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cheapmonkee

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Portland

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Message Posted: Jul 5, 2005 9:30:10 PM

Welcome to the club. Even you young pups can stop on by as long as you mind your manners. There may be snow on the roof but there's a fire that ol' diablo would covet in the furnace so watch out!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Oct 30, 2014 1:16:03 AM

I'm on the same page with ya geezer. I'm already starting on the Christmas hooch.
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 29, 2014 9:33:45 AM

I went to Candyland an' got a huge bag of candy for the little beggars. It's a variety pack of chocolate covered insects. I had to get 'em because it'll keep me from eatin' all the candy before Halloween.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 29, 2014 8:35:43 AM

Hi Geezers

Pass the JUG. I gotta get ready to be a movie star!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 28, 2014 9:01:24 AM

Bobbin' for just about anything in Miracle Hooch is a great idea.

For Halloween I'm settin' up a camera in Izzy's Model T to get some material for America's Funniest Home Videos. We could make thousands! Who wants to go on the show?
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 28, 2014 8:53:14 AM

Hi There, Geezers!

Chris if we bob for tootsie rolls we'd have ta do it in a tub of Miracle Hooch. Y'know, that's a pretty good idea, Chris! I like it........

We've never had trouble gettin' rid of the leftover Halloween candy, geezer. We'll just take it over to the Gastonia Retirement/Convalescent Home, and it'll go like wildfire.

Pass the jug. I'm gonna ponder Maggie in that Elvira dress!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Oct 27, 2014 8:00:58 PM

We could bob for tootsie® rolls to the background tune of JAWS®! That should be fun!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 27, 2014 10:01:35 AM

Maggie, if you wear that Elvira dress, you'll be twins all by yourself.

BG, if we cut down on the rugrats, what'll we do with all that candy? Halloween Hooch? As you say, time to ponder. Pass the jug.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 27, 2014 9:20:37 AM

Howdy Geezers

Maggie when I see ya in that Elvira dress my mouth goes so dry that I couldn't whistle if I remembered how. However, I will be pleased to dance with ya (if I can remember how). Hmmmm. Memory seems to be an issue here.

geezer, we oughta station a couple of zombies in, and at the back end of the tunnel. That oughta make an impression on the ankle biters! But those that escape will probably spread the word and that will decrease the number of rug rats comin' through.

Pass the jug. Time to start the day!
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 26, 2014 9:27:11 PM

Hello boys how are you all, I just happen to have a whole shopping bag full of candy the bag lady said its all good! And I will bring more of our geinzing hootch purley for medicinal purposes! And yes I will be wearing my ELVIRA Dress we could be twins when I wear my high heels. So now that thats all covered sip sip, ladies don't slug it down so I have to sip fast to stay up with you guys. BG save a dance for me wont you sip honey, and you two Chris and geezer sip sip I'll be looking for you! You just have to whistle, you do remember how whistle don't you sips alot. Pass the jug wont you sweetie just the thought of all that dancing is making my head spin! Have a good nite boys, I'll see you around!
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Tucsonhomes
All-Star Author Tucson

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Message Posted: Oct 26, 2014 6:12:25 PM

Candy supply is almost gone, maybe I should get some
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 26, 2014 1:20:32 PM

Well, only six days to go. Shouldn't we be askin' the zombies where they want to stand on Halloween night? Jimmy Hoffa usually answers the front door, but Gadaffi wants to do that this year...
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 26, 2014 9:58:59 AM

Good Mornin' Geezers

Yep, Chris, we got plenty of hooch left, and I suspect its 'cause you ain't doin' yer share of drinkin'. So, no slackin' off now! Drink up!!!!!!!!

When you've slaked yer thirst, pass a jug back 'cause I gotta catch up with ya. Ain't that Elvira somethin'?? I've seen some hot wimmin in my time but she really sets the bar high! Ohh, La La!

