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cheapmonkee

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Portland

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Message Posted: Jul 5, 2005 9:30:10 PM

Welcome to the club. Even you young pups can stop on by as long as you mind your manners. There may be snow on the roof but there's a fire that ol' diablo would covet in the furnace so watch out!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Sep 19, 2014 9:35:51 AM

Howdy Geezers

Maggie don't hide yer jugs in the outhouse. The revenooers look there first. And geezer's right, we gotta get that tractor fixed, just to haul yer jugs around. I snuck a little sample of yer latest brew, Maggie. Yer real competition for geezer's Miracle Hooch! Keep up the good work!!!!

Pass a jug. Chris and I are mighty thirsty!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Sep 19, 2014 9:23:38 AM

No need to hide those jugs, Magatha. Lay 'em out right here on the porch an' we'll empty 'em for ya. No evidence!

Now, before we get too lubricated, let's fix the tractor. What size belt does it take?
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Sep 18, 2014 1:10:35 PM

Geezer been to busy to drool, the dog-gone tractor threw a belt, the tube leading from the toilet tank decided to leak, and then AHH I forgot. But any how you have me confused with some one else! Besides this being the end of summer I bought up as much corn and barley as I could for my mash. Chris was that you I was getting out the rifle on one guy, almost shot his behind off! Howdy bj how the heck are you doing? Well back to work the mash is cooking and I have to fix the toilet so I don't have to use the out house, that's where I hid the jugs! Have a great thursday guy's and watch out for the revenors!:)Its not easy finding hiding places for the jars of hooch have to keep building new hide outs and keep it moving so they don't get to suspect of what I do every day!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Sep 18, 2014 8:56:55 AM

Dang Chris, I thought you were the Fuller Brush man! Good disguise.

Those strappin' high school boys we hired to chip out the basement full of concrete are workin' away, but things are slow because Ethyl, Maggie and Big Sally are down there droolin' over 'em.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Sep 18, 2014 1:25:18 AM

Howdy Geezers

Ya sure had me fooled, Chris. Here take a pull on this jug, and tell me what ya think of it. It's one of geezer's new blends.

Pass the jug. I gotta ta try some of those new blends also!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Sep 18, 2014 12:17:53 AM

:::Takes off fake glasses/mustache and bulbus nose:::
Surprise! Its me! Hee hee. I've been undercover the past week. And here you thought I got nabbed! Nope. Just like a fly on the wall, I've been takin' notes on all the goings and comings. It will make the best seller list.
Young geezer... that's an oxymoron!
Lets eat soup! Pass my teeth when you're done, Ethyl
Have we tried to market some slurpie hooch lately?
In the meantime, I'll slurp some hooch.
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Sep 17, 2014 8:51:58 AM

Fire up the grill an' heat some soup!!

It's time we start chippin' away at the concrete that filled the basement. winter's comin' 'an the furnace is down there. I figure the zombies have all rotted away by now, except maybe Jimmy Hoffa.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Sep 16, 2014 12:15:41 PM

Well geezer I don't know what you call it but its a John Wayne walk, swagger, when he came at you you knew he meant it! Oh come on I know you can find something to eat, fire up the grill and throw on a hot dog or a burger, get some greens and tear it up and pour some salad dressing on. Then drink your jug with a little somethin and you will still feel good the next day. Pass that jug I'll show you how, what we need here is a little communicatin and get the neighbors going or joining and wholla here comes the food! Hey look geezer got the jug and who's that standing with him never seen her before! Have a wonderful day!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Sep 16, 2014 9:48:27 AM

Good Morning Geezers

Just pass the jug. I believe I'll drink my dinner!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Sep 16, 2014 9:27:54 AM

That ain't a John Wayne swagger, Mags. That geezer's Ten Day Turtleneck Depend needs to be emptied.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Sep 15, 2014 4:33:43 PM

The dinner bell is ringing and you should see the old geezers lined up like its a race, I'm bettin on the couple in the look-a-like jogging suits. Of course the one geezer with the jug is starting to motor too as long as he can keep up his John WAYNE walk snicker maybe its my shine that's making me see crooked!LOL
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Sep 15, 2014 9:23:29 AM

Howdy Coots

Good one, geezer, but ya coulda held it a little longer.

Pass the jug. I gotta conjure up some gas!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Sep 15, 2014 8:51:28 AM

Dinner? Did I hear dinner? Gotta be soup with dinner!

We should turn this clubhouse into a Bed an' Breakfarts.

BBBBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Sep 14, 2014 1:10:20 PM

Young geezers old geezers whats the difference as long as they still call ya for dinner! Pass the jug i'am a little thirsty and the packers are playing today!:)
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Sep 14, 2014 12:58:58 PM

Hi There Geezers

Young Geezers??????? Those two words are opposites, aren't they? We could go over to the Gastonia retirement home and see if there are any there.

