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cheapmonkee

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Portland

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Message Posted: Jul 5, 2005 9:30:10 PM

Welcome to the club. Even you young pups can stop on by as long as you mind your manners. There may be snow on the roof but there's a fire that ol' diablo would covet in the furnace so watch out!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Apr 26, 2015 9:56:04 AM

good morning, everybody. lets all speak quietly now for geezers sake. I dug through my old toy box and I found my old pair of tin can walkie talkies with the string attached. maybe this will help geezer.

:::hands geezer a tin can::: THIS IS A TEST!!! HELLO GEEZER!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW!!! TESTING 1 2 3 4!!! HELLO??? CLAP YOUR HANDS IF YOU CAN HEAR THIS!!!

well, I don't know what else to try..... :::pondering::: hey geezer, tilt your head to one side. :::pours some "MIRACLE" hooch in ear canal:::

:::hands geezer a tin can again::: THIS IS A TEST!!! HELLO GEEZER!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW!!! TESTING 1 2 3 4!!! HELLO??? CLAP YOUR HANDS IF YOU CAN HEAR THIS!!!

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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Apr 26, 2015 9:45:08 AM

Good Sunday Morning Geezers!

Boy, that explodin' cigar really messed up geezer's hearin'(even more than it already was). I wonder if the back pressure through his sinuses during the explosion popped his eardrums backwards. Hmmmm, haveta explore that a bit more. In the meantime, we should all speak very quietly, 'cause that'll have geezer concentratin' on what we're sayin' and not feeling sorry for hisself over tinnitus. Lets have a drink.........;

Pass the jug. This new batch is really excellent!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 26, 2015 8:19:26 AM

SPEAK UP, MAGGIE. YOU'RE MUMBLIN. EVERYBODY'S MUMBLIN. CRAP, THE WHOLE WORLD IS MUMBLIN'. WASN'T THERE A SONG BY NAT KING COLE THAT MENTIONED MUMBLIN'? YEAH, "MUMBLIN ROSE."
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Apr 25, 2015 11:53:22 PM

What where are we, hey a new jug wow, Oh Geezer you look so handsome with your face cleaned and you combed your hair I didn't recognize you! Here BG try a swig of this it will warm your innerds. Hey Chris thanks so much for the jug your right this tastes really great!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Apr 25, 2015 11:44:02 PM

BJ, this is the best jug yet. 'course we say that for all the jugs!
Wake up Maggie! We just popped the top on a fresh jug!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Apr 25, 2015 12:06:14 PM

Howdy Geezers

Boy, I'm sure glad I don't smoke 'cause I won't be tempted by one of those cigars! I'll drink a little extra to make up for it.........

Pass the jug. Chris and I wanna initiate that jug of new hooch!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Apr 25, 2015 10:53:42 AM

Geezer, that shouldn't take you long, you only have one hair left and its sindged! Here, have a glass of hooch. Compliments of Maggie. Sure will be glad when the riff-raft is sea-worthy! What say ye, Captain BJ?
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 25, 2015 8:16:54 AM

WHAT??? I CAN'T HEAR YOU. THERES A VERY LOUD RINGIN' IN MY EARS FROM ALL THE EXPLODIN'. GOTTA GO WASH MY FACE AN' COMB MY HAIR.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Apr 24, 2015 11:49:11 PM

I can't believe it I rode in car 54 once or was it twice? Oh well I never got even a watch from da bums. Oh good the raft is out think I'll go see what she needs, oh look a jug drinks a few wow what a smooth oh everything is getting fuzzy, Chris is that you? G.ood stuff sit down sit a spell and have a drink on me! Geezer I heard that there was a loud noise over by you here sit baby and share a few slurp slurp oh excuse me let me pour you a glass! SZZZZZZZZrrrrrr
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Apr 24, 2015 9:45:43 AM

I stopped over at Car54's garage, and told them about the clock. They apologized. Said that was supposed to go to "Louis the Rat". They give me this box of cigars. Said enjoy. Here geezer, do the honors. :::Lights geezers cigar::: BOOM!!! Glad to meet you, Al Jolson! Uh, I'll be right back!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 24, 2015 8:53:10 AM

Hey look! Car54 dropped off a present. Hmmm....it's tickin'. I bet it's a real nice mantel clock.

::wrapper ripping sounds::

BOOOOOOM!

Aw, the clock is ruined.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Apr 24, 2015 6:35:53 AM

Howdy Geezers

I pulled the shrinkwrap off of Riff Raft yesterday and sure enuf, it's raining today. Cain't do the work I wanted to get started on, but we'll get everything done ASAP and get her feet wet! I'll leave the tunnel tour logistics to all of you 'cause I'm gonna get started on the day's drinkin'.

