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cheapmonkee

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Portland

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Message Posted: Jul 5, 2005 9:30:10 PM

Welcome to the club. Even you young pups can stop on by as long as you mind your manners. There may be snow on the roof but there's a fire that ol' diablo would covet in the furnace so watch out!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 22, 2014 10:43:32 AM

Okay, SHHHH! BG is nappin'. Hand me that magic marker. Good, now a few lines here, a few there and voila! BG looks like a beatnik! Hee, hee.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Nov 22, 2014 10:41:43 AM

Good Morning Geezers

Good jammin' last nite (and into early this am). I'm bushed! A sip of hooch or two and I'm gonna grab some shuteye.

Pass the jug. I gotta get ready for my nap!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Nov 21, 2014 9:41:55 AM

Howdy Geezers

Indoor bluegrass festival this weekend. I will be there for the weekend! Stop by and I'll supply the hooch.

Pass the jug. I gotta get my fingers limbered up for pickin'!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 21, 2014 9:16:39 AM

Thanksgiving is next week, coots. Whose turn is it to cook this year?BG, you have a dirty mind. Way to go!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Nov 20, 2014 2:48:48 PM

Good Afternoon Geezers

The possible comments on yer last posts could get me into real trouble, so I'll just mosey over to the corner with one of Maggie's jugs and have a sip or two. An' I'm plannin' to leave enuf fer Chris to join me.

Pass the jug. Chris and I are gonna do some drinkin'!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 20, 2014 9:30:32 AM

Which jug are you lookin' at, Magster?

I've never seen a duck with teeth, Chris. When you have 'em in is it tough to quack?
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Nov 19, 2014 11:43:33 PM

My teeth are chattering, and they aren't even in my mouth! I've had to suck hooch from a straw. Why, its so cold...... (Peanut gallery)...... "How cold is it"?...... Its colder than a lower back tat with a halter top on!
Pass the hooch, BJ, I've got my straw warmed up!
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Nov 19, 2014 8:00:41 PM

Santa baby hurry on and see me tonight, around the christmas tree are those presents just for me? Oh this miracle hootch works like magic and warms your inner soul. So BG are you still there oh darn he's passed with the jug in his hand isn't that cute, geezer I heard that you all went to school with old man winter am so glad that you didn't turn too be as cold as he is. 12 below wind chill here so I am looking at the jug lovingly, can't hibernate I would miss my few sips in the evening It keeps me strong anf going. My grand mother use to have a shot of Irish whiskey every nite, she lived to be almost 98! I' will have to work hard to beat that record LOL. Chris your not frozen yet are you? Take care all and have a good nite!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 19, 2014 9:15:39 AM

An' I'm drinkin' to internal warming!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Nov 18, 2014 10:16:27 AM

Howdy Geezers

Pass the jug. I'm drinkin' to global warming!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 18, 2014 9:20:05 AM

Mags, I grew up with Old Man Winter. Back then he was known by other names. Rugrat Winter, Little Bas***d Winter, etc. He was always a bit odd. Standoffish. Cold. He was married to Indian Summer for a short time, and the marriage lasted only long enough for Indian to have twin daughters, Autumn an' Spring. Indian Summer was quite the looker - she was hot!
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Nov 17, 2014 9:48:30 PM

Howdy gentlemen, it is only 15 with a wind chill now below zero! Old man winter is here, guess he wont be retiring any time too soon. Hey geezer I bet if you shared some of your miracle hootch he would warm up and quit making it so cold here Maybe he would even smile! Don't worry about my tats I keep them covered in weather like this!Oh BG I think we will be getting a lot worse, and they say it will last longer. Hey I seen the sun shine today, we stopped for lunch at Popeye's good chicken! Her's looking at you kids!:)
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Nov 17, 2014 9:53:04 AM

Howdy Geezers

19 degrees is cold, Maggie?????? We had a high of 9 with overnights dropping to around zero or slightly below. I'm really glad we've got all this global warming that's bein' forced on us. I'm sure it's helping with my heating bills and keeping me warmer than I wanna be! But, Miracle Hooch is the perfect anti-freeze and I intend to keep from freezing. It's nice, tho, to have January in November. That way we get it over with sooner.

Well, Santy, er, I mean geezer, I accept yer explanation and believe that the baby peed on yer leg. Didja ever consider puttin' a plastic sheet over yer lap? I guess the parents would prolly get cranky if they saw that 'cause we know their perfect kids would never pee on Santy!!!!

