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cheapmonkee

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Portland

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Message Posted: Jul 5, 2005 9:30:10 PM

Welcome to the club. Even you young pups can stop on by as long as you mind your manners. There may be snow on the roof but there's a fire that ol' diablo would covet in the furnace so watch out!
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magpie2013
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Message Posted: Jan 30, 2015 7:01:54 PM

Wow BG your really thinking that far ahead? LOL Next time Geezer has a plan maybe he should contact you and discuss the probables and improbables of any ideas that come to mind! I heard tell that some of the people living up there in the rockies are making good use of all that metal already! Wow nothing like an accident to bring out the thinkers in this world. I still have not heard much from Chris and Geezer there's no telling where they are, so many different sightings its hard to tell. I hope they are in time for Valentines Day, I was going to host a small party for all the guys at the club and their better haves! I just finished the apple pie hootch and added red coloring to make our party a sensation. Oops the dye did spill a little and poor mom is a little red, oops the dog is turning red too! Oh well the hootch turned out really good tastes just like apple pie with out the chewing. Thought I would make this for Chris since he did all that chewing on the rope! Well if I don't see you all on sunday, I hear tell we will be buried in 6-9 inches of that white stuff. I should make a batch of white lightening and just poor it on the drive way and lite it the white lightening now snow blowing at all. Hey I could invite you all over for a barbecue! Wow a few Prime Ribs and we could have a good cook out! I think Geezer is putting ideas into my head, quick some one give me a jug!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Jan 30, 2015 11:59:11 AM

Good Morning Geezers

Hey, Maggie, didja see that news report 'bout a smashed up ferris wheel in the Grand Canyon? Good thing it didn't hit anyone or anything! There was some talk that those pilots that reported a flyin' ferris wheel are goin' to be taken seriously. I hope geeze and Chris keep the cloaking device in operation till they're far away from that ferris wheel crash site. There were several other news reports about a missing ferris wheel at Coney Island. I really wonder if the authorities can put two and two together? This whole episode sounds so far-fetched that geezer and Chris might actually get away with it!!!

Pass the jug. I gotta ponder these improbabilities!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Jan 30, 2015 9:26:11 AM

No more rope, Chris. Keep gnawin'. I'll try to find a spot to drop that wheel so we don't squish anybody, but from this high up it ain't gonna be all that easy to aim.

:::Snap! The rope gives way and the Ferris wheel plummets:::

Wow, that's some impressive plummetin'! Look, it's turning like there's somebody operatin' the ride. Sure is a pretty sight. I wonder where it's gonna land. Well, we better hightail outta here before those jets figure out where we are.
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Chris46
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Message Posted: Jan 29, 2015 11:51:38 AM

Geezer, I forgot to untie the 500' safety rope! Quick, give me your boy scout knife! :::sawing franticly::: Say geezer, when was the last time you sharpened this baby? :::saw saw saw saw saw::: I think I can chew it in two, faster! :::chew chew chew chew chew chew::: I wish I'd have brought my good set of teeth! Geezer, how much rope we got left?
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Jan 29, 2015 10:12:56 AM

Alright Chris, let's get outta here. First, though, we haveta cut the Ferris wheel loose. Hit that release button, would ya? No, not THAT button!!! Aw crap. Hang on!

::WonderTub, Ferris wheel attached, shoots straight up 30,000 feet::

Grab a mask, Chris! There ain't much oxygen up here.

::Chris grabs a mask, then pushes the release button::

Uh oh.

