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Author Topic: ol' geezer's club Back to Topics
cheapmonkee

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Portland

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Message Posted: Jul 5, 2005 9:30:10 PM

Welcome to the club. Even you young pups can stop on by as long as you mind your manners. There may be snow on the roof but there's a fire that ol' diablo would covet in the furnace so watch out!
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 23, 2014 8:26:09 PM

Chris I can see us dancing now, do you like to Salsa or Tango? AWH poor wacky he's confused by a pair of Underwear, here have a slug of this! Now how about the party fella's! Will there be any apple bobbin or spin the bottle or any other games any body can speak up! BG calm down honey but a lady never tell it all don't ya know! Okay some one pass me a glass so I can have some hootch with Geezer we have to plan our attack for the party!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 23, 2014 10:13:33 AM

Good Morning Geezers

geezer, how 'bout women's undies?? Elvira's wearin' that H O T dress and I have no idea if she's wearin' undies, but if she is, they're..........my mind's bogglin', I lost my train of thought!

Pass the jug, Chris. I've gotta straighten out my brainwaves!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 23, 2014 9:28:01 AM

Well, Whack-a-doodle, it's because they go under a pair of pants.
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wackiness
Champion Author San Bernardino

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Message Posted: Oct 23, 2014 6:00:29 AM

Adding to the last post.

A pair of undies is considered a pair WHY?
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wackiness
Champion Author San Bernardino

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Message Posted: Oct 23, 2014 1:12:43 AM

Have a question

Why is it one pair of undies is considered not
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Oct 23, 2014 12:39:41 AM

Elvira, do I dance? Wah wah a-Watusi! Shoo-bop, shoo-bop! Chubby Checker was my next door neighbor!
Ee-yah twist!
Baby, baby twist!
Ooh yeah, just like this!
Come on little miss and do the twist!
Ouch! Ouch! Ooh! I heard a vertebra snap just then!
MEDIC!!
Maybe some hooch will help.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 22, 2014 8:36:24 PM

HELLO BOYS! ELVIRA HERE CHUCKS WITH REACTIONS LIKE THAT i'LL HAVE TO DRESS UP MORE OFTEN! Why wait for the party, lets get jiggy! Bg are you ready lets dance, hey geezer play us a tune your next, and I can't forget Chris do you dance? Ahh you guys are so sweet, just for that I'll cut the lawn and make it look like a golf course a sip at every sand trap and a double for the hole in one. I better get to cooking more mash and I'll even make my famous Toll House Brownies. Some one please pass me the jug I'm powerful thirsty now. Blue Moon la la la la
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 22, 2014 7:46:43 PM

Well, Good Evening Geezers

My, My, but you are lookin' positively H O T, Elvira! I do believe I'd like to share that dance with ya, that you were talking about! Oh, we have ta wait for the party??? Rats, I was hopin' for a preview.........

Here's the jug, Chris. Pass it back with enough left for me to wet my whistle!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Oct 22, 2014 10:51:57 AM

Good morning, geezers and....and.... Well! HELLO there, Elvira! Nice dress!
Geezer, I didn't know we even HAD a lawn!
Hey Dudley. Happy 50th, you old codger! I could call some of my underwear, old codgers too. They used to have elastic in the waistband. Imagine that.
I think I'll dress up as Dark-Wing duck. Can I bring my cousin, Daffy?
BJ, pass the hard stuff, will ya?
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 22, 2014 9:25:36 AM

BG, please don't go as "The Great Commando" like you did last year. The kids giggled themselves sick an' it made a mess out on the lawn.

Speakin' of the lawn, why haven't we ever mowed it?
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 21, 2014 8:22:56 PM

Dudley happy birthday my friend there's a reason to celebrate if you need one 50 your still a baby my friend here have a snort of this! Geezer what on earth are you painting that your gonna wear, here take a sip of this! I sip and a slurp finished my out fit today guys a slit on each side and low cut front I think I could win something with this costume Hmm maybe a cold or a ticket from the police! Have a good night my friends!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 21, 2014 10:05:26 AM

Howdy Geezers

I'm not wearing a special costume to the upcoming Ball. I figger I'll just dress myself without Mrs BG's guidance and let her chortle at the results.

Pass the jug. I'm gonna celebrate Dudley's 50th!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 21, 2014 9:21:01 AM

I have my costume almost ready, Magatha. I just need to put another coat of paint on it.