Pass the jug. I'm gonna have a sip with Maggie!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 17, 2014 8:53:49 AM

I'll have you know that the Ten Day Turtleneck Depends 'liminates the need for an undershirt, 'an they don't leak, so it was the baby who wet me.

Now, Whackadoodle has a set of underwear 'cause I'm told he has to wear suspenders to hold 'em up.

You be careful out there in the cold, Magatha. you don't want to get freezer burn on your, er, tats.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Nov 16, 2014 5:35:15 PM

Its not a set unless the T-Shirt matches along with socks! That is unless you wear designer depends, how about it Geezer? I heard about that little trickle running down your leg but I have no opinion. LOL So BG i have been known to be a little sassy once in a while, especially if someone is picking on ya all. Or no I can't talk about that! Wackiness get with the program and speak up or just have a few slugs of this and you'll fit right in darling! Geezer I agree no babies unless mom or dad wants to get in the picture the way your high and dry! Hi Chris where our you my darling I haven't heard from you in ages and I was missing your sweet talks. EWell Guys its snowing again and I will have to put on my snow pants as its just down right cold out there 19 degrees! Have a great evening and don't forget....
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Nov 16, 2014 11:32:47 AM

Howdy Geezers

Jeez, geezer, ya take all the fun outa my fantasizing 'bout Maggie's, er, tats. She brings a bit of civilization and decorum to this clubhouse, but has that potentially wild side! Just what we old farts need!!!

I walked in just after ya claimed that baby peed on ya last year. As I recall, there was some speculation about overflowing D E P E N D S. Since I made my way over to the bar immediately I never heard how it was resolved. Now, 'fess up geezer..........what's the real skinny?

Pass the jug. I gotta ponder whether or not Santy wears a "pair" or a "set" of undies!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 16, 2014 8:19:11 AM

Asked that question before, you have, Whackimoto. Here, take a pull on this jug and ponder no longer.
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wackiness
Champion Author San Bernardino

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Message Posted: Nov 16, 2014 2:06:30 AM

Question Oh Honored One

Why is a pair of undies called a pair when there's only one set?
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 15, 2014 8:42:51 AM

Ho, ho, ho! Uh, just practicin' to be Santy Claus. No babies this year! Last year one of 'em sat on my lap an' peed on my leg an' the parents said I wet the baby!

I'll also be needin' two or three youngish female helpers. Chris, set up the interviews, will ya? I hear there are some good candidates down at the cheerleaders school.

BG, quit starin' at Maggie's, er, tats.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Nov 14, 2014 11:58:41 PM

Hello Boys how be ya all, I sure hope this finds you all well. Busy today doctor appts, and tests have to go back to the doctor Tuesday at 7am. Will have to set the alarm I don't like getting up so early. Its hard enough some days just to get up especially if I'm having a good dream or a late night snicker. Oh BGJ who are a siver tongued little devil bless your heart! Don't worry I took all the classes on reviving all who need it! Geezer who is going to be Santa at the club house, how about some games for the grand kids and maybe a prize for the winner what cha think? I mean you always come up with good ideas, we the (ladies) could bake up some goodies for us all! Well boys its getting late talk at ya later and try to have a good night!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Nov 14, 2014 10:43:04 AM

Good Morning Geezers

I'd be mesmerized just observing Maggie's tats, 'speshly while she's wearin' her Elvira dress! Maggie, ya gotta be careful 'bout lookin' so good around here......I'm not sure our old hearts can take it.

Pass the jug. I'm gonna ponder MERMAIDS!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Nov 14, 2014 10:09:40 AM

Sailors ask for it by name!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 14, 2014 9:10:12 AM

Mermaid Hooch - It slides smoothly down your throat and leaves you mesmerized.

[Edited by: geezer at 11/14/2014 9:10:37 AM EST]
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Nov 13, 2014 11:26:09 PM

Hey Maggie! Maybe we were there the same time? Did you ever dress up as a mermaid? Just asking...
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Nov 13, 2014 5:39:49 PM

My tattoo is that of an Indian head ban that my father made for me, and in the center is a dream catcher. But i exercise pretty regular to keep my shape, you never know what's out there. And this way I can wear my Elvira dress every once in a while! Casablanca oh those were the days, just put your lips together and blow! What a line wish I would have thought of that one!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Nov 13, 2014 11:28:59 AM

Darn! I took a bath this morning, and my tat's came off! I guess I was only dreaming the night in Casablanca, when I got the mermaid on my arm!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Nov 13, 2014 10:57:23 AM

Howdy Geezers

I never got a tatoo so I cain't participate in this little exercise. I'd rather look at new Miracle Hooch (and drink it!) than look at old faded body art. So....

