Not Logged In Log In   Sign Up   Points Leaders
Follow Us    9:06 PM

Message Forum - Read Message

Category: Off Topic > Topics Add to favorite topics   Post new topicPost New Topic
Author Topic: ol' geezer's club Back to Topics
cheapmonkee

Champion Author
Portland

Posts:34,309
Points:3,958,660
Joined:Jun 2004
Message Posted: Jul 5, 2005 9:30:10 PM

Welcome to the club. Even you young pups can stop on by as long as you mind your manners. There may be snow on the roof but there's a fire that ol' diablo would covet in the furnace so watch out!
REPLIES (newest first) Post a Reply
Profile Pic
Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:51,640
Points:2,942,690
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Apr 18, 2015 11:55:36 AM

What did we do with "B" tunnel? Did we file it alphabetically, or under "H" for hooch? Other tunnels? I dunno. I can't read code very well. BUT I do know I thirst! Pass that new jug over, BJ. How's it taste?
Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 18, 2015 9:55:29 AM

I almost forgot about B Tunnel. You're right. That stash oughta be real ripe by now. Let's find out!

Uh, do we have other tunnels, too?
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 18, 2015 8:06:04 AM

Howdy Geezers

Heck, the revenooers don't have their boats in the water yet. They're still tryin' to get their coffee stops established for the season, so we'll be good for the next month or so. They are bureaucrats, you know, and they cain't break their established habits. Do we still have that emergency supply of hooch in the "B" tunnel? I'm thinkin' that oughta be aged to perfection right about now, so.....

Pass that new jug. It's samplin' time!
Profile Pic
Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:51,640
Points:2,942,690
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Apr 17, 2015 10:04:22 AM

Hee hee. BJ, good code words there! Throw the revenuers off track. They'll never guess we have a portable still disguised as a port-a-potty! Who'd want to sample THAT water?? Hee hee. We can use the deep well water for now. Go about your business, and ifin you need an advance on the hooch coffer money, we'll write you a special check, labeled "Potty money".
On this date in 1790, our old founding geezer, Ben Franklin died. Let's raise a jug to old Ben!
Hip hip, hoorah!!

[Edited by: Chris46 at 4/17/2015 10:04:51 AM EST]
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 17, 2015 9:36:35 AM

Howdy Geezers

Riff Raft is still wearin' her winter shrink wrap, but that will come off next week, in preparation for some major maintenance before we splash her. I gotta get some deck sections replaced, the water system upgraded, new radio installed and she needs a new coat of paint. I expect it will be two or three weeks before we can splash her, and then I haveta get her annual CG Auxiliary safety inspection before we take her out on the river. I've been puttin' off all these maintenance items, but NOW I must take care of them! In the mean time we can get by with our deep well source and filter process for the still water. Speaking of that.......

Pass the jug. It's time to sample this latest batch!
Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 17, 2015 9:14:45 AM

BG, when is the Riff Raft comin' out of hidin'? We gotta hit Whisky River an' search for the perfect water for our still.
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 16, 2015 9:44:49 AM

Howdy Geezers

Wait, don't poke Lotta yet. I wanna got out of her range!

Pass the jug. I gotta get the day's drinkin' started!
Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 16, 2015 9:23:10 AM

Heck Chris, I'll only be 98 in 2046. If you're not there I'll take over for ya.

Lotta ain't moved yet. Somebody poke her with a stick, but be careful. She's kinda ornery when she's woke up.
Profile Pic
Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:51,640
Points:2,942,690
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Apr 15, 2015 12:05:26 PM

Geezer, Esmerelda went to live with her mother until the wedding. We both decided we needed more space. Actually, Esmerelda takes up more than her share of space, if you catch my drift.
So..... I've set the date for July 4, 2046. I don't think she looked real hard at the marriage proposal date.
I should be good and dead by then.
BJ, pass the hooch. I'm going to celebrate my pending marriage!
Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 15, 2015 9:50:15 AM

BG, that ain't a couch. It's my cousin's kid, Lotta. She sure does look like a couch though, don't she? Lotta, wake up!!

Well, we can take WonderTub into Gastonia an' look for furniture by the curbs on pick-up day. Think of 'em as treasures. There's some excellent stuff left by the curb in Gastonia. Chris met his future bride by the curb of a big house in the north end. How's Esmerelda doin' these days, anyway? Set a date yet?
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 15, 2015 6:36:18 AM

Howdy Geezers

I kinda like this broken down old couch.....good for nappin'! Heck, we only need a couple of Lazy Boys and some TV trays to set our drinks on whilst watching the tube. I think we oughta save our money for bail or upgrading the WonderTub or important stuff like that.