Pass the jug. Ya cain't drink all day if ya don't start in the morning!
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Apr 23, 2015 1:00:33 PM

Great idea on the cough medicine and I'll add on a sticker that sells good for clearing out the sinus's too! Great news the whole family is saving cough syrup bottles for us, and I only had to give up a few bottles of hootch for them to agree oh yeah a few threats now our cost will not be affected by that! Bg and Chris and geezer you guys are so smart, with yer knowledge and gifts of getting together to make money its easy for me to follow and come up with a few ideas too boot! Can't wait for this to happen and then a fishing trip to boot! Whoo Hoo can't wait I'll even make ya all a big bowl of shrimp Salad for our fishing trip! This one is a winner for sure if we can keep it on the down low!
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car54BC
Champion Author British Columbia

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Message Posted: Apr 23, 2015 10:02:05 AM

Present
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Apr 23, 2015 9:20:32 AM

Good Morning Geezers

Well, Okay, geezer. We'll have ta figger out a way to disguise the other tunnel entrances so the revenooers don't get suspicious and start sniffin' around. Yer a genius for recruitin' Maggie to be the tour hostess. She'll draw so many tourists we'll have plenty of bail money and other maintenance funds. I'm gonna drink whilst y'all figger out the logistics of this new tourist trap.

Pass the jug. I'm gonna soak my synapses!

[Edited by: BGJam at 4/23/2015 9:25:23 AM EST]
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 23, 2015 9:09:36 AM

BG, we'll only have a few of the tunnels on the tour. We'll keep the others our secret an' for the other purposes you mentioned.

Great ideas on the samplin' an' such, Mags. We gotta be careful not to give away our illegal activities, though. Mebbe sell the hooch as cough syrup, or sumptin' like that.

::cough, cough::

Time to take some medication.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Apr 22, 2015 1:37:40 PM

I would be so honored to be your cave guide to the tunnels, oh my we could give free samples ( small cups very small) and if they want more we could sell small bottles of hootch. That should raise enough money for the riff raft and some stink bait for the cat fish and what ever else we need to get the barge back out on the water! oh even get some sun bathing in how delightful just some peace and quiet and some good catfish. My mouth is watering just thinking about it! Chris great thinking on the tunnel guide best idea yet. We have been thinking about going to louisiana getting some of those crawdads, shrimp and catfish dinner, long ride but goooood food! Just the thought of all that fresh food and I'm ready to pack and ride out!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Apr 22, 2015 12:06:09 PM

Howdy geezers and our #1 geezerette! Boy that felt good to say that again! Yeah, there is a Mammoth Caves in KY, but its so far away from the clubhouse, who'd know?
Big Bertha's proctologist deserves a medal for bravery. A true hero! Going where no man has gone before and lived to tell about it!
Itching to get the riff-raft in the water! I just bought my fishing license. Used to be free, but now they charge geezers $10, cuz that's where the money is. Some young whippersnapper thought of that, and got an instant promotion by the State Department.
BJ, pass the hooch, its still free!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Apr 22, 2015 9:36:44 AM

Howdy Geezers

Welcome back Maggie. Yer a sight for our old sore eyes. Hold on a bit with the tunnel tour business. They're the only privicy we have and if the revenooers find out about them we'll be under constant scrutiny, and ya gotta remember, two of them, are our escape routes, if needed. We really don't want all that getting out to the public.

I'm lookin' at gettin' the shrink wrap off Riff Raft next week and getting some much needed maintenance done before splashing her. Everybody has the same idea and all the mechanics and boat wrights are heavily booked. I'm itchin' to get out on the river, but I gotta get her squared away first!

Pass the jug. A salute to Maggie's return!!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 22, 2015 9:19:58 AM

Magster!!! Where have you been, girl? It's been pretty boring around here without you. You missed our trip to Brazil. you missed a lot of other stuff, too, but my forgettery won't let me think of 'em.

Anyway, you're just in time for the Riff Raft bein' launched for the season an' our new tunnel tours. You sure would make a purty tunnel guide.

I dunno about the Mammoth Caves idear, Chris. Seems I've heard that name before. Either there's a Mammoth Cave somewhere else, or Big Bertha heard her proctologist use that term.
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Apr 21, 2015 11:40:44 PM

Great idea geezer! Charging a "tour" fee! We can call it... Mammoth Caves! Whatcha think?
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Apr 21, 2015 9:54:03 PM

Its revenoers time again! Can't believe they are still trying to catch you boys! Still using the hay bales cut out the cent put in the shine and cover it back up with more hay, they ride right past our shine every time! Modern technology can't fine it either, besides its fun watching them ride around scratching their heads looking hard for it!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 21, 2015 9:04:14 AM

I guess that explains the echos I hear under the outhouse, BG. Is that Tunnel 2 under there?