Dudley, welcome to the clubhouse. Here, have a jug of "Half Century Special." Uh, is Nell with you?
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DudleyDoRight
Champion Author Indianapolis

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Message Posted: Oct 20, 2014 10:10:58 PM

Turned 50 this year.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 20, 2014 11:22:01 AM

I'am now busy making my gown for the Halloeen Ball, I figure a slit up the sides will do the trick!:) Why mr. geezer I do declare, care to to dance? So I have been busy making some of that George Washington's sipping whiskey with the left over barley corn is getting hard to find, nothing else it will get our toes to tapping! BG I'm with geezer the drapes will add an awhsome touch. Geezer have you got your outfit together or are you having a brain hiccup? See you all later I have to go in back and take care of the still! Sip, slurp have one on me!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 20, 2014 10:26:45 AM

Elvira, eh? I think I just got a little wiggle...

I like the drapes idea, BG. Good thinkin'!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 20, 2014 10:12:41 AM

Good Morning Geezers

Elvira, huh? Sounds great to me!

Pass the jug. Chris and I need to reduce the Miracle Hooch reserves!
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 19, 2014 9:02:45 PM

Hello boys!:) BG I am no longer married but I definetly don't want to rile up the MRS LOL. A good ole slow dance never hurt anybody, and besides it will warm up your blood! Tucsonhomes let me know if you have prune juice if you want to dance make it a fast one I would not want to delay a future trip snicker snicker! Geezer I can work my magic and make the corn balls look like corn jugs good thinking chuckle chuckle your really thinking today! Throw out those rocking chairs guys and live a little!:) Can't wait for the party maybe I'll dress like ELVIRA!:)
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 19, 2014 10:11:46 AM

Good Sunday Morning To Y'all Geezers

Okay, Maggie, I could use a little stirrin' up, so I'll dance a long slow one with ya. Just tell yer hubby to leave the shotgun at home 'cause my missus would get real cranky if I had a dance with lead shot. An' we definitely don't wanna get her cranky!

Heck, geezer, we could just have the excess of Big Edna's bloomers be drapes at each end of the tunnel. That oughta boggle the rugrats' minds all by itself. Good thinkin'! The only problem is we gotta take them to a commercial laundromat 'cause none of our home wash machines are big enuf to handle them, and with the way she sweats, they'd have ta be laundered just so we could handle them.

Pass the jug. It's time to put all these heavy thoughts to rest!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 19, 2014 9:41:51 AM

Don't worry BG, we can use black plastic instead. No, wait! We can sew together three or four pair of Big Edna's old black bloomers and have the tunnel extend another four feet!

We don't do prune hooch any more, Tucson. When we did, we were fillin' our Ten Day Turtleneck Depends in five or six days and it got too expensive, not to mention messy.

Magster, if you can shape that caramel corn into little hooch jugs, we can use it. Whatchya think?
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 19, 2014 12:51:07 AM

Awh geezer ya take the fun out of my carmel corn, tucsonhomes I have a new hootch made with prune juice take a sip or two of this it will put you feeling right. And you BG at least you might feel a little something although it might shake up the old brain box a little and by then the slow dance would be over. Besides is this suppose to be a rockin chair club or are we allowed to move a little! Come on guys live a little wont cha!:)
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 18, 2014 12:25:29 PM

Howdy Geezers

Maggie, ya gotta be careful with that dancin' business. I kinda remember some of those slower dances from my youth, and the wild thoughts runnin' thru my brain as I clutched those wonderful female bodies close. Mebbe I should just nip and not dance 'cause I wouldn't wanna get into any trouble.

geezer, we'd have ta have a fund raiser to buy enuf shrink wrap fer yer tunnel. Cripes, they charge 12 dollars a foot for the stuff and I saw on yer plans that the tunnel would be 47 feet long with one 90 degree turn. For that $564 we can buy enuf corn to keep us supplied in Miracle Hooch for two years! 'sides, I really hate fund raisers..........

Prunes, Tucsonhomes????? Just take a couple o' pulls on this jug, and you'll never need prunes again!

Pass the jug. I gotta loosen things up a little!
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Tucsonhomes
All-Star Author Tucson

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Message Posted: Oct 18, 2014 11:04:30 AM

Ready for my prunes
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 18, 2014 8:36:40 AM

Corn balls? Why waste good squeezins' materials on sumpthin' to eat? Where's your priorities, woman? Sheesh.