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Chris46
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Message Posted: Jan 29, 2015 12:33:29 AM

Geezer, I'm sure glad I made it up to the wondertub. Those jets were buzzing the wheel like...... like last summer, when I was mowing the clubhouse lawn, and ran over that nest full of yellow jackets in the ground! That's all I heard for a month when I lay my head down at night...... Bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz! Well, those pilots can't report a "flying" ferris wheel, so we're good! Should we jettison the wheel in the Grand Canyon and pick it up later? Whoa is us! I miss my hooch nightcap!
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Jan 27, 2015 9:22:54 PM

BG if I were geezer and Chris I'd jump ship find me a truck headed back our way, don't forget wear big hats so you fit in. LOL stay away from anything that flies. Don't make too many friends with the locals so you don't mix up your story and that way they wont question why your down there. As soon as you get across call me or BG and we will make arrangements to get you home. Boy this is really a hair raising adventure, it seems that everyone is out there with different stories about the flying saucer. Yep the psychiatrists ward will be full for a while, those poor pilots will be loosing their flying licenses for awhile. Hope we get them back home safe and sound I sure can't see geezer in a straight jacket, his stories are wild enough and mostly true!
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BGJam
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Message Posted: Jan 27, 2015 10:05:01 AM

Good Morning Geezers

Maggie I saw those news reports of the AF fighter pilots reportin' a flyin' ferris wheel. I went on the Air Force Times website and read some more in-depth stories. Seems there was a big promotion party the night before the fighter scramble and the Air Force is considerin' that some of these pilots were flyin' in a somewhat altered state, thereby accountin' for the wild stories about a flyin ferris wheel in the Grand Canyon. Those pilots reported that the ferris wheel was flyin' nap of the earth and they couldn't get down that low to get a positive ID. I'm guessin' that the AF Flight Surgeons and Psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this episode. Yup, Maggie, that sure sounds like geezer and Chris! I wonder where they'll stash that ferris wheel?

Pass tyhe jug. This is great entertainment!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Jan 27, 2015 9:03:45 AM

Chris, Mexico? We're in freakin' Mexico? How'd we get so lost?? Wait, here comes the Mexican Air Force....no, they're good ol' U.S.A. planes. Hmmm...the Grand Canyon! We're in the Grand Canyon! Oh man, those planes are comin' fast an' I don't think they're a friendly escort.

:::pushes the Cloak button:::

There! They can't see us now. Chris, relax. We're invisible. What? Oh no! WonderTub is invisible, but the Ferris Wheel isn't! All those pilots can see is a Ferris Wheel floatin' in the air. Chris, climb on up here - we gotta boogey!
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Chris46
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Message Posted: Jan 26, 2015 10:45:58 PM

Beam me up, Geezer! That donkey guy said "No hablo Ingl├ęs", then tried to sell me some pictures of his wife! I don't think we're even in the good old..... Great Caesar's Ghost! Am I seeing things, or is that the "Great Pyramid of Tenochtitlan" down there? I used to fly down here for the Winter!
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magpie2013
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Message Posted: Jan 26, 2015 8:13:39 PM

I hope that they remember which button to hit for that cloaking device, I hear what you are saying BG those F22 Raptors are really tough birds. My Uncle helped with the build and flying of the stealth bomber and he use to tell us the capabilities of those planes! I need a drink or two , am startin to worry about our boys. When it comes to the Air Force they are pretty tough customers. Geezer and Chris you need to vacate that wheel and fast. Another sip or two, or darn its snowing here! Quick get that plow out the plow guys will be coming down the hill fast to shovel us in!
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BGJam
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Message Posted: Jan 26, 2015 9:54:36 AM

Howdy Geezers

Maggie, I saw that news blurb that some sorta flyin' contraption was spotted over the Grand Canyon. I was pretty surprised to see that they scrambled 4 armed F-15s and 2 F-22s. If that's geezer and Chris they're lookin' for, I hope geezer gets the WonderTub's cloaking device working. Those F-22 Raptors are the best in the world and they usually defeat all adversaries by about 6 to 1 ratio, and in practice, they've never been defeated. That cloaking device has been known to defeat radar so that's prolly their only chance. I'm thinkin' geezer oughta just release that ferris wheel and high tail it outa there after pickin' Chris up. Mebbe no one will be the wiser!