Hey, mebbe we can give tours of some of the tunnels to raise more money for our defense an' bail fund. Whatchya think?
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Apr 21, 2015 9:02:06 AM

:::leads Elmer in on a leash:::
Howdy guys. Everybody knows you have to have a mule for the trolley cars. No 'lectricity, you know. His name is Elmer. He likes corn cobs. So, we now have a way to get rid of all those extra corn cobs we been stacking in the outhouse for later use. Don't want those revenooers suspecting anything. Let me sample the latest jug to make sure its aged.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Apr 20, 2015 12:11:24 PM

Howdy Geezers

Party hardy....soup optional! C'mon, geezer, we've got 12 tunnels but only 4 of them are in current use The A and C tunnels are our emergency escape tunnels, going to the opposite sides of the "clubhouse estate". The B tunnel is for our emergency stash (and aging) of Miracle Hooch and the D tunnel is for misc storage. We had planned to use the E tunnel for our bomb shelter but we never got around to enlargin' the cavern to living quarter specs. F thru L are bein' held in reserve for various purposes and they cannot be discussed in this open forum.

Pass the jug. I gotta get my memories jump-started!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 20, 2015 10:05:49 AM

A party! Yeah! Are we gonna have soup, too?

So BG, where's A Tunnel? An' do we have other tunnels? My forgettery is kickin' in big time today.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Apr 19, 2015 12:57:18 PM

Good Day Geezers!

Naw, geezer, I brought my new night vision goggles and got to this stash before you even found the B tunnel. That barrel yer playin' with is one of the dummies we set up for the revenooers. Leave it there for now, cause we never know if those revenooers will raid us, and obviously, it worked with you! I've set up the mini trolley with all the jugs and we'll have 'em out to daylight in a jiffy. I did pull one of the corks and found this batch of Miracle Hooch to be absolutely superb!

Pass the jug. We're gonna have us a party!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 19, 2015 10:37:10 AM

::deep into B Tunnel::

Sheesh, it's so dark in here I can't see anything, even with the flashlight. Oh, I guess I should turn it on. Yowzer!! I think this is where the zombies moved to when we filled the basement with concrete. Lucky for us they don't like hooch. BG, help me with this barrel, will ya?

BG?

Oh crap, the zombies must have BG!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Apr 19, 2015 10:30:20 AM

:::Grabs lantern, and heads out in the darkness of night, to look for Geezer and BJ:::
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Apr 18, 2015 11:55:36 AM

What did we do with "B" tunnel? Did we file it alphabetically, or under "H" for hooch? Other tunnels? I dunno. I can't read code very well. BUT I do know I thirst! Pass that new jug over, BJ. How's it taste?
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 18, 2015 9:55:29 AM

I almost forgot about B Tunnel. You're right. That stash oughta be real ripe by now. Let's find out!

Uh, do we have other tunnels, too?
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Apr 18, 2015 8:06:04 AM

Howdy Geezers

Heck, the revenooers don't have their boats in the water yet. They're still tryin' to get their coffee stops established for the season, so we'll be good for the next month or so. They are bureaucrats, you know, and they cain't break their established habits. Do we still have that emergency supply of hooch in the "B" tunnel? I'm thinkin' that oughta be aged to perfection right about now, so.....

Pass that new jug. It's samplin' time!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Apr 17, 2015 10:04:22 AM

Hee hee. BJ, good code words there! Throw the revenuers off track. They'll never guess we have a portable still disguised as a port-a-potty! Who'd want to sample THAT water?? Hee hee. We can use the deep well water for now. Go about your business, and ifin you need an advance on the hooch coffer money, we'll write you a special check, labeled "Potty money".
On this date in 1790, our old founding geezer, Ben Franklin died. Let's raise a jug to old Ben!
Hip hip, hoorah!!

[Edited by: Chris46 at 4/17/2015 10:04:51 AM EST]
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Apr 17, 2015 9:36:35 AM

Howdy Geezers

Riff Raft is still wearin' her winter shrink wrap, but that will come off next week, in preparation for some major maintenance before we splash her. I gotta get some deck sections replaced, the water system upgraded, new radio installed and she needs a new coat of paint. I expect it will be two or three weeks before we can splash her, and then I haveta get her annual CG Auxiliary safety inspection before we take her out on the river. I've been puttin' off all these maintenance items, but NOW I must take care of them! In the mean time we can get by with our deep well source and filter process for the still water. Speaking of that.......

Pass the jug. It's time to sample this latest batch!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 17, 2015 9:14:45 AM

BG, when is the Riff Raft comin' out of hidin'? We gotta hit Whisky River an' search for the perfect water for our still.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Apr 16, 2015 9:44:49 AM

Howdy Geezers

Wait, don't poke Lotta yet. I wanna got out of her range!

Pass the jug. I gotta get the day's drinkin' started!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 16, 2015 9:23:10 AM

Heck Chris, I'll only be 98 in 2046. If you're not there I'll take over for ya.

