomorrow without realizing they’re going to die today. This is sad but true. So spend your time wisely today and pause long enough to appreciate it.
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There’s a lot you can’t control. —“ Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control.
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Information is not true knowledge. —“ Knowledge comes from experience. You can discuss a task a hundred times, but these discussions will only give you a philosophical understanding. You must experience a task firsthand to truly know it.
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You can’t be successful without providing value. —“ Don’t waste your time trying to be successful, spend your time creating value. When you’re valuable to the world around you, you will be successful.
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Someone else will always have more than you. —“ Whether it’s money, friends or magic beans that you’re collecting, there will always be someone who has more than you. But remember, it’s not how many you have, it’s how passionate you are about collecting them. It’s all about the journey.
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You can’t change the past. —“ As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” You can’t change what happened, but you can change how you react to it.
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The only person who can make you happy is you. —“ The root of your happiness comes from your relationship with yourself. Sure external entities can have fleeting effects on your mood, but in the long run nothing matters more than how you feel about who you are on the inside.
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There will always be people who don’t like you. —“ You can’t be everything to everyone. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who thinks differently. So concentrate on doing what you know in your heart is right. What others think and say about you isn’t all that important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.
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You won’t always get what you want. —“ As Mick Jagger once said, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you might find you get what you need.” Look around. Appreciate the things you have right now. Many people aren’t so lucky.
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In life, you get what you put in. —“ If you want love, give love. If you want friends, be friendly. If you want money, provide value. It really is this simple.
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Good friends will come and go. —“ Most of your high school friends won’t be a part of your college life. Most of your college friends won’t be a part of your 20-something professional life. Most of your 20-something friends won’t be there when your spouse and you bring your second child into the world. But some friends will stick. And it’s these friends —“ the ones who transcend time with you —“ who matter.
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Doing the same exact thing every day hinders self growth. —“ If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Growth happens when you change things —“ when you try new things —“ when you stretch beyond your comfort zone.
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You will never feel 100% ready for something new. —“ Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means you won’t feel totally comfortable or ready for it.
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WSpaceport
Champion Author California

Posts:16,841
Points:3,602,635
Joined:Mar 2005
Message Posted: Mar 21, 2015 5:57:14 PM

Information from a very wise man.

No dictionary has ever been able to satisfactorily define the difference between "complete" and "finished." However, during a recent linguistic conference, held in London, England, and attended by some of the best linguists in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese linguist, was the presenter when he was asked to make that very distinction.

The question put to him by a colleague in the erudite audience was this: "Some say there is no difference between 'complete' and 'finished.' Please explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand."

Mr. Balgobin's response: " When you marry the right woman, you are 'complete.' If you marry the wrong woman, you are 'finished.' And, if the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are 'completely finished.' "

His answer received a five minute standing ovation.

[Edited by: WSpaceport at 3/21/2015 5:57:54 PM EST]
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Mar 21, 2015 5:55:39 AM

Just How Big is Walmart?
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01. At Wal-Mart, Americans spend $36,000,000 every hour of every day.
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02. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!
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03. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.
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04. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.
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05. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people and is the largest private employer, and most can't speak English.
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06. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.
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07. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger & Safeway combined, keep in mind they did this in only 15 years.
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08. During this same period, 31 Supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.
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09. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.
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10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had 5 years ago.
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11. This year, 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur At a Wal-Mart store. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 billion.)
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12. 90% of all Americans live within 15 miles of a Wal-Mart.
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13. The value of product for Wal-Mart passing through the port of San Diego each year is a larger sum than 93% of ALL countries Gross National Product (GNP) and that is only ONE port one way. That’s how Wal-Mart gets it's stuff.
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14. Of the 1.6 million employees, only 1.2% make a living above the poverty level.
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15. Wal-Mart's head office is located and centralized in Bentonville. Due to this fact, there are more millionaires per square mile there than any place on earth.
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16. The official U.S. Government position is that Wal-Mart's prices are no lower than anyone else's when compared to a typical families weekly purchases. That's the view of the statisticians at the Bureau Of Labor Statistics (BLS) responsible for calculating the Consumer Price Index (CPI).
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17. 92% of everything Wal-Mart sells comes from China.
Another 4% comes from Chinese owned companies in the U.S. Or in 3rd world countries.
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18. Wal-Mart and MOST large companies, take out life insurance on it’s employees, without their knowing. If an employee dies, ALL the insurance moneys go to the companies. Example - An employee making $18,000 per year, dies, and the company might make as much as $1 million. Most often these moneys, coming from what is commonly referred to as "Dead Peasant Life Insurance Policies", is paid out to executives as bonuses.
(a common practice, unknown by the average consumer).
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19. Wal-Mart now averages a "profit" (not sales) of $36 billion per year.
.
20. If we closed all the Wal-Mart stores would China go bankrupt?


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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Mar 20, 2015 5:37:11 AM

March 20 is … Proposal Day and Festival Of Extraterrestrial Abductions Day
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A little girl asked her father, "How did the human race start?"
The father answered, "God made Adam and Eve, they had children and so all mankind was made."
Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.
The mother answered: "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her father and said,
"Dad, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Mom said they developed from monkeys?"
The father answered, "It is very simple.
I told you about my side of the family and your mother told you about hers."
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Hamish
Champion Author Ontario

Posts:24,588
Points:2,469,830
Joined:May 2003
Message Posted: Mar 19, 2015 5:08:29 AM

The wife has been missing a week now.
Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
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