Pass the jug. I gotta ponder communications with the WonderTub!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Jan 26, 2015 9:05:27 AM

Chris, if we stop one of those donkey folks an' offer to share a jug with him, then casually mention how nice it is here in North Carolina, mebbe he'll give us a better idea of where we really are. That way we ain't really askin' for directions. I'll drop you off down the trail from that guy on the donkey over there.
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magpie2013
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Message Posted: Jan 25, 2015 6:39:43 PM

The news people are going bonkers, hey one of those rag magazines you see in the grocery store now says "Its From Outer Space! and in the picture Chris is on the bottom of it and yep Geezer is on top! Will we ever see our two little Gastonia friends again oh my these are troubling times! The President of the U.S. now has the troops on call! Oh this is a very perplexing problem I need a sip or two to try and think of how we can rescue our friends! Hey BG what are your thoughts on this situation?
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Chris46
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Message Posted: Jan 25, 2015 12:37:08 PM

Jeez, Geezer, I don't think we're in Kansas! Do you think we should ask for directions? Guys don't ask for directions, though. Being a duck, you'd think I'd have a better sense of direction! Flying south for the winter and all! I think the hooch has effected my brain powers! I miss Maggie and BJ! Wait!.... What's that up ahead! Its a sign post! Get a little closer... "Welcome to The Twilight Zone, your next stop!" Its your call, geezer! Whatcha think??
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Jan 25, 2015 10:25:44 AM

News? Tornadoes? Why, we're just a coupla guys transportin' a big piece of machinery. Okay, we should be flyin in soon, is that gully clear....Holy Moley! BG, that's the biggest hole I've ever seen, an' it stretches for as far as the eye can see! What'd you do with the dirt, bury Louisiana? Sheesh, there are people on donkeys ridin' to the bottom an' rafts on Whiskey Creek at the bottom. Park rangers?!? We have park rangers now?

Where's the dadgum clubhouse? Where's the still? Where's Gastonia? Sumthin' is very very wrong here...
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magpie2013
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Message Posted: Jan 24, 2015 3:01:15 PM

Well geezer you finally did it its all over the news, Here in the big WI. we were told that at first it looked like a tornado twister was loose! All the sirens are going off and people are buying water like crazy and boards over to the Home Depot store I tell ya the line is a mile long. Well I insulated the still and added extra wood to both sides and back that should hold her! Bg pass the jug all this work and storm news is giving me a powerful thirst! Hey much do we have in the clubhouse treasury I have a bad feeling about this, I just hope they make it in one piece! Whew I am getting worried about this adventure!:)
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geezer
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Message Posted: Jan 24, 2015 12:31:14 PM

Hey Chris, how's it goin' down there? I don't remember it bein' so flat in Maryland an' Virginny, an' there are a lot more cornfields than I remember. Anyhoo, we should be in north Carolina shortly. Almost back at the clubhouse!

I'll send a WonderGram to BG an' see if he can expand the gully a bit to mount the Ferris Wheel down low so the authorities can't spot it.

[Edited by: geezer at 1/24/2015 12:32:28 PM EST]
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BGJam
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Message Posted: Jan 24, 2015 11:31:46 AM

Good Morning Geezers

Hey, Maggie, didja see that news report about a ferris wheel on a car in a Mac & Don's Fine Supper Club parking lot. I wonder if that could have been geezer and Chris? We'll find out soon enough. Meanwhile........

Pass the jug. I gotta ponder parking lot ferris wheels!
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Chris46
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Message Posted: Jan 23, 2015 1:16:32 PM

Wow! That was some sandwich, geezer! Now lets get back to the parking lot......... That's strange!........ What's that car doing parked underneath our ferris wheel? Oops! (Leaves note--"Good for one large hooch jug" OGCH, Gastonia, New York). There. I wonder if BJ and Maggie miss us?
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Jan 23, 2015 9:34:59 AM

Howdy Geezers

Hey, Maggie, have ya seen geezer and Chris yet? I've got the feelin' that something more than navigation went wrong. We should have heard from them by now. May have to organize a search party and check the FAA's radar tapes to see where they disappeared.