Pass the jug. I'm gonna taste new hooch and try to tell how old it is!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 13, 2014 9:11:24 AM

My wife had a tattoo of a bunch of grapes put on when she was young and into wine. Now the tattoo looks like a box of raisins and all she does is whine about it.
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Nov 12, 2014 11:50:17 PM

Geezer, the last time I saw that copy of Playcoot, it was in the outhouse. Reading material, you know.
Hey! Let's play a game of "Guess what my tatoo used to be"! Great fun and a barrel of laughs!
Pass the hooch BJ, I got to get my pump primed.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Nov 12, 2014 12:13:12 PM

Good Morning Geezers

Yup, it's good to get together with the jug here in this clubhouse! I kinda like the lack of requirements, 'cept for bein' old.

Pass the jug. I'm gonna enjoy my dottage!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 12, 2014 9:10:15 AM

The clubhouse at the golf course had 10% off for veterans, but when I went up to buy a round it was Happy Hour, and the Happy Hour prices were cheaper....

Here at our clubhouse, drinks are always free for veterans....because we veterans are the ones who make the hooch and, well, drinks are free for everyone, anyway.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Nov 11, 2014 7:53:15 PM

Howdy Coots

I never thought I'd see all the Vets benefits that we're gettin' today, when I signed on those many years ago. I had a couple of free meals today and a car wash all because I wore the uniform for 24 years. Besides, they're now payin' me to stay home. It don't git much better'n that!

Pass the jug. I need some dessert after those freebies!
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Nov 11, 2014 7:16:44 PM

GOD BLESS US ALL, MAY GOD BLESS ALL THE VETS!:)
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 11, 2014 8:46:35 AM

Pancakes, shmancakes. Anybody got soup?

Yeah Chris, Euchrebanks! Oh and Clara Peller was the "Where's the Beef??" hottie. I still have her centerfold from Playcoot around here somewhere.
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Nov 10, 2014 9:51:37 PM

Oh, the Euchre party would have been a blowout if not for the hooch sipping. And I believe it was Bob Euchrebanks or something like that, geezer. I think I saw that episode cuz the censors cut out a lot of the end (no pun intended) and replaced it with "Where's the Beef" commercials! Sweet little thang, she was!!
Did someone mention pancakes?
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Nov 10, 2014 6:34:59 PM

BG you keep that ole white stuff over by you! We had it twice but it melted and still stupidfied the drivers her. I hear we are getting our share of that four lettered word up north but not down here in the southern part! Yeah!!!! Chris are you still playing with the cards golly take a few slugs of this and geezer too! I made it with the left over maple sap from our trees when we were making our syrup and it tastes pretty darn good goes down like liquid pancakes! Now that's a good WAIT WHAT WAS I SAYING OH WELL HAPPY TRAILS!

[Edited by: magpie2013 at 11/10/2014 6:37:34 PM EST]
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Nov 10, 2014 1:29:13 PM

Good Day Geezers

We're gettin' our first snowstorm of the season ("I'm dreamin' of a white Vets Day") today and tomorrow. I've already cleared the driveway once and expect to do so a couple more times. We should get 12 to 14 inches before it's over, and people are really driving stupid. WELCOME TO MINNE SNOW TA!!

Pass the jug. I gotta get some anti-freeze in me!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 10, 2014 10:40:33 AM

Anybody home?
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 9, 2014 8:19:36 AM

Twin Cities it is, BG. Now, where'd I put that cloak?

Me, too free wheelin'? Ha! I've paid for most of my wheels my whole life, although there was this time when Izzy an' I were cruisin' through Altoona in his Model T an' the local Goodyear store left a side door open when they closed...
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Nov 8, 2014 11:49:35 AM

"Mornin' Geezers

Just fly that craft over the Twin Cities an' I garontee you'll be the talk of the town, an' I'll find ya. However, once ya get noticed, flip the switch for the cloaking device, so ya won't get caught. This is Minnesnowta, where absolutely nothing is allowed, and you might be too free wheeling to be allowed here. I'd hate ta see ya get thrown in the hoosegow for exercizin' yer rights.