What was I talkin' about??? When Elvira saunters in, my mind goes berzaaak!

Pass the jug. I gotta got my mind straight!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Oct 26, 2014 1:38:55 AM

I like to twerk, but my back doesn't, so nowadays I settle for a little Salsa on my Scoops®. The last time I Tango'd, my left foot got Tango'd around my right foot, and... Well, it wasn't pretty, but I was glad I was wearing a clean single of underwear! (Yes, they make singles of underwear. And for half the price of a pair of underwear).
I'm bringing some hooch apple fritters for the grown ups, and some M&M's for the kiddies. Limit 1 M&M's peanut or 2 M&M's plain per gobblin. A whole bag should last the night!
BJ, is there any hooch left? Or is it all in them little plastic juggy thingies??
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 25, 2014 10:06:47 PM

Howdy Geezers

Yup, the hooch bobbin' is a barrel of fun! The problem is I can never remember the end of the game or who won. Maggie we're gonna scare the ankle biters with that tunnel made of Big Edna's bloomers. That oughta keep 'em from botherin' us whilst we engage in that jug capture game. And, as far as bringin' somethin, I'm gonna bring a powerful thirst and a bag of Lay's tater chips, 'cause ya cain't eat just one. An' you gotta be careful about wigglin' around in that Elvira dress, 'cause you could start a riot, and we don't need no steenkin' gun squad or revenooers crashin' our party to find out what the commotion is is all about.

Pass the jug. I gotta have a nip before hittin' the sack!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 25, 2014 8:41:31 AM

Bobbin' for hooch is great, but it went real bad a few years back. Somebody, I think it was Izzy, determined that floating the mini hooch jugs in water was more economical than floating them in hooch itself, so that's what we did. Well, hooch has medicinal properties that plain ol' water doesn't an' one of our former club members, Drunkhabib, just happened to have one of those drippy, sneezy head colds comin' on, an' he went first. while he was bobbin' his gnarly little germie things got into the water an' the result was the entire clubhouse was laid up for over a week,.

So now we fill the barrel with Miracle Hooch an' nobody get sick. An' oddly enough, there's a lot less liquid left in the barrel at the end of the night. Barely enough to hooch the plants.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 24, 2014 10:25:22 AM

Geezer that sounds even better, bobbing for hootch I love it. So whats on the menu and is there anything that I can bring? Like a rum cake maybe! So Chris and Bg what are you bringing to the party? Oh the party is going to be a hummer I just know and are we still handing out treats to the little kiddies or will we just pretend they are not there and then scare the you know what out of them! Well I have to mind the still, I heard some noises out in back could be the revenoers or the neighbors who finally found me out! You know the kind they know it all and like to tell every one what to do something like the revenoers snicker snicker!:)
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 24, 2014 9:32:40 AM

Yeah, BG...women's undies! Uh, what was the question?

Mags, no apple bobbin'. We have our own version of it, though - bobbin' for little tiny plastic hooch jugs. There's nuthin' greater than havin' a mouth full of jugs.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 23, 2014 8:26:09 PM

Chris I can see us dancing now, do you like to Salsa or Tango? AWH poor wacky he's confused by a pair of Underwear, here have a slug of this! Now how about the party fella's! Will there be any apple bobbin or spin the bottle or any other games any body can speak up! BG calm down honey but a lady never tell it all don't ya know! Okay some one pass me a glass so I can have some hootch with Geezer we have to plan our attack for the party!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 23, 2014 10:13:33 AM

Good Morning Geezers

geezer, how 'bout women's undies?? Elvira's wearin' that H O T dress and I have no idea if she's wearin' undies, but if she is, they're..........my mind's bogglin', I lost my train of thought!

Pass the jug, Chris. I've gotta straighten out my brainwaves!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 23, 2014 9:28:01 AM

Well, Whack-a-doodle, it's because they go under a pair of pants.
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wackiness
Champion Author San Bernardino

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Message Posted: Oct 23, 2014 6:00:29 AM

Adding to the last post.