Pass the jug. I gotta get ready for searchin'!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Jan 23, 2015 9:23:23 AM

I think you're right, Chris. Wow, that's gonna be a really big Micky D's when they're finished buildin' it. That must be the Patomac next to it. I never realized it was that wide. We're gettin' closer to home.
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Chris46
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Message Posted: Jan 23, 2015 1:12:58 AM

Geezer, is that big silver half a McDonald arch up ahead, or am I delirious? Set the Wonder-tub down in that parking lot over yonder. I'm big-mouth hongry!
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BGJam
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Message Posted: Jan 22, 2015 9:31:25 AM

Howdy Geezers

Maggie, we may never see them again. geezer thinks he's headed south but those falls are west. Who knows, he may end up in our neck of the woods here in the midwest! geeze, we've got a great avionics shop here at Crystal Airport and they can fix anything, even if it's obsolete. Take up a mag compass heading of W, and give a call on unicom in about 4 hours. There'll be someone expectin' yer call.

Pass the jug. I gotta lubricate the throat before makin' those calls to the avionics shop!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Jan 22, 2015 9:09:19 AM

Sorry 'bout that, Chris. We have a problem. The navigation system just went out, so I'm flyin' without a compass. Not to worry 'cause I'm pretty sure south is straight ahead. Ooh, look at those big waterfalls down there!
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Chris46
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Message Posted: Jan 22, 2015 12:34:14 AM

Geezer, I ducked (ha ha) into one of the gondolas, like you said. And then I must have passed out! I've got quite a bump on my head! You DO know one of those cables you dropped hit me on the head! I'm OK, I'm OK, just a little whoosie! Maybe some hooch will help.

Maggie, Sal wants to know when he will see you around Eastertime. I told him to come visit Gastonia around Valentine's Day. OK?

BJ, thanks for your concern, buddy. I could have been squashed!
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magpie2013
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Message Posted: Jan 21, 2015 6:02:18 PM

Awh geezer be very careful hey what happened to Chris are you still on did you lose him, I can't see him. Hey Chris oh Chris where the heck are you? Geezer slow that wheel down so we can look for Chris. Oh I can't look is that Chris under the wheel? Oh its just some junk hooked on the wheel, whew I have to sit down and take a few sips with BG I'am not sure about this escapade of yours Geezer! Well try to stay out of harm's way my friends see you all when you get back.
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Jan 21, 2015 4:59:16 PM

Good Afternoon Geezers

Somehow, I've got a bad feeling about this ferris wheel caper. I sure hope I'm wrong!!! Time will tell........

Pass the jug. I just wanna drink!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Jan 21, 2015 9:26:17 AM

PSSSSSTTT!!! Chris! Up here! I'm hoverin' over the wheel. I'm lowerin' the cable now. Hook it up an' climb into one of the gondolas.

Ready? Off we go!

:::Noo Yawk City residents are stunned and confused by the Coney Island Ferris Wheel flying over the city, then turning south and headed over New Joisey::

How's the ride, Chris? Next stop, Gastonia!
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magpie2013
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Message Posted: Jan 20, 2015 1:42:43 PM

Oh my goodness well my prayers are with you Chris, Hey just tell him you know Sal head of the police dept and that Elvira sends her best Hello. Always best to make friends with the police that way if you ned a favor you can count on them! What's wrong BG be glad your not in coney island with chris and geezer. Hey did you ever notice if the police are around that Geezer is out or he's running and errand, well he certainly has the best of luck! Hi Bg you sound a little down in the mouth anything I can do to help, lets think about our next parade in Gastonia I believe it should be the Easter Parade or is it the Irish. Well whatever it is I'm there with bells on!
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Chris46
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Message Posted: Jan 20, 2015 11:47:48 AM

I'm getting kind of worried about geezer. I've been holding these 4 heavy duty shackles for hours! My wings are getting tired, and its getting light outside. Waiting... waiting... waiting... Oh, hello officer!... What am I doing?... Well,... (hands phony work order to officer)... We've got a contract to repair this here broken ferris wheel... See the bolts are rusted clean through!... (slight ha ha). Officer, if you'll just call the owner in your cruiser, I'm sure he'll back us up... (Come on geezer, I can't stall much longer! Says Hail Mary).
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Jan 20, 2015 9:35:38 AM

Hiya Geezers

I gotta just sit in the corner of this clubhouse and hope everything goes well with yer adventure at Coney Island. Didja install the turbo supercharger on the WonderTub, geezer? Otherwise, I don't think she has quite enuf power to lift that ferris wheel. I hope ya installed a new winch cable also. I noted that there were some frays in the old one. The clubhouse treasury is in fine shape so we oughta be able to bail you two out if things go south. Just sittin' in the corner, sippin' Miracle Hooch, and hopin' for the best.