Pass the jug. I'm gonna prepare for a stealth encounter with geeze in the WonderTub!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 8, 2014 11:18:02 AM

BG, I'm headed out to ya in WonderTub an' a new battery. Uh, what's your address?
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Nov 8, 2014 10:39:39 AM

Sorry Chris wish I could help, here have a few on me. Hang in there buddy we are here for you!:)
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Nov 7, 2014 10:37:22 PM

Hi There Geezers

My modem crapped out so I gotta use free public access. Computer's got a weak battery so I may not be around for a couple of days.

Pass the jug. I'm havin' withdrawals!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 7, 2014 9:34:04 AM

Alright Chris. Deal 'em. Oh, but first, pour out somma that hooch. There ya go. now, I've never played Euchre. Is it related to Bob Euchre? You know, they guy from The Datin' Game?

I was on The Datin' Game once. I was Batchelor Number 2. I thought I'd won when the batchelorette said she was gonna take Number 2, but she really said she had to take A number 2 an' rushed off the stage.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Nov 6, 2014 8:55:26 PM

good evening boys I hope this finds you all well rested! Chris I do believe we are free after thanks giving day! We could plan a hill billy turkey day, or what ever you would like to call it. I will try my best to send you all a pumpkin pie hootch. BG I understand if I don't show up at my daughters table without my sweet potato pie I am in big trouble! Long day today it was only in the 40's and very windy so I stayed in and made home made lasagna and stuffed green peppers froze them for when old man winter is here and I can stay in and just pop it in the oven while it warms up I can have a little peppermint hootch! I better get to work and label all those jugs so I don't lose track of whats what! Pass the jug boys I am really thirsty now! Boy just thinking about work makes my pipes a little dry! Have a great evening my friends, and don't do anything that I wouldn't do!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Nov 6, 2014 11:31:37 AM

Good morning geezers.
:::shuffling cards:::
Anyone for a friendly game of Euchre and Hooch sipping??
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Nov 6, 2014 10:18:38 AM

Howdy Geezers

Ya don't wanna use a Maple Tree, geezer. I've got 4 Silver Maples in my yard and while they give great shade, they drop trash all year long. Try one of them plastic Christmas trees from Wal*Mart. They're easy to put up and take down, they don't shed, and if ya spill hooch on them they don't turn brown.

As for Thanksgiving, Maggie, Mrs BG and I are invited to spend the day with some special family members and I will not miss that for anything. However, I wouldn't mind gettin' a couple of yer jugs filled with punkin hooch to take along. The Miracle Hooch I've brought in the past has been a hit, and I'm bettin' yers will also!

Pass the jug. Chris and I are gonna make sure our throats don't get rusty!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Nov 6, 2014 9:08:18 AM

Every year we struggle with needles from the Christmas tree, so this year let's try a different kinda tree. How 'bout a maple? No needles an' a lot more room for decorations an' stuff. Whatchya think?
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

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Message Posted: Nov 6, 2014 1:27:16 AM

Thanks for covering my backside, Maggie. It's not a sight for weak stomachs! Anyway, Halloween is over, time to put up the Christmas tree. I hear those New Yorker's chopped down a 150 year old Blue Spruce and are putting it in Rockefeller Center, just for show.

We should do something for Thanksgiving, so we don't get rusty. I have enough rusty parts as it is, if you catch my drift.

Pass the hooch, BJ, I don't want my throat to get rusty also.
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Nov 5, 2014 12:03:37 PM

Oh you guys are such a treat and those silver tongues make a girl feel like a young one again. It may interest you to know that our bunch made the top of the top of the list of people to watch, geezer they had a red star by your name. BG take a rest you deserve it, nice dance moves wow! Well boys are we gonna have a thanksgiving shin dig or do we wait for Christmas. I thought I seen wackiness mopping floors but I only caught a glimpse so I can't say for sure. Well you guys mull this over either Thanksgiving or christmas or a big bash for new years, shucks I'll even make you all some sweat potato pies with the krunchy top! Well i have to rest up now they gave me the third degree down at the station but I covered our back sides. The club house is still safe! Cow boysI need a nap and a little sip!:)
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