A pair of undies is considered a pair WHY?
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wackiness
Champion Author San Bernardino

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Message Posted: Oct 23, 2014 1:12:43 AM

Have a question

Why is it one pair of undies is considered not
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Oct 23, 2014 12:39:41 AM

Elvira, do I dance? Wah wah a-Watusi! Shoo-bop, shoo-bop! Chubby Checker was my next door neighbor!
Ee-yah twist!
Baby, baby twist!
Ooh yeah, just like this!
Come on little miss and do the twist!
Ouch! Ouch! Ooh! I heard a vertebra snap just then!
MEDIC!!
Maybe some hooch will help.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 22, 2014 8:36:24 PM

HELLO BOYS! ELVIRA HERE CHUCKS WITH REACTIONS LIKE THAT i'LL HAVE TO DRESS UP MORE OFTEN! Why wait for the party, lets get jiggy! Bg are you ready lets dance, hey geezer play us a tune your next, and I can't forget Chris do you dance? Ahh you guys are so sweet, just for that I'll cut the lawn and make it look like a golf course a sip at every sand trap and a double for the hole in one. I better get to cooking more mash and I'll even make my famous Toll House Brownies. Some one please pass me the jug I'm powerful thirsty now. Blue Moon la la la la
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 22, 2014 7:46:43 PM

Well, Good Evening Geezers

My, My, but you are lookin' positively H O T, Elvira! I do believe I'd like to share that dance with ya, that you were talking about! Oh, we have ta wait for the party??? Rats, I was hopin' for a preview.........

Here's the jug, Chris. Pass it back with enough left for me to wet my whistle!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Oct 22, 2014 10:51:57 AM

Good morning, geezers and....and.... Well! HELLO there, Elvira! Nice dress!
Geezer, I didn't know we even HAD a lawn!
Hey Dudley. Happy 50th, you old codger! I could call some of my underwear, old codgers too. They used to have elastic in the waistband. Imagine that.
I think I'll dress up as Dark-Wing duck. Can I bring my cousin, Daffy?
BJ, pass the hard stuff, will ya?
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 22, 2014 9:25:36 AM

BG, please don't go as "The Great Commando" like you did last year. The kids giggled themselves sick an' it made a mess out on the lawn.

Speakin' of the lawn, why haven't we ever mowed it?
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 21, 2014 8:22:56 PM

Dudley happy birthday my friend there's a reason to celebrate if you need one 50 your still a baby my friend here have a snort of this! Geezer what on earth are you painting that your gonna wear, here take a sip of this! I sip and a slurp finished my out fit today guys a slit on each side and low cut front I think I could win something with this costume Hmm maybe a cold or a ticket from the police! Have a good night my friends!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 21, 2014 10:05:26 AM

Howdy Geezers

I'm not wearing a special costume to the upcoming Ball. I figger I'll just dress myself without Mrs BG's guidance and let her chortle at the results.

Pass the jug. I'm gonna celebrate Dudley's 50th!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 21, 2014 9:21:01 AM

I have my costume almost ready, Magatha. I just need to put another coat of paint on it.

Dudley, welcome to the clubhouse. Here, have a jug of "Half Century Special." Uh, is Nell with you?
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DudleyDoRight
Champion Author Indianapolis

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Message Posted: Oct 20, 2014 10:10:58 PM

Turned 50 this year.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 20, 2014 11:22:01 AM

I'am now busy making my gown for the Halloeen Ball, I figure a slit up the sides will do the trick!:) Why mr. geezer I do declare, care to to dance? So I have been busy making some of that George Washington's sipping whiskey with the left over barley corn is getting hard to find, nothing else it will get our toes to tapping! BG I'm with geezer the drapes will add an awhsome touch. Geezer have you got your outfit together or are you having a brain hiccup? See you all later I have to go in back and take care of the still! Sip, slurp have one on me!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 20, 2014 10:26:45 AM

Elvira, eh? I think I just got a little wiggle...