Pass the jug. Young geezers, indeed!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Sep 13, 2014 8:45:15 PM

Jetta, is there such a thing as a young geezer?
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Jetta_Pilot
Champion Author Toronto

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Message Posted: Sep 13, 2014 6:32:13 PM

Yup ya know when you're an old geezer and you are in the metallic age!.

There is silver on the roof,
Gold in your mouth
and
Lead in your pencil
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Sep 13, 2014 2:04:51 PM

See I knew that there was something missing, so I'll think on it some more. He geezer the room is spinning way to fast slower please. I never play spin the bottle alone where's the fun in that? He instead of a lemonade stand how about a hooch stand. As soon as we spot them we give them lemonade. Snicker snicker hey no drinking on the job where is our profits going cheese it its the cops! Slurp sip and ah nuts its empty geezer where the jug dog gone it! Hey I found a jug!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Sep 13, 2014 8:14:28 AM

Howdy Geezers

Maggie those old machines are now collector's items and modifyin' a soda machine to fit our special needs would be prohibitively expensive. I think we oughta sit down and figger out another way to promote our product. And don't ferget those infernal revenooers! They're always sniffin' around tryin' to catch us at something.

Pass the jug. I gotta do some ponderin'!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Sep 13, 2014 8:06:04 AM

How 'bout this for an advertisin' idear? "Work Slurp - Jes' Dew it!"

Maggifer, are you playin' Spin-the-Bottle solo? Cain't be too excitin'. Here, take a few pulls on this jug an' play Spin-the-Room instead.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Sep 12, 2014 8:54:01 PM

How about one of those soda machines and in stead of mountain dew its old mountain shine! It would take some thinking but it could work! What do ya think geezer, Im a depending on you to help in the idea department slurp. Bg can you find us a machine to restore? Chris do ya have any idears slurp, Im just spinning the bottle here to let my brain thinking process go thru (slurp) and figure out how to do this.! Let r rip tater chip lets all get to thinking pass the jug Im out!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Sep 12, 2014 6:26:20 PM

Howdy Geezers

Work Slurp.......sounds like a million dollar winner! Ya might haveta fire up the aux still also. I can envision all those dollars flowing into the clubhouse coffers!

Pass the jug. I'm gonna dream about this abundance!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Sep 12, 2014 9:32:18 AM

Work Slurp! That's a great name for a new hooch for the poor workin' slob, Maggs! We can put it in one of them juice box thingies, so's the boss don't catch on. Fire up the still!
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Sep 11, 2014 9:37:41 PM

hey guys I kept telling to walk this way , but no Bg is straining all parts of his body and geezer withall his ideas just freaked out and ran! I said to use the van but then we all jumped into the wonder tub and all heck broke loose! i tell ya sometimes I just feel a little lost, pass the jug I really have to think this over, maybe a bat man move would work slurp!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Sep 11, 2014 4:37:41 PM

Howdy Coots

geezer, yer havin' a bad dream. We all missed the WonderTub, 'cept Maggie, and she got herself into the thick of things (outside, that is). I stumbled on the way to the WonderTub and did the geezerdance tryin' to save the jugs I was carryin'. Now I'm up on all the latest steps.....just don't ask me to demonstrate it. I think I strained several things.....ain't quite as young as I used to be!

Pass the jug. I emptied out those others on the way to the WonderTub!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Sep 11, 2014 9:14:13 AM

Coots, we're trapped. Maggie's the only one who didn't get nabbed. I hope she has the good sense to bust us outta here.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Sep 11, 2014 12:16:25 AM

The bushes rustle and then what! I'am alone again where is you running too. Turns around and runs in to this big ex army sargent, I have the worst luck. I let him taste the jug and behind the she and in the bushes well the jug is empty and I'm crawling out. Dog gone it geezer wait for me, oh man I have to do double time good thing I brought these inflatables with me. This is how I got away from the revenors I just floated in the river right past those nosey rental cops and pa pow I'am free to boot. Well boys we made it pass the jug, geezer next time you swim I get the tub!:)
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Sep 10, 2014 8:32:59 AM

Where'd everybody go?
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Sep 9, 2014 8:42:35 AM

This ain't a va, Magger, it's WonderTub. Hang on, we're takin' off! WHHOOOSH...

:::arrives at the Gastonia Home for the Aged and Insane:::

Okay, here's the plan. We just wander around like we're residents until one of us spots DH. Then give the signal. You know the signal. Caw like a crow. Then we all meander to that spot, surround DH, then walk him, SLOWLY, over to WonderTub an' we're outta here. Let's go.

:::coots start wonderin':::

:::After an hour and a half, a series of caws break out. Coots start quickly meanderin' in several directions:::

Chris: What the...here comes a bunch of guys in white coats. Run!!