Alright, I found all of Izzy's toupees, so I'll start stringin' them to be hanged later. BG, if you can get some of that shrink wrap stuff to make the entry tunnel, that'd be great. We still need sumpthin' more to scare the bejeezuz outta them little rugrats...
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 17, 2014 9:33:52 PM

Well you all have been talking but I don't hear any decisions being made! Now geezer we can't hand out vegies instead of candy , you can't break tradition! And you all have to show up at the dance in what ever your heart desires you to be on this special day. I made fresh carmel corn balls just for you adults and no booze in the other corn balls for the children! I expect to dance with each of you old pharts and then you can go back to yer hootch! And I wont take no for an answer,so you all better be ready nothing to fast, just a nice how-do-you-do! BG pass that jug and give me a squirt or two, here you can keep the ginzing jug! Chris what ever you wear I'm sure you will look just fine, and wear some shoes I don't want to step on yer toes. Oh who told you about the pumpkin patch now I have to change my hiding spot. Well guys sip slurp have a good one and remember times a ticking or jumping!:)
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 17, 2014 1:18:42 PM

Howdy Geezers

Heck, Chris, this stiff neck works pretty good for drinkin' hooch. I seems to slide down the ol' gullet easier. Mebbe this stiff neck ain't too bad!

I believe I'll dress up in a besotted old tramp outfit. That way I won't even have ta change clothes.

Pass the jug. I gotta test this new batch.....ta make sure it's safe for Chris!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 17, 2014 9:57:09 AM

How 'bout we hand out Brussels sprouts and turnips instead of candy this year?
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Oct 17, 2014 12:42:34 AM

Geezer. Last year, I tried sitting in a chair on the porch, dressed up as a scarecrow. I was gonna jump up and scare the little buggers. I fell asleep, and somebody stole my bib overalls! I could dress up as a scary pumpkin with a chain saw (sans the chain).

BJ, if it lasts longer than 4 hours, make sure you see your doctor, so no long term damage is done to your swallower! You don't want to miss your hooch sessions!

Tucson, quit sunning yourself, and get back in the clubhouse! We need a 4th for Euchre!

Maggie, are you still with us? Or have you gone to that "Great Pumpkin patch" in the sky?
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 16, 2014 10:18:28 AM

Them Viagree pills can be troublesome, BG. I take a quarter pill jes' so I don't pee on my shoes.

No zombie costume?? Well, you gotta come up with sumpthin' else.

I think we should make sumpthin' to scare the little candy baggers. Mebbe we make a tunnel of sorts to get to our front door, and hang a collection of Izzy's toupees from it. That'd scare the bejeezus outta me.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 16, 2014 9:55:37 AM

Good Morning Geezers

No zombie costume for me. I'm askairt of them!

I musta swallowed my viagra pill too slowly 'cause now I have a stiff neck.

Pass the jug. I gotta do some re-evaluatin'!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 15, 2014 8:14:44 AM

Chris, this geezer could use some shrinking. Not shrinkage, mind you, shrinking.

A little over two weeks to Halloween, folks. How are those zombie costumes comin'?
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Oct 14, 2014 10:57:16 PM

Tucson... Isn't that close to where Wyatt Earp was Sherriff? I can't believe he lived until 1929 and died in Los Angeles! Have a chug of hooch and sit a spell.

Geezer, we don't want to be on the riff-raft when they apply the shrink wrap, or it'll be "Honey, I shrunk the geezers!"

Maggie, have a sip of this tang hooch. Breathe deeply. Relax. You are getting sleeeeepy.

BJ, kind of sad, knowing another season has slipped by. Well, like you say, more time for hooch! Can't be all bad.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 14, 2014 6:57:36 PM

RAIN RAIN GO AWAY COME AGAIN SOME OTHER DAY! Nore rain but it feels muggy out here and its only 64 degrees. The dampness is killing my bones and I want to be outside and clean up the yard and burn the leaves, so all I can do right now is house work and work on the repair list for the inside of the house! OH well I can still sip my hootch !:)
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Tucsonhomes
All-Star Author Tucson

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Message Posted: Oct 14, 2014 5:34:53 PM

There's no snow here in Tucson, 90 today
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 14, 2014 4:20:12 PM

Hmmm...mebee we can make you a batch of Tang Hooch, Chris. It sounds horrendous, but ya never know.

BG, can we still party on Riff Raft until they put on the shrink wrap?
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 14, 2014 9:49:51 AM

Howdy Geezers

My river cruisin' season is over now that Riff Raft is sittin' on blocks in the boat storage yard........more time for Miracle Hooch!

Pass the jug. I gotta get started on this recreational pursuit!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Oct 13, 2014 1:18:57 PM

Happy Christopher Day, geezers! I done tweeted myself out yesterday. I think I'll engage in a drinking game of tang with the zombies (everybody knows zombies can't hold their tang)....
But first, a word from our sponsor...
TANG: The Drink of Choice Among Gemini Astronauts! Buzz says "I drink it everyday, even when I'm not in space!"
Back to the game...
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 13, 2014 9:29:47 AM

Good Morning Geezers

Zombie costumes for the big party? I shudder! Of course, that shudderin' could be brought on by copious quantities of hooch consumed............