I like the drapes idea, BG. Good thinkin'!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 20, 2014 10:12:41 AM

Good Morning Geezers

Elvira, huh? Sounds great to me!

Pass the jug. Chris and I need to reduce the Miracle Hooch reserves!
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 19, 2014 9:02:45 PM

Hello boys!:) BG I am no longer married but I definetly don't want to rile up the MRS LOL. A good ole slow dance never hurt anybody, and besides it will warm up your blood! Tucsonhomes let me know if you have prune juice if you want to dance make it a fast one I would not want to delay a future trip snicker snicker! Geezer I can work my magic and make the corn balls look like corn jugs good thinking chuckle chuckle your really thinking today! Throw out those rocking chairs guys and live a little!:) Can't wait for the party maybe I'll dress like ELVIRA!:)
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 19, 2014 10:11:46 AM

Good Sunday Morning To Y'all Geezers

Okay, Maggie, I could use a little stirrin' up, so I'll dance a long slow one with ya. Just tell yer hubby to leave the shotgun at home 'cause my missus would get real cranky if I had a dance with lead shot. An' we definitely don't wanna get her cranky!

Heck, geezer, we could just have the excess of Big Edna's bloomers be drapes at each end of the tunnel. That oughta boggle the rugrats' minds all by itself. Good thinkin'! The only problem is we gotta take them to a commercial laundromat 'cause none of our home wash machines are big enuf to handle them, and with the way she sweats, they'd have ta be laundered just so we could handle them.

Pass the jug. It's time to put all these heavy thoughts to rest!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 19, 2014 9:41:51 AM

Don't worry BG, we can use black plastic instead. No, wait! We can sew together three or four pair of Big Edna's old black bloomers and have the tunnel extend another four feet!

We don't do prune hooch any more, Tucson. When we did, we were fillin' our Ten Day Turtleneck Depends in five or six days and it got too expensive, not to mention messy.

Magster, if you can shape that caramel corn into little hooch jugs, we can use it. Whatchya think?
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 19, 2014 12:51:07 AM

Awh geezer ya take the fun out of my carmel corn, tucsonhomes I have a new hootch made with prune juice take a sip or two of this it will put you feeling right. And you BG at least you might feel a little something although it might shake up the old brain box a little and by then the slow dance would be over. Besides is this suppose to be a rockin chair club or are we allowed to move a little! Come on guys live a little wont cha!:)
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 18, 2014 12:25:29 PM

Howdy Geezers

Maggie, ya gotta be careful with that dancin' business. I kinda remember some of those slower dances from my youth, and the wild thoughts runnin' thru my brain as I clutched those wonderful female bodies close. Mebbe I should just nip and not dance 'cause I wouldn't wanna get into any trouble.

geezer, we'd have ta have a fund raiser to buy enuf shrink wrap fer yer tunnel. Cripes, they charge 12 dollars a foot for the stuff and I saw on yer plans that the tunnel would be 47 feet long with one 90 degree turn. For that $564 we can buy enuf corn to keep us supplied in Miracle Hooch for two years! 'sides, I really hate fund raisers..........

Prunes, Tucsonhomes????? Just take a couple o' pulls on this jug, and you'll never need prunes again!

Pass the jug. I gotta loosen things up a little!
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Tucsonhomes
All-Star Author Tucson

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Message Posted: Oct 18, 2014 11:04:30 AM

Ready for my prunes
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 18, 2014 8:36:40 AM

Corn balls? Why waste good squeezins' materials on sumpthin' to eat? Where's your priorities, woman? Sheesh.