Pass the jug. It's good to be home!
Profile Pic
Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:51,640
Points:2,942,690
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Apr 14, 2015 11:10:22 AM

Right you are, BJ. We can always "add-a-room" to the extra shed if we need hooch supply space. Well, what kind of furniture are we thinking? Early American? Modern? Or somewhere inbetween? While we're thinking, I'll be drinking!
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 14, 2015 9:34:00 AM

Good Mornin' Geezers

Well, Chris, we got that extra shed out back for all those supplies, so I don't wanna clutter up the clubhouse with them. 'sides, that shed is closer to the still and we don't haveta carry that stuff as far. Y'know I'm all for exercise, but I don't need any more than is absolutely necessary. Heck, I believe I get enuf just carryin' the jugs up here from the still. Speaking of that........

Pass the jug. I gotta exercise my drinkin' arm!
Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 14, 2015 9:32:20 AM

Youse guys make sense. Anyway, it's too much effort to try to get the stuff back.

Now, have a seat. Uh, we have no seats. Um, grab a floorboard an' pass the jug around. Let's rest up from our adventure. Tomorrow we think of somethin' we can do to get new furniture.
Profile Pic
Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:51,640
Points:2,942,690
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Apr 13, 2015 10:38:11 PM

Geezers junk, another man's treasure! I vote to use the extra shelf space for sugar, rye, barley, corn, and wheat, a potato masher and... Oh, a couple of charred oak barrels. Whatcha think?
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 13, 2015 9:48:45 AM

Howdy Geezers

Well, since we were planning to get rid of most of that junk anyway, why don't we just let 'em keep it. The clubhouse looks pretty good now that it's not all cluttered up. We gotta stop hoarding stuff, and mebbe just concentrate on Miracle Hooch (both procurin' and drinkin' it).

Pass the jug. No sense in being in a hurry to reclaim junk!
Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 12, 2015 11:43:42 PM

Let's put a stop to this, then after a few jugs for dinner, let's go around town an' get back our stuff. Lucky for us they hadn't got to the still yet.

Now about those jugs...
Profile Pic
Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:51,640
Points:2,942,690
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Apr 12, 2015 10:55:12 AM

Well, the townsfolk seem to think we'd met our demise, in the jungles of Brazil. Harumph! What do those whippersnappers know? We've been through worse at Big Bertha's Bath Bash! Ha ha. All of us trying to squeeze into a 4' kiddie pool! Remember that, guys?? Great fun! OK, who's got the jug? Time to dream a little, until our next big adventure.
Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 12, 2015 8:23:48 AM

Oh look, there's a wagon in front of the clubhouse 'an people are loadin' our stuff into it! Set 'er down right there on the front lawn, BG. They got some 'splainin' to do!
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 12, 2015 2:31:20 AM

Howdy Geezers

WOW! What an adventure! Other than bruised egos and lost clothes we got by pretty cheap. Hey, look......Gastonia's comin' into sight!!! Man, that town sure looks good!

Pass the jug. It's time to celebrate our safe return!
Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 11, 2015 8:14:43 AM

Wow! You did great, BG! Doc Livingston is nowhere to be seen. Hmmm... I wonder if he's a fake. Sure fooled me. I'll never forget the passers-by pointin' an' laughin' at us. Brazil is a tough place to vacation. Let's get outta here.

On the way back can we stop at the Sky Mall?
Profile Pic
Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:51,640
Points:2,942,690
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Apr 11, 2015 5:47:34 AM

Whoo Hoo! BJ, you're a sight for sore eyes buddy (and other sore body parts)! I couldn't remember which was the Port side and which was the Hooch side (is there even a Beer side?). Look at them natives scratching their heads, wondering where we are! Lol... This cloaking device is cool! Hey geezer, did we accidentally leave Dr. Livingstone behind?
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 11, 2015 1:19:00 AM

Howdy Geezers

Boarding ladders are on the port side, guys. Climb aboard quickly. We've only got a couple of minutes before the gun squad gets here! Yup, that's it.......in ya come! ::::cloaking device on:::: WE"RE OUGHTA HERE!!!!!!!

Pass the jug. A successful escape!
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 10, 2015 12:08:25 PM

Here I come Geezers!

I'll be at yer location in 30 seconds. Get ready to jump aboard on the port side. I've got yer extra clothes stacked against the starboard bulkhead. My, but those sirens are gettin' loud! This is gonna be a close one! Leave at least two jugs of Miracle Hooch there....that'll give 'em something to investigate and meebe soften their anger in not catchin' youse guys!

Pass the jug. We're gonna celebrate a successful extraction!