Pass the jug. I thirst!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 12, 2014 7:09:19 PM

Chris, you oughta tweet that song...
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Oct 12, 2014 12:29:03 PM

Good afternoon geezergang. That nightcap put me to sleep bigtime!
Soup's the word, but the Trashmen (must have been around Thanksgiving), once said:
"A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, don't you know about the bird
Well, everybody's talking about the bird
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word".

[Edited by: Chris46 at 10/12/2014 12:29:24 PM EST]
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 12, 2014 9:14:44 AM

That is some good hooch, Mags. Only, I'm not so sure about the healthy part. Can you un-healthy it up a bit for the next batch?

Tucson, what are you wearin' to the Halloween party?
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Oct 11, 2014 8:25:45 PM

Me thinks you just thought of that, so you could have another sip. Lol... Nothing wrong with that. How about we use sippy cups, so when we weebol and fall down, we won't spill any elixir!
PS. Can I have a sip now?

[Edited by: Chris46 at 10/11/2014 8:26:50 PM EST]
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 11, 2014 8:23:15 PM

Hey geezer I have been thinking today, real hard how about we all dress like Zombies and even the Zombies won't bother us! Snicker snicker and a sip for me TaDa.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 10, 2014 11:43:39 AM

Hey geezer its worth a try, you can always learn new tricks, sip whew this batch turned out reallll goooood! You have to keep folks wondering and guessing just when they think they know all about you throw them a curve ball and watch their faces! Its just a little funny but hey it makes the day go sip!Hi there T Homes welcome to the club, here have a sip of this! That's a ginzing hootch and its very healthy for you and besides it taste soooo gooood! Maintroll enjoy them while you can, mine come over and we play baseball,kick ball, volley ball or squirt guns and water balloons ( we throw them at each other and we play baseball water balloons), In return I get help with the yard, raking, mowing, picking up dead branches etc. It is a chore to be with them because things are so different now, but they also show us how to look things up on the computer and even explain the games to my mother who is going on 83. She says she does not understand but the idea is to spend close quiet tim with their great grand-mother! I admit it is a lot of work and I am getting older too, but when they go home I do miss the little pharts but I do love my piece and quiet too! Here have a jug on me and enjoy life while we can! Hey Chris sounds like you are having fun with the zombies here taste this! Good hey love groucho marks what a hoot. Howdy BJ whaere have you been and what are you up too! Here have a few sips of this it will warm your innards!:)
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 10, 2014 9:09:08 AM

Class is way overrated, Pie. I lost the last remnants of mine when I was 24 years old. I lost a lot of things that year - my sanity, my self respect, my virginity. No, wait. The virginity was at 34. My memory...

Welcome T Homes. Pull up a floor and join the fun. You aren't a revenooer, are ya?
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Oct 10, 2014 12:44:30 AM

Congratulations, Tucsonhomes! "Cool" is the secret word! Duck drops down with $100 bill attached to feet, and Groucho blows cigar smoke on the contestants. Welcome to the ol' geezers club. Initiation being you have to chug a mini-jug w/o taking a breath!

Maintroll, just think positive! How long can three days be with the little buggers (bless their souls) anyway?

Geezer, the zombies are drooling over your bloody pinky fingers! They want to know if they come in dark chocolate also?

BJ, lets get plastered. Hand over the trowel.

Looks at clock... Ah, crap! I thought it was 12:44 PM!
:::Goes back to bed:::


[Edited by: Chris46 at 10/10/2014 12:46:51 AM EST]
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Tucsonhomes
All-Star Author Tucson

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Message Posted: Oct 9, 2014 9:58:58 PM

Cool
I think I qualify
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 9, 2014 9:15:58 PM

Hey geezer would it hurt to have a little class? Besides this tastes darn good, and we use the orange flavored liquer for our BBQ sauce and its the cats meow and its so much fun to make we get sauced on the sauce! Hi ya Maintroll how old are the grandies? BG i told them you would come out just fine but what do I know, have been making more ginzing hootch for the party
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Maintroll
Champion Author Lexington

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Message Posted: Oct 9, 2014 10:08:14 AM

I have zombies here right now in the form of two teenaged so called grandchildren, fortunately they will be leaving this weekend.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 9, 2014 9:48:34 AM

Good Morning Geezers

Hey, Wacky, nice of ya to drop in! Here, have a pull off this jug.....it's fresh since geezer just finished bottleing it four minutes ago.

I had my pinky up in the air last week when I went to a charity event at the Gastonia Old Folks Home. There were a number of comments that I looked fake and was puttin' on "airs". I don't believe I'll go through that humiliation again. Only Miracle Hooch from now on, except for the occasional specialty hooch that Maggie come up with.

Pass the jug. I'm gonna preview "Werewolf in London"!
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