Alright, I found all of Izzy's toupees, so I'll start stringin' them to be hanged later. BG, if you can get some of that shrink wrap stuff to make the entry tunnel, that'd be great. We still need sumpthin' more to scare the bejeezuz outta them little rugrats...
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 17, 2014 9:33:52 PM

Well you all have been talking but I don't hear any decisions being made! Now geezer we can't hand out vegies instead of candy , you can't break tradition! And you all have to show up at the dance in what ever your heart desires you to be on this special day. I made fresh carmel corn balls just for you adults and no booze in the other corn balls for the children! I expect to dance with each of you old pharts and then you can go back to yer hootch! And I wont take no for an answer,so you all better be ready nothing to fast, just a nice how-do-you-do! BG pass that jug and give me a squirt or two, here you can keep the ginzing jug! Chris what ever you wear I'm sure you will look just fine, and wear some shoes I don't want to step on yer toes. Oh who told you about the pumpkin patch now I have to change my hiding spot. Well guys sip slurp have a good one and remember times a ticking or jumping!:)
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 17, 2014 1:18:42 PM

Howdy Geezers

Heck, Chris, this stiff neck works pretty good for drinkin' hooch. I seems to slide down the ol' gullet easier. Mebbe this stiff neck ain't too bad!

I believe I'll dress up in a besotted old tramp outfit. That way I won't even have ta change clothes.

Pass the jug. I gotta test this new batch.....ta make sure it's safe for Chris!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 17, 2014 9:57:09 AM

How 'bout we hand out Brussels sprouts and turnips instead of candy this year?
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Oct 17, 2014 12:42:34 AM

Geezer. Last year, I tried sitting in a chair on the porch, dressed up as a scarecrow. I was gonna jump up and scare the little buggers. I fell asleep, and somebody stole my bib overalls! I could dress up as a scary pumpkin with a chain saw (sans the chain).

BJ, if it lasts longer than 4 hours, make sure you see your doctor, so no long term damage is done to your swallower! You don't want to miss your hooch sessions!

Tucson, quit sunning yourself, and get back in the clubhouse! We need a 4th for Euchre!

Maggie, are you still with us? Or have you gone to that "Great Pumpkin patch" in the sky?
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 16, 2014 10:18:28 AM

Them Viagree pills can be troublesome, BG. I take a quarter pill jes' so I don't pee on my shoes.

No zombie costume?? Well, you gotta come up with sumpthin' else.

I think we should make sumpthin' to scare the little candy baggers. Mebbe we make a tunnel of sorts to get to our front door, and hang a collection of Izzy's toupees from it. That'd scare the bejeezus outta me.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Oct 16, 2014 9:55:37 AM

Good Morning Geezers

No zombie costume for me. I'm askairt of them!

I musta swallowed my viagra pill too slowly 'cause now I have a stiff neck.

Pass the jug. I gotta do some re-evaluatin'!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Oct 15, 2014 8:14:44 AM

Chris, this geezer could use some shrinking. Not shrinkage, mind you, shrinking.

A little over two weeks to Halloween, folks. How are those zombie costumes comin'?
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Oct 14, 2014 10:57:16 PM

Tucson... Isn't that close to where Wyatt Earp was Sherriff? I can't believe he lived until 1929 and died in Los Angeles! Have a chug of hooch and sit a spell.

Geezer, we don't want to be on the riff-raft when they apply the shrink wrap, or it'll be "Honey, I shrunk the geezers!"

Maggie, have a sip of this tang hooch. Breathe deeply. Relax. You are getting sleeeeepy.

BJ, kind of sad, knowing another season has slipped by. Well, like you say, more time for hooch! Can't be all bad.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Oct 14, 2014 6:57:36 PM

RAIN RAIN GO AWAY COME AGAIN SOME OTHER DAY! Nore rain but it feels muggy out here and its only 64 degrees. The dampness is killing my bones and I want to be outside and clean up the yard and burn the leaves, so all I can do right now is house work and work on the repair list for the inside of the house! OH well I can still sip my hootch !:)
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