Profile Pic
Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:51,640
Points:2,942,690
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Apr 10, 2015 11:41:10 AM

Can someone please 'splain why I'm in my birthday suit? Are the girls washing our clothes down by the old mill stream? OH! You say the girls are gone, along with our wallets!? Which way do we vamoose, geezer? BJ, are you reading our GPS? Come in hot and fast! :::takes a swig of 'skeeter juice:::
Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 10, 2015 9:41:02 AM

::wakes up::

Uh, wha happened? Where are my shoes and socks? Where is my shirt?

WHERE ARE MY PANTS??????

Oh man, this is bad. Why do I hear sirens? Chris, get up. We gotta vamoose.

Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 10, 2015 1:09:58 AM

Hey Geezers

C'mon guys, WAKE UP! I hear sirens and we don't have our passports stamped. We gotta vamoose right now! Wake UP!!!!

Pass the jug. I gotta get ready for a foreign jail!
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 9, 2015 9:31:10 AM

Good Morning Geezers

Good Lord! What happened here? Why are ya all layin' around snoozin'? And where are all those pretty girls? Heck, where are yer shoes and socks? Ya cain't go explorin' the jungle in yer bare feet. I thought Doc Livingston was here. Where'd he go? Hey, WAKE UP! WAKE UP!!! We need some answers. <<<the whole crew keeps blissfully sleeping>>>

Pass the jug. We'll get to the bottom of this after a drink!
Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 9, 2015 8:36:02 AM

Wow, look at Doc get down with the honies! I wish I could understand Portugese so I know what they're sayin'. Pass along another jug of hooch an' let's party hearty!

I'm gettin' a little woozy. I think one of those honies put sumpthin' in the hooch. What the....::thunk::
Profile Pic
Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:51,640
Points:2,942,690
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Apr 8, 2015 11:25:12 AM

Glad you could join us, doc! Here, rub some of this hooch on ya. It'll keep the sketters at bay! Got my hikin' boots on. Let's rumble thru the jungle!
Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 8, 2015 9:07:09 AM

Party hearty, dudes...and dudettes! Hey, look who showed up! Hi there, Doc. Gonna party with us before we go jungle hoppin'?
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 8, 2015 1:38:41 AM

Hi There, Geezers!

We gotta lotta Miracle Hooch, so feed 'em what they want. Heck, let's have a party before you get to hikin' thru the jungles. At least you'll have a reason to go astray then.

Pass the jug. We gotta get this party started!
Profile Pic
Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:51,640
Points:2,942,690
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Apr 7, 2015 10:45:55 PM

Hey guys! Look what followed me back! I just had to promise we'd take them hiking with us. Ok. Well, maybe some hooch too.
Whatcha think??
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 7, 2015 9:49:34 AM

Howdy Geezers

Well Chris, ya found a good one, but I'm guessin' this will delay yer trip into the jungle to find those lost ruins. Hey, where's Dr livingston? Did he leave without ya? OooooWeeeee, check out the ones followin' along with Chris' chicky........looks like you'll be pretty busy, geezer!

Pass the jug. I gotta get ready to observe these goins-on!
Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 7, 2015 9:38:56 AM

BG, you're brilliant! I never thought of the super market! Heck, if Chris doesn't come back with eggs, we'll head to the market. Ooh, Chris appears to be gatherin' a different kind of chicky. Way to go, Chris!!
Profile Pic
Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:51,640
Points:2,942,690
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Apr 6, 2015 11:26:38 AM

:::Chris can be heard in the distance::: "Here chicky-chicky. Here chicky-chicky!"
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 6, 2015 9:53:05 AM

Good Morning Geezers

Oh, please, don't get BB involved! Her dyes are permanent and, I suspect, toxic. She'd prolly wanna get involved in some of our other adventures, and every time we dealt with her we've had various disasters. I'm not sure even Miracle Hooch can mitigate the effects of those dyes, so we may wanna stay away from her. How 'bout we just head downtown and pick up some chocolate Easter Bunnies and chocolate eggs? They oughta be on sale now that Easter's over and we can pick 'em up cheap! And, I heard the chocolate is a good source of protein and other nutrients. We've been doin' a fair amount of drinkin' since we've arrived and haven't been eating properly. So that may be a good way to fortify yerselves before headin' out into the jungle for yer sightseein' tour with Dr. Livingston.

Pass the jug. All this thinkin' is makin' me thirsty!
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 5, 2015 9:55:27 AM

Happy Easter Geezers

Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 5, 2015 8:22:08 AM

Sounds good, Chris. What are we gonna use for eggs an' dye? I figure we can dip the eggs in a hooch jug for a few minutes an' pickle 'em, then dip 'em in the dye. Hey wait, Big Bertha dyes all her various patches of hair an' mebbe she'll give us a little for our eggs. Now, where can we get some eggs?