Maggie: I'm not runnin'. I found this cute guy in a weed patch out behind the maintenance barn...

BG: I gotta ponder this.

Ethyl: Who the hell are these people?

Geezer: Coots, we gotta vamoose, an' quick. Those white coats think we're residents, an' they're carryin' big needles. Scatter!!

:::Coots wake up in a large room, on cots brought in for them:::

Chris: Uh oh.

Geezer: Uh oh.

BG: Uh oh.

Ethyl: Who the hell are you people?

Maggie: DH, do you think they'll find us out here behind the maintenance shed? I sure hope not.

:::Bushes rustle:::



[Edited by: geezer at 9/9/2014 8:43:24 AM EST]
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Sep 9, 2014 1:44:38 AM

Howdy Geezers

Another WonderTub adventure!!!!! Who're we gonna spring? DH????? I heard he was in the psyche ward in the Gastonia old folk's home. No need for any fancy plans to get him outa there. We'll just waltz in and tell 'em we're gonna take DH out for a walk and some fresh air. They'll be glad to get rid of him for a while. I heard he's driving them all nuts!

Pass the jug. It's time to prepare for this next adventure!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Sep 8, 2014 12:25:44 PM

:::wipes tear:::
Nice memories, geezer! Now push the red button (not the comedian's Red Button. We're not bullies, are we:) and lets get this show on the road. Hangs on to Ethyl, who hangs on to the hooch jug.
WHOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Sep 8, 2014 12:20:12 PM

That's kind of sad, maybe it was his bragging that kind of led to his problem! Well I hate to see any one suffer so if there's a chance lets go for it, but he will have to watch his mouth . Even after working in the factory for almost 30 years I still have a limit to what I will listen too! Geezer load up the van and bring the shine, chris grab your cig's and lets all ride hold on geezer is driving! This should be a wild ride guy's, pass the hooch here you go bg, take a swig chris here i'll hold the steering wheel geezer so you can have a swig too! Yee Haw here we go boys, this is fun have a great day guys lol!:)
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Sep 8, 2014 8:40:45 AM

Mags, DH, a.k.a. Drunkhabib, is a woman chaser extraordinaire. He used to hang around at the clubhouse and "shake the bushes with DD, a.k.a DevilDog88. He frequently got in trouble with the mods, and we haven't heard from him or DD in quite awhile. He'd brag about his, um, large appendage, the Cottonmouth. You get the idea. Unlike the rest of us, I think his persona here was probably close to what he's like in real life, embellishments aside.

Anyway, we're flyin' over to the hoosegow to see if there's a need to break out the old boy. Hold on. You hold on too, Ethyl.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Sep 7, 2014 8:17:37 PM

Who's in jail?Tell DH were on the way hey some one tell me what side he's on. I sure wouldn't want to interrupt any thing if he's sweet on a another! Geezer what's the scoop on this situation, and BJ where's the inspiration for us all? Someone pass me the jug I'm need vtpo think this one thru!:)
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Sep 7, 2014 4:42:40 PM

Drinking our hooch won't make us any smarter, this has been proven time and time again, by our hairbrained schemes, but we're so happy, we don't care!

:::Gases up the WonderTub® with Ethyl, hooch and ciggy's:::
We're go to go, Captain Geezer!

I'd better have a slug of this hooch to make sure its not tainted.
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Sep 7, 2014 8:06:03 AM

Uh oh. It looks like the world is coming to an end. BG has no wisdom to impart. BG, we NEVER have wisdom. I'm not really sure just what it is, but wisdom it ain't.

DH is in the hoosegow? Mebbe we better go visit him first to find out if he's cooped up on the wimmen's side, 'cause if he is, he won't want to be sprung. We can roll him a supply of fatties, though.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Sep 7, 2014 1:08:17 AM

Howdy Geezers

Just pass the jug. I got no wisdom to impart today!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Sep 7, 2014 12:39:20 AM

I've seen that shirt. It shows an old geezer and a 2X4. :::crickets chirping:::
On the brighter side… Phyllis Diller, er ah, I mean, Joan Rivers is keeping St. Peter in stitches.
Oh, DD slipped me a note last night as I passed the city jail. Yep, DH is in the hoosegow again. Maybe we should fill up the Wondertub® and spring him? He also wanted some special cigarettes from the garden.
Pass the hooch, BJ, I got to think about the long arm of the law.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Sep 6, 2014 9:02:43 PM

Hey geezer I seen a shirt the a gentleman was wearing today that reminded me of you. It said just an "old geezer formerly, was known as a stud! Pass the jug please I need a sip or two! Well we had our Indian festival today and it was great, from the littlest dancer to the oldest it was wonderful! The grand-daughters came and ate till they couldn't another thing snicker snicker. There were so many things to do from horse painting to basket weaving to making your own bow and arrow and a good campfire! I thought that It was well put together good food and a lot of nice people, hootch on the other side of the fair grounds and the other side was dancing, boxing, food, arts and native american and early frontiersmen crafts. Truly a great day but when we got to the other side there they were the cops, fuzz, revenuers, eye watching all, it was like big brother watching you! OOOHHH pass the shine will ya its like a bad fright movie!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Sep 6, 2014 3:34:18 PM

Howdy Geezers

Maggie, I'll take ya up on that jug offer. Good thing I wasn't there for that geezerdance rehearsal, 'cause I just don't dance! But those 911 first responders were were good. I don't think I've ever seen them drag people by their feet before!!!!!!