Lotta ain't moved yet. Somebody poke her with a stick, but be careful. She's kinda ornery when she's woke up.
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Apr 15, 2015 12:05:26 PM

Geezer, Esmerelda went to live with her mother until the wedding. We both decided we needed more space. Actually, Esmerelda takes up more than her share of space, if you catch my drift.
So..... I've set the date for July 4, 2046. I don't think she looked real hard at the marriage proposal date.
I should be good and dead by then.
BJ, pass the hooch. I'm going to celebrate my pending marriage!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 15, 2015 9:50:15 AM

BG, that ain't a couch. It's my cousin's kid, Lotta. She sure does look like a couch though, don't she? Lotta, wake up!!

Well, we can take WonderTub into Gastonia an' look for furniture by the curbs on pick-up day. Think of 'em as treasures. There's some excellent stuff left by the curb in Gastonia. Chris met his future bride by the curb of a big house in the north end. How's Esmerelda doin' these days, anyway? Set a date yet?
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Apr 15, 2015 6:36:18 AM

Howdy Geezers

I kinda like this broken down old couch.....good for nappin'! Heck, we only need a couple of Lazy Boys and some TV trays to set our drinks on whilst watching the tube. I think we oughta save our money for bail or upgrading the WonderTub or important stuff like that.

Pass the jug. It's good to be home!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Apr 14, 2015 11:10:22 AM

Right you are, BJ. We can always "add-a-room" to the extra shed if we need hooch supply space. Well, what kind of furniture are we thinking? Early American? Modern? Or somewhere inbetween? While we're thinking, I'll be drinking!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Apr 14, 2015 9:34:00 AM

Good Mornin' Geezers

Well, Chris, we got that extra shed out back for all those supplies, so I don't wanna clutter up the clubhouse with them. 'sides, that shed is closer to the still and we don't haveta carry that stuff as far. Y'know I'm all for exercise, but I don't need any more than is absolutely necessary. Heck, I believe I get enuf just carryin' the jugs up here from the still. Speaking of that........

Pass the jug. I gotta exercise my drinkin' arm!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 14, 2015 9:32:20 AM

Youse guys make sense. Anyway, it's too much effort to try to get the stuff back.

Now, have a seat. Uh, we have no seats. Um, grab a floorboard an' pass the jug around. Let's rest up from our adventure. Tomorrow we think of somethin' we can do to get new furniture.
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Apr 13, 2015 10:38:11 PM

Geezers junk, another man's treasure! I vote to use the extra shelf space for sugar, rye, barley, corn, and wheat, a potato masher and... Oh, a couple of charred oak barrels. Whatcha think?
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Apr 13, 2015 9:48:45 AM

Howdy Geezers

Well, since we were planning to get rid of most of that junk anyway, why don't we just let 'em keep it. The clubhouse looks pretty good now that it's not all cluttered up. We gotta stop hoarding stuff, and mebbe just concentrate on Miracle Hooch (both procurin' and drinkin' it).

Pass the jug. No sense in being in a hurry to reclaim junk!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 12, 2015 11:43:42 PM

Let's put a stop to this, then after a few jugs for dinner, let's go around town an' get back our stuff. Lucky for us they hadn't got to the still yet.

Now about those jugs...
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Apr 12, 2015 10:55:12 AM

Well, the townsfolk seem to think we'd met our demise, in the jungles of Brazil. Harumph! What do those whippersnappers know? We've been through worse at Big Bertha's Bath Bash! Ha ha. All of us trying to squeeze into a 4' kiddie pool! Remember that, guys?? Great fun! OK, who's got the jug? Time to dream a little, until our next big adventure.
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 12, 2015 8:23:48 AM

Oh look, there's a wagon in front of the clubhouse 'an people are loadin' our stuff into it! Set 'er down right there on the front lawn, BG. They got some 'splainin' to do!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Apr 12, 2015 2:31:20 AM

Howdy Geezers

WOW! What an adventure! Other than bruised egos and lost clothes we got by pretty cheap. Hey, look......Gastonia's comin' into sight!!! Man, that town sure looks good!

Pass the jug. It's time to celebrate our safe return!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Apr 11, 2015 8:14:43 AM

Wow! You did great, BG! Doc Livingston is nowhere to be seen. Hmmm... I wonder if he's a fake. Sure fooled me. I'll never forget the passers-by pointin' an' laughin' at us. Brazil is a tough place to vacation. Let's get outta here.

On the way back can we stop at the Sky Mall?
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Apr 11, 2015 5:47:34 AM

Whoo Hoo! BJ, you're a sight for sore eyes buddy (and other sore body parts)! I couldn't remember which was the Port side and which was the Hooch side (is there even a Beer side?). Look at them natives scratching their heads, wondering where we are! Lol... This cloaking device is cool! Hey geezer, did we accidentally leave Dr. Livingstone behind?
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