Profile Pic
Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:51,640
Points:2,942,690
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Apr 4, 2015 10:51:57 PM

Let's just stop what we're doing and make some Easter eggs!
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 4, 2015 10:34:25 AM

Howdy Geezers

That feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach is gettin' stronger.

Pass the jug. I want a drink!
Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 4, 2015 2:55:25 AM

We don't need no steenkin sat phones. Doc is a famous explorer an' won't get us lost. Hey, where'd he go, anyway. Oh, there he is. Hey Doc, over this way!!
Profile Pic
Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:51,640
Points:2,942,690
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Apr 3, 2015 4:46:09 PM

Hey BJ, I'm here. I don't know where the batteries are for the sat phones, but try these sun phones. They work off the Sun. See that little solar power generating window there? Right there! :::Hands BJ a magnifying glass::: What could go wrong??
Geezer, I'm ready when you are. Uh... Where are the bikes?... We're WHAT??!!
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 3, 2015 10:36:11 AM

Good Morning Geezers

Hey, where are the batteries for the sat phones? I cain't find 'em anyplace. And the batteries for the walkie talkies are almost dead.. I got a real bad feelin' in the pit of my stomach!

Pass the jug. I need ta numb my thoughts!

[Edited by: BGJam at 4/3/2015 10:39:12 AM EST]
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 2, 2015 5:38:39 PM

Howdy Geezers

Mebbe ya oughta take the sat phones 'cause the walkie talkies only have limited range and I may not be able to receive their signal if yer more than 2 miles away. The sat phones have a stronger signal and I can punch the coordinates into the nav system and git to ya in a hurry if ya need help. Standin' by.........

Pass the jug. I'm gonna tinker with the sat phones!
Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 2, 2015 2:18:29 AM

Hey Doc, we hear you know where some ancient ruins are near here true? Well, Chris an' I are interested in goin' there. Would you take us? You would? Great! When do we leave? Okay, see you in the Mornin'.
Profile Pic
Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:51,640
Points:2,942,690
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Apr 2, 2015 12:41:39 AM

:::Chris meets the good Dr.:::
"Dr. Livingstone, I presume??...
Say, you don't look too bad for 111 years old!
How would you like to join our club?
How's Sir Stanley doing lately??
Psst! Geezer! This guys kind of quiet.
I think he needs a hearing aid.
Here, Dr. have a swig of this elixir!
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Apr 1, 2015 10:27:36 AM

Howdy Geezers

Why do I have this feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach? Hey, geezer, how 'bout I hang here with the WonderTub and keep her warmed up for immediate action? Take yer walkie talkies with ya and call me if ya need an emergency extraction. I've got the GPS linked up with the WonderTub's navigation system and can home in on yer comm signal if ya need help. Key the mike an' I'll come flyin' in for the rescue!!!

Pass the jug. I gotta get ready for yer next adventure!
Profile Pic
geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:25,366
Points:3,954,360
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Apr 1, 2015 4:58:58 AM

I dunno if there are head hunters out there in the jungle, but let's go find out. I hear there are some very impressive ruins they've uncovered recently. Grab yer hooch backpacks 'an let's explore. I hired us a guide. Meet Dr. Livingston. He's kinda old, but they say he only got lost once many many years ago.
Profile Pic
Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:51,640
Points:2,942,690
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Mar 31, 2015 5:54:57 PM

Youze guys are the best friends! I was a goner, duck soup for sure! BJ, you say we're gonna hop over to the next town and see what's going on! Uh... Anybody know where the next town is??
:::accidentally uncovers a hidden hooch idol, while looking for a spare jug:::
Geezer, what's with the trinkets?? Say... Are there any headhunters where we're going??
Profile Pic
BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

Posts:11,700
Points:2,353,235
Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Mar 31, 2015 9:32:53 AM

Greetings Geezers

A jug we can replace. Chris, we cannot. Quick, geezer, create a diversion whilst I scoop up Chris. Noooo, don't start any fires with our Miracle Hooch, 'cause if that fire gets back to the jug we'll have a heckava explosion. That brings way too many investigators and We cain't pass any scrutiny. Good, yer Irish jig is causin' all those bad guys to take their attention off of Chris. Okay, I've got him! Let's get back to the WonderTub pronto! <<<I didn't know you could do an Irish Jig>>>

Pass the jug. I gotta get primed for our trip home!
Post a reply Back to Topics