Pass the jug. I just wanna have a sip of Maggie's HOOCH!
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Sep 5, 2014 12:29:21 PM

Hey geezer I'am half Irish so watch yer step my little friend. We don't dance our heads off it is much like line dancing only you add in a little jig, ah heck I'll join just for fun every one should dance a little! This weekend we will be dancing at the Indian Festival pass the jug I'm feeling a little shakey from the geezer dance ah thatsd better ! Any one up for another round I'm feeling the blood flow or maybe its the shine flowing.
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Sep 5, 2014 8:57:32 AM

It's apparent some of your relics have never done geezerdance. Have you heard of Riverdance? You know, them Irish people in a big line dancin' their brains out. Well, we have done it here, too. Wanna try it? Okay!

We line up, Side to side, Chris. Now lock arms together. Sheesh, Chris. Not with yourself. With the people on either side of you. Okay, looks good. Now, when the music starts we all dance like there's no tomorrow. Ready? Go!

Clackety-clackety, Yeah! Clackety-clack, crack, oof! Crack, OOOOOWWWWWWWW!!! Thump, OOOWWWWW! Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle...

Somebody call 9-1-1.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Sep 5, 2014 8:38:45 AM

Howdy Geezers

Yer correct, I75. I'm plannin' to lose weight and go back to school. Thanx for the nudge upside the head.

Pass the jug. I'm gonna ponder my weight loss program!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Sep 5, 2014 12:07:20 AM

Geezer, can you hum a few bars of geezerdance? All I'm thinking of is the Izzy shuffle.
I gotta tend to the weed patch. Its in an awful state of overgrowth! Where's DH when you need him?
I'll just take this half-full jug with me for emergency purposes.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Sep 4, 2014 1:34:38 PM

Hey geezer you were talking about the moonshine right? At my age not to old and not too young! I don't know the geezer dance, but I was in a parade and I can shoot a rifle and I know how to watch for those dad burn revenors. A still nothing to it some darn good moon shine and they just can't catch me. Pass the jug my man and I'll fill-r-up when I'm finished!
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I75at7AM
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Sep 4, 2014 10:23:48 AM

Hey, BG, ponder this: Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, gramps !!!

I'll take a sniff o' that hooch jug anyway.....

And as for a parade float, yeah I worked on one,.....mighta pee'd on one too!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Sep 4, 2014 10:05:50 AM

Howdy Geezers

We gotta geezerdance??????????????

Pass the jug. I gotta ponder this!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Sep 4, 2014 9:16:29 AM

Mag, you can bring your jugs to the derby anytime.

Happy Friday? Uh, did you start celebratin' a bit early? Not that there's anythin' wrong with that...

Free, welcome. Nice of you to join the rest of us relics. Say, are you handy around a still? Do you know how to spot a revenooer? Ever worked on a parade float? Can you do geezerdance?
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Sep 4, 2014 12:48:22 AM

Ole geezer you old rumor monger, if it was the old guy and he was single why not but alas all the good ones have been taken. Didn't know him but I did meet him once when he walked around the factory wishing each and every employee a merry now that's not done any more your just a number and you can be replaced very easily! I always miss the fun parts of life geezer next time let me know ahead of time so I can go to the derby too! I'd even bring a jug or too if you promise to share that is! Happy Friday to you all does that mean we can start celebrating?
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Sep 4, 2014 12:18:03 AM

AH,FreeRoy! You must have seen our new "members wanted" sign out front. Oh, we don't really go by calendar years here. It's more a frame of mind, and how well you chug on the hooch jug! We're looking for fresh blood, er ah I mean, members. The older ones have been dieing off at an alarming rate.
Rule #1- Don't go down in the basement, that's where we keep the zombies. And Rule #2- DON'T push that red button on the WonderTub®! The last geezer that did that... Well, that's another story. We've got plenty of them.
Here, have a pull on the hooch jug.

PS. With only 12 posts in 3 1/2 years, I see you are a man of few words. We can live with that. Most of us can't hear worth a darn anyway.
"I got a new hearing aid the other day"..... "What KIND is it"?
:::Looks at watch..... Uh, 12.23am:::
:::Crickets chirping:::

[Edited by: Chris46 at 9/4/2014 12:23:44 AM EST]
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