Pass the jug. I'm gonna up the intake!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Jan 20, 2015 8:57:45 AM

Alright, Chris. I think all we have to do is loosen or cut those huge bolts holdin' the structure to the ground, then lift the whole thing up with WonderTub. Heck, after we grind up those staves we can sell rides to the good folks of Gastonia.

:::fires up the cutting torch:::

::a half hour later::

There, everythin' is cut. Now, I'll go back an' get WonderTub. I'll hover over the wheel an' you hook it up to the winch an' we'll be on our way.

Be right back.
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Chris46
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Message Posted: Jan 18, 2015 12:42:39 PM

This is great! The owners left the gate unlocked! I'll wheel in the oxygen/acetylene cart, while you bring up the Ridgid tool box on wheels! Hee hee! I brought a couple of Lone Ranger masks to wear, just in case they have any hidden cameras around the joint. There's the ferris wheel way in the back of the park. Just like milk in a grocery store. Its ALWAYS in the back! Let's get to work! Oh, first pass the hooch, and lets toast to George Washington Gale Ferris!
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

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Message Posted: Jan 18, 2015 12:16:05 PM

Awh leave it to geezer he's prepared for every occasion, a quality that is hard to find in the world of yuppy dumb and me first know it all brats! Thank goodness us old timers have common sense, pass the jug BG I have to think about this younger generation. Hey Chris have a sip or two of this honey shine it will loosen that fog on those goggles with one breath. Geezer where are you going to put the wheel, hey at the club house in back we have room and we could charge for a ride get us some funds for our next adventure! BG my friend would you like me to put another log on the fire? Here buddy try this honey hootch I whipped up for cold weather, no flu in this family we keep it at bay with our hootch, also good for sore throats! Hey we have marsh mellows alright lets roast them up!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Jan 18, 2015 10:38:07 AM

Hi There, Geezers

My, but this clubhouse is nice and warm! I'm sure glad I'm not out flyin' 'round this country in an open air WonderTub. Ah, Maggie, it's so nice of ya to keep me company here in this cozy joint with copious quantities of Miracle Hooch.

Pass the jug. Let's get started making a dent in the Hooch supply!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Jan 18, 2015 8:45:52 AM

We're here, Chris. I'll set her down over by Nathan's Hot Dogs joint. Hey, it's kinda snowy. No one has shoveled. What the...this place is closed for the season. Hmmm...with nobody around we can take that big Ferris wheel over there. Got the wrenches 'an cutting torch? Let's go.
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Chris46
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Message Posted: Jan 18, 2015 12:06:00 AM

Are we there yet? My flying goggles iced up over Pennsylvania! Geezer take control. I've got to drink some hooch and then thaw out my goggles!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Jan 17, 2015 1:23:21 PM

Howdy Geezers

It's kinda nice bein' all snuggled up with Maggie. Youse guys go out on that field trip, I'm gonna polish off at least one jug of Miracle Hooch whilst yer gone.

Pass the jug. Time to get started!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Jan 17, 2015 12:58:41 PM

The tub is fine in cold weather. It has three heaters and it's well insulated. Next stop, Coney Island. All aboard!
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magpie2013
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Message Posted: Jan 16, 2015 8:31:52 PM

OOH BG how's that for close! No more talk of the white plague up here we are not paying much attention to it if you ignore it might just go away. Geezer I'm with BG its not warm enough for a trip in the tub! Howdy Chris like the way you think borrow the ferries wheel and have a gooooooo time on their dime!:) Stay warm geezer you never know where the revenoers are!
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BGJam
Champion Author Twin Cities

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Message Posted: Jan 16, 2015 9:41:54 AM

Howdy Geezers

Bundle up for that WonderTub trip. Wind chill will be a killer. Glad you guys are going, and not me. I'm gonna snuggle up with Maggie and sip Miracle Hooch!

Pass the jug. I'm gettin' ready for a close encounter with Maggie!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Jan 16, 2015 8:44:28 AM

Jump in WonderTub, Chris. It's off to Coney Island we go!
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Chris46
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Message Posted: Jan 15, 2015 10:39:49 PM

Sounds like a good plan, geezer. We can shoot a video of that, and call it "Happy Feet".
I don't personally have a Ferris wheel, but thought we might use that one they put in storage at Coney Island? Can't take too much to put some chopper on it. Can it?
Pass the hooch, I think I just saw "Dead Man Walking".
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Jan 15, 2015 9:08:51 AM

Coots, we need somethin' to melt the snow an' warm up the environment. I figger if we take our spent mash an' spread it over the snow, just the heat of all the birds' little feet might be enough to melt away most of the white plague. Whatchya think?
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BGJam
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Message Posted: Jan 15, 2015 8:47:30 AM

Howdy Geezers

Yah, geezer, the Corn Palace is just the municipal auditoriun and the high school plays their tournament games there. It's a good tourist trap though. Mrs BG worked there when she was in high school and claims to have both good and bad memories of the tourists.

Pass the jug. I gotta prepare for today's funeral!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

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Message Posted: Jan 14, 2015 9:17:43 AM

I've been to the Corn Palace, BG. Impressive on the outside. Not so much inside. Mrs. Geezer picked up a wheat sprig on the sidewalk and stuck it in a plant at home. Two years later it sprouted!

I'm thinkin' we might be able to get their old corn when they change the buildin' 'an we can make Corn Palace Hooch from it. Should be a big seller.

Chris, you got a Ferris wheel hidden away somewhere? Sounds interestin'.
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BGJam
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Joined:Jan 2009
Message Posted: Jan 14, 2015 2:45:57 AM

Howdy Geezers

My guesstimate was wrong, we actually had 728 miles from the Kentucky/Illinois border to home. Arrived here at 1830 (6:30 pm) and got most of the laundry done. Heading for Mitchell SD ("Home of the World's Only Corn Palace") when we wake up in the morning. Funeral. Gettin' to an awful lot of them lately. But it's a short trip, only 335 miles each way.

Pass the jug. I'm gettin' prepared to see a dead family friend!
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magpie2013
Champion Author Milwaukee

Posts:4,838
Points:149,395
Joined:Apr 2013
Message Posted: Jan 14, 2015 12:00:25 AM

Hello boys how ya all doing, still pretty cool up here but they say we will hit 35 by Friday. Howdy Chris mom says to bless your heart that you sound like a real gem, geezer you make her laugh she likes a guy who thinks! BG so sorry to hear about your trip being cut short drive careful my friend. When you get home I have a jug of honey shine to help warm you back up. One for each of you, mom likes it she says it warms up yer innards and heals what ails ya. we are all feeling pretty good now! Hope you all take care and don't ;et those revners catch up with us. Pass the jug this is pretty darn good stuff!
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Chris46
Champion Author Dayton

Posts:49,710
Points:2,808,210
Joined:Sep 2005
Message Posted: Jan 13, 2015 6:58:37 PM

Geezer, we can rig up a ferris wheel with choppers instead of like the seats! Pass the hooch I just brought. I need to wash this idea down!
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geezer
Champion Author Albany

Posts:24,893
Points:3,805,695
Joined:Apr 2003
Message Posted: Jan 13, 2015 8:03:32 AM

Keep the shiny side up, BG.

Chris, up in Izzy's room there hafta be 50 sets of choppers. He never was comfortable with any of 'em. Mebbe we can make a jig to chew up them staves. A little ingenuity can go a long way. Let's go out to the shop 'an see what we can come up with. As BG says, we gotta ponder. Bring a jug or two to help us in our